Packed lunches - am I the boring mean mum?

[rumpleteaserspaws]

I hate doing packed lunches with a passion and am dreading doing them daily when the DCs return to school!
My DC's have had a few days at holiday club over the past three weeks, and I've had to do their lunches for that. They have been complaining (albeit nicely ) about them having a "healthy" lunch, because their HC friends have nicer (so read more sugary) stuff in theirs.

So, I'll tell you the contents and you can tell me if I'm boring;

Sandwich of choice, usually tuna or egg mayo, or cheese w/ tomato or cucumber.

Veg pot - carrot, cucumber, tomatoes.

Piece of fruit, sometimes two.

Squeezy yoghurt of some kind.

A treat type item, either crisps, a club-type of biscuit, mini Soreen loaf.

To me that seems like a perfectly normal packed lunch, mainly healthy but with a bit of fun stuff. We are not a mega healthy household in that they get sweet stuff more often than I'd really like. They certainly aren't deprived of anything. This type of packed lunch is what they'll be getting daily when they return to school, but I can already envisage the complaints I'm going to get, argh!

That sounds great to me - healthy and balanced but with a little treat too. However, I used to work at a preschool and was surprised to see that the majority of parents sent their kids in with a sandwich, crisps, piece of fruit, yoghurt or mousse and a vast array of sweets and chocolate. Not just a Kit Kat or a penguin bar or whatever - like a regular sized packet of Skittles, a mini Mars Bar and a mini Milky Way, I’m not the treat police or anything and my kids are allowed sweets and have biscuits every day but I was surprised that parents sent actual sweets in with a packed lunch when there was loads in the packed lunch for a 3 year old anyway and they get fruit and crackers and snacks twice a day at preschool. So maybe that’s why your kids are complaining to you? Perhaps the other parents do the same as the ones at my preschool did?

@HoppingPavlova

Never ceases to amaze me how much people's children eat for school lunch. Mine always had a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich (on good quality low-GI bread) for lunch and a water bottle. They got a lunch order of their choosing, I didn't care how unhealthy, once a month. If more food was added they wouldn't be able to eat it all - and that's from Kindergarten until end of high school. I'm certainly not saying what people give their kids is too much or is bad food, I just can't wrap my head around kids eating that much.

Blimey, you’d get fed better than that in prison! A dry sandwich and water?

I usually do
1 x ‘main’ so sandwich/ wrap/ pasta if we have some left from dinner the night before
1 x veg
1 x fruit
1 x savoury snack (crisps, crackers sort of thing)
1 x treat (mini soreen, biscuit, cereal bar)

One of the fruit/ veg gets eaten at morning break time.

@blacktop

Never ceases to amaze me how much people's children eat for school lunch. Mine always had a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich (on good quality low-GI bread) for lunch and a water bottle.

Never ceases to amaze me now little other people's children eat for lunch. Oh, wait, it doesn't. I don't care how much or how little other people give their children for lunch. I'm happy with my choice, so happy in fact that I do not need to put others down to justify it.

We've got that type of parent in our kids friendship group. Her child only needs one sandwich and fruit, doesn't eat any junk. Well it's complete bollocks, he is forever eating from friends lunchboxes and when he comes round he has no self restraint.

I don't put much in the lunchbox as it get thrown or given away.
I've told my lot before it's not a competition or an exciting adventure, it's a bit of food to get you through the day. So it's a water bottle, a sandwich, something like ham and cheese or Chicken, sliced cucumber or something similar thats not eaten over the last school year so I stopped it Bag of cheesy crackers, and a small biscuit.
It gets my adult sized 15 year old through the day and she has a snack when she gets home.

Same here, except rather then a yoghurt mine get a sugar free jelly pot.
I know some kids at my DD’s school get a chocolate bar under the guise of a cereal bar too but mine don’t.

Oh! I'm feeling bad now- mine have always just had a sandwich and two pieces of fruit. They've always complained everyone else has much bigger lunch! I thought they were making it up. DD struggles with her weight- HV suggested I only gave her half sandwich and one piece of fruit at when she was younger!

Your offering sounds fine (more carbs/sugar) than I'd ideally put in, but not terrible.

Yet they want more treats/junk?!

What is it exactly their mates have that they feel they're missing out on? Or are the others just taking cold mcD's & sausage rolls/crisps/chocolate & nothing else?

I think you need to see what it is they perceive they're missing out on, them you can see if there's anything you're happy to swap about.

It's a tough balance with school lunches 😔

Mine (6 and 10) are both quite slim - about 9-25th centiles for their ages.

Usually they have school dinners but at holiday club they've been taking:
Sandwich (cheese/ham/tuna/peanut butter)
Fruit
A pepparami or babybel
Yoghurt
Crisps
Malt loaf bar

That covers their snack and lunch. 10 year old always eats everything, 6yo sometimes brings some back.

Soreen is never a treat.

Perfectly normal. Don’t fall for ‘all the other kids have XXX’ It’s probably nonsense.

To make it a bit more interesting we had a little chart that I masterminded and D.C. drew and coloured. It had a column for ‘main thing‘ whIch were sandwiches/pork pies/cold chicken gougons/hummus/mini sausages/pizza slicesetc. A column for fruit/veg which could be veg slices like you do or an apple/tub of cherry tomatoes/coleslaw etc. A drinks column- juice box/little chocolate milk carton. And a treat - crisps/fromage frais/cake.

Each week they’d look at the chart and decide what sort of things they wanted for the following week and each day we’d assemble the lunch box for the following day making sure they had something from every column. Having an element of control and choice over what they ate reduced complaints and having to pick from the columns made sure it was reasonably well balanced. If it looked like it was a bit carb heavy or low in protein might add in a mini cheese or small cubes of chicken or an yoghurt tube.

Yours sounds fine!
Mine have similar (minus the yoghurt) and make the same complaint. I did start putting in a tiny bit of chocolate or a biscuit and that stopped the complaints.

Sounds perfect for a school day lunch but I'd give some extra treats for holiday club as its the holidays and they're there all day.
If you hate doing the lunches, you could make a batch of sandwiches and freeze them at the start of the week. Obviously not salad, but other fillings should be ok. :-)

Mines get

A sandwich
A vegetable
A fruit
A serving of dairy (usually cheese or a yoghurt)
An extra food to fill them up, usually cocktail sausages or olives
Water to drink, or occasionally a small carton of juice or smoothie as well

Sounds fine, my DS is 9 and underweight so he has (and eats)
Wrap (beef)
Cheese cubes
Cucumber stick
Fruit bar
Mini cheddars
Yoghurt
Berries
Club bar
Pepperoni

@HoppingPavlova

Never ceases to amaze me how much people's children eat for school lunch. Mine always had a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich (on good quality low-GI bread) for lunch and a water bottle. They got a lunch order of their choosing, I didn't care how unhealthy, once a month. If more food was added they wouldn't be able to eat it all - and that's from Kindergarten until end of high school. I'm certainly not saying what people give their kids is too much or is bad food, I just can't wrap my head around kids eating that much.

I find it strange that you'd feed a teenager so little!

Piece of fruit 50-70 calories
Vegemite sandwich about 250 calories

So you expect children to be active and learning all day on about 300 calories?
I'm amazed they weren't hungry!

Crisps are terrible for teeth

Annie1919

That’s what I gave mine. Sometimes a healthy tray bake piece. DS1 recently told me they sometimes swapped for someone’s chocolate biscuit.🤣 he has only just owed up to this...he is 42!😂

I had a vegemite sandwich and a piece or two of fruit. Then I had cheese and pineapple every day for about a year. We ate our main meal at night as did my children. Some of the kids I know have a big packed lunch but they get very little at night.

OP you could do a tray bake of carrot cake or some healthy bar thing. It lasts a few days. I also used to give mine a pot of homemade garlic cheese mixed with a bit of yoghurt and a mix of stick veg and bread sticks. Biscuits and cheese. Different breads so not just sandwich bread. 🥖 🥯

this sounds fine. i dont really think children (or adults) need crisps everyday. they're fine as a treat but fruit is much better. they already have a treat item, and presumably they'll have a sugary snack when they get home from school too.

They all sound very generous and perfectly good enough- a few too many crisps and sweetened things perhaps but f they’re running around or playing lots of sport, that’s fine.

Growing up most children had a cheese, egg or jam sandwich and an apple. Nothing else was considered necessary. No lunch boxes either just a paper bag for the sandwich. We worry far too much about food now and have made meals into a hobby.

We've got that type of parent in our kids friendship group. Her child only needs one sandwich and fruit, doesn't eat any junk. Well it's complete bollocks, he is forever eating from friends lunchboxes and when he comes round he has no self restraint.

WTAF? How am I ‘that type of parent’? Or into competitive underrating? Or putting anyone down? Or shaming? I clearly said I was not saying anyone else gave too much food or unhealthy food. Just amazed at what some kids seem to be able to fit in and my mind has trouble processing it. I would have gladly given mine 10x as much food if they would have eaten it.

As for the revolting comment about taking food from other children and going places and stuffing themselves with no self/restraint - nope. Again, I would have been more than happy for mine to go to parties and stuff themselves silly but it never happened. I never said they couldn’t have anything nor was there talks about unhealthy food. Mine would go to a party, have maybe a party pie or sausage roll, handful of crisps, a few lollies and be too full for the cake! If my kids went for play dates on pick-up the parents would fuss that they hadn’t eaten enough, not that they had bogged in like pigs at a trough! Apart from one with physical disabilities mine were all extremely energetic, active, played a lot of competitive sport etc, all very healthy and the boys over 6’ as adults, but yet never ate more than a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich for lunch (1 had cheese on the v’mite sandwich in cooler months, the others preferred plain vegemite). Anything over and above that would remain uneaten, they couldn’t come up with anything they wanted as other preferences and they honestly didn’t have anything from anyone else. So again, while absolutely nothing wrong with what anyone else is feeding their kids, god I cannot stress that enough short of repeating it a thousand times, I am genuinely bewildered as to how the kids fit it all in with a lot of the lists that have been given. There is no way I could fit it in and I’m overweight, but do absolutely no exercise admittedly.

@DeeTractor

Do we have competitive undereaters on lunchbox threads now? 🙄

There’s no way I’m a competitive under eater, but I have browsed this thread and thought wow that’s a big lunch a couple of times. Then thought back to what mine would have had. There’s no way they’d have had sandwich + crisps + biscuit + yogurt + fruit. You wouldn’t eat that at home for lunch, you’d have a sandwich, maybe with a bit of salad or a few crisps on the side and something for ‘afters’ wouldn’t you? A yogurt or a biscuit and a piece of fruit later for a snack.

Sounds good. Most schools are really pushing healthy lunches so if there are kids taking treats and no healthy stuff then they (well, their parents) are in the wrong.
My kids would never manage to eat all that in the time they've got for lunch!

I send a sandwich - humus and carrot, cheddar or a cream cheese and cheddar bagel
A piece of fruit
A pot of vegetables like cherry toms or olives
Some type of crackers

That's it, I must be v. mean for not adding any treats

@HoppingPavlova

We've got that type of parent in our kids friendship group. Her child only needs one sandwich and fruit, doesn't eat any junk. Well it's complete bollocks, he is forever eating from friends lunchboxes and when he comes round he has no self restraint.

WTAF? How am I ‘that type of parent’? Or into competitive underrating? Or putting anyone down? Or shaming? I clearly said I was not saying anyone else gave too much food or unhealthy food. Just amazed at what some kids seem to be able to fit in and my mind has trouble processing it. I would have gladly given mine 10x as much food if they would have eaten it.

As for the revolting comment about taking food from other children and going places and stuffing themselves with no self/restraint - nope. Again, I would have been more than happy for mine to go to parties and stuff themselves silly but it never happened. I never said they couldn’t have anything nor was there talks about unhealthy food. Mine would go to a party, have maybe a party pie or sausage roll, handful of crisps, a few lollies and be too full for the cake! If my kids went for play dates on pick-up the parents would fuss that they hadn’t eaten enough, not that they had bogged in like pigs at a trough! Apart from one with physical disabilities mine were all extremely energetic, active, played a lot of competitive sport etc, all very healthy and the boys over 6’ as adults, but yet never ate more than a piece of fruit for recess and a vegemite sandwich for lunch (1 had cheese on the v’mite sandwich in cooler months, the others preferred plain vegemite). Anything over and above that would remain uneaten, they couldn’t come up with anything they wanted as other preferences and they honestly didn’t have anything from anyone else. So again, while absolutely nothing wrong with what anyone else is feeding their kids, god I cannot stress that enough short of repeating it a thousand times, I am genuinely bewildered as to how the kids fit it all in with a lot of the lists that have been given. There is no way I could fit it in and I’m overweight, but do absolutely no exercise admittedly.

An active, healthy boy of 10 needs about 1800-2000 calories a day, which is more that me as an adult woman.

So the lunches that are around 600 calories and more normal/common than your 300 calorie ones. Presumably your children just ate very big breakfasts/evening meals to compensate.