Birthday rules

[EvaHoffman]

I have realised that efforts to make other people's birthdays special are all in fact about ME and therefore narcissistic. We need a new set of rules so that every birthday is as flat and puritanically joyless as possible. I will start off the rules and you can add:

1. Any presents should be anonymously given and in no way frivolous so there is no sense that the giver is displaying their wealth or expecting a response
2. Parties should be organised by the birthday person only so there is no sense that the person offering to host is narcissistic
3. Birthday cake should come from supermarkets only. Any home made cakes are showing off
4. When singing Happy Birthday all guests must stick to the melody at all times even if it is too high/low for their voices. Any attempt to make this easier for them to sing or more harmonic is showing off and narcissistic

It looks like lots of people thought that the first rule is that you don't diss birthdays, or that nobody could hope to beat your suggestions, so they didn't reply!

My rule is: the birthday person has to be blindfolded and in the room while the presents are wrapped and the room decorated, so they appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. (Actually my DH does this to me for a laugh.)

If the (adult) birthday person categorically states they do not want a party then throwing them a surprise party is even more what they don't want. Even worse when the party thrower has dug up ex-colleagues from years ago because ”youve not seen her in years”

yes. There are reasons.

Not me but this happened to a close friend whose husband didn't believe she didn't want a beano on her 60th. She wanted a family meal out, afternoon tea with close friends and a trip to Paris.

Her husband knew ”better”. He had the hugest shit-eating grin on his face the whole party. She was polite. He brought the party to the afternoon tea she wanted with her friends and made it about him.

She went to Paris with her closest friends. He still didn't get it.