Cohabitation Agreement - A different perspective would be appreciated ?

[PCBristol]

I met my current partner about 3 1/2 years ago. I was going through a separation with my ex-wife, all fairly amicable. I have 2 kids that live with me half the time. My current partners now lives with me. We have a very good relationship apart from when it comes to the finances. I have managed to accumulate quite a lot of assets and cash have a number of companies so make a decent income. My partner is not really bothered about money and has very little in the way of assets or cash. She spent a lot of time working abroad and stopped all that to be with me (and it was about time ) I did know this at the time we met. Since then I have asked her to do 2 things. The first is to do something that will contribute towards our retirement. I am 45 she is 38. Not asking for a lot, just something so I don't have to fund everything for the both of us. The plan was for her to buy a house and rent it out, in exchange I would pay all our current bills. That has simply not happened and all I get are excuses as to why it hasn't happened. I have sold a number of companies and dont really accept excuses so find that really hard to deal with. The second is to sign a cohabitation agreement to protect my assets. I plan to give a lot to the kids at some point. She refuses to even read the agreement. My divorce cost me a significant amount of money so I want to protect the assets for my future and the kids. I for pretty much pay for everything to allow her to sort out her financial situaion.

It has got to the point where I either accept the situation or ask her to leave the house and stand on her own 2 feet. It is impossible to talk through as she just gets hysterical. Any suggestions ????

Jesus. Why would you have kids with her? She sounds like a scatty nightmare that you’ll need to support for the rest of her life. Even more so if you have kids with her. Why do people feel the need to have kids right new unsuitable partners and then act surprised when it all goes wrong? You have totally different values and attitude to cash.

You have very different attitudes towards money but I think that makes you incompatible. For it to work either she has to change or you need to accept she won't.

@PCBristol

It's morally questionable to have children with a woman and expect her to be the primary caregiver if you aren't willing to financially support her and your child if the relationship ends. And I don't just mean CMS but lost earnings, national insurance, lost career progression, nursery fees and the multitude of other costs separated parents opt out of.

Why on Earth you'd choose to have children with someone you can't even discuss finances with is unfathomable

@WaltzingBetty
Totally agree....I am not expecting anyone to be the primary care giver. I would happily be that person in the relationship.

I wouldn't have kids with someone who I couldn't talk to about money. If I were you I would want a cohabitation agreement and I would want your partner to plan for her future.
She sounds like a sponger.

@PCBristol. But you opting to be primary carer only works if she is prepared to be the primary earner which she isn’t. Otherwise you’re doing both and she’s doing what exactly?

Getting the feeling she’s already pregnant which is prompting your belated attempt to force her to be financially responsible.

@Phbq. Absolutely. Why would you agree to have children without ironing out fundamental differences in approach. Especially as you already have children whose welfare you should be prioritising rather than creating family number two.

[quote PCBristol]@WaltzingBetty
Totally agree....I am not expecting anyone to be the primary care giver. I would happily be that person in the relationship.[/quote]
Are you both female? It's pertinent to figuring out the logistics, but we still come back to finances - you can only be the primary caregiver if she can step up financially.

It sounds like this relationship is promises and romance but no real communication or teamwork.