How much better/different would your life have been if you’d had a cracking body

[TheMurk]

I’m 5ft 2 and for a visual reference if you imagine me looking like Susan Calman just with an Afro-y wig on, that’s pretty much me.

I am obviously considerably overweight now in my mid 40s by 3 or 4 stones which I doubt I’ll make much of a dent in now. It’s my hope to simply not get any heavier.

I was looking at pictures of Rita Ora in the paper today and I just sighed massively and thought lucky bloody bitch, she can throw on any old thing and look fab, she can sling on a bikini and jump about and still look amazing if she’s being photographed, she looks so carefree.

Made me wonder if my life would have been different if I’d been blessed with a better figure.

Even when I was younger I was conscious of my stomach. There’s a pic of me aged about 8 In a Snoopy swimming costume and my stomach protrudes even then.

As a teen I was always squishy all over, not overweight really, just stumpy and thick everywhere. I remember trying to zip up knee high boots and almost stopping my circulation.

Every day of my life I dread picking what to wear. I would love to wear things that are trendy but they never work with my height or over my big middle. I have big Flappy boobs and a flat bum so when people say make the best of your assets or flaunt your curves? Well I don’t have any good bits, I really don’t.

Imagine the time and energy I would have saved over the years with a Rita Ora body. Just pulling on jeans and tucking in a blouse over my flat stomach and hips that go out in the right place (mine sort of slope in).

It’s not even about looking attractive so much as feeling carefree.

I just think people with bodies in proportion and bumps in the right places probably have no idea how easy their lives are in comparison.

I have always hated my legs, I carry my weight on my legs, especially my thighs, but also have fat knees, huge calves etc. At one point in my early 30s I lost loads of weight through diet and exercise and was a size 8-12. But I still hated my legs. Even though I could wear tiny clothes, I would never ever wear anything above the knee.
So I agree with you OP, if I had a great figure with long thin legs I think mentally I would feel much better about myself and it would be amazing to stop fretting about it. I never think I look nice. Which is a bit sad really, but at 45 I have learned to accept myself a bit better.

I am a size 8-10 and my figure is 34B-26-32. But I have very pale Irish skin with uneven freckles and white patches and so I have covered up a lot of my life. Recently I’ve said fuck it I’ll just wear what I like and got my milk bottle legs out. But it went against the grain and I felt quite unattractive.
I guess I’m just saying that everyone has their insecurities.

I was slim, and at times very slender from childhood to my mid 20's, when the pounds started to creep on. I certainly looked better then, and clothes buying was much easier, but I wasn't happier, and I have a better life now - happily married, doing a job I enjoy. I'm overweight (and carry it all on my tummy, which isn't great) but I still wear shorts - I'm not looking for the approval of others, and I don't like being hot! I wonder if being slim when I was younger means I have more confidence - that makes much more difference to happiness.

I usually look quite slim because I'm tall and have thin legs, but I have been very thin, even then I didn't have the type of figure I wanted. I think if I had, I would still have found faults but ultimately would have been, and would be a much more confident person.
It takes me a long time to find clothes that I think I look good in, especially for occasions.

I agree OP. I'm in my 20s and feel afraid as people seem to say this is when they looked their best and yet I'm wasting the years away being miserable in my current body. I was a lot smaller a few years ago and although I didn't have the perfect body I was happy with it, could dress nicely etc. But since I've put weight on my boobs have ballooned - last I measured I was a 36GG and have probably put 2st on since then! So I completely get the proportion thing. I had a friend who weighed around the same as me but she carried it sooo much better. I'm just top heavy, if I cut my boobs off I'd probably drop 3 dress sizes!!
I live in boring plain tops and leggings now, I've lost all my confidence and personality and generally don't like life. I feel scared because this is the time I'm 'supposed' to be enjoying life and meeting people and I feel like no one will be interested in me looking how I currently do. I'm working on it, but it's difficult.

I get what you mean. I’ve always had a good figure, even now at 46 it is one less thing to worry about in life, that I can throw on a pair of shorts and feel confident. My body shape has changed a lot, I used to be athletic with a six pack, now I’m way curvier and don’t wish to have such a hard body, I was underweight looking back. I’m two stone heavier now and am trying to lose a stone just to feel really good, (it’s damn hard at this age) but despite carrying the extra weight, I am still proportional and toned and still have a good waist and figure. So yes, I do know what you mean.

Even when I was thin & totally in proportion, I didn’t feel care free in shorts/skirts with bare legs because of how pale/impossible to tan legs & the contrasting dark leg hair stubble threatening to break free hours after shaving. I also had big tombstone teeth with a big gap between them (still do) & didn’t do much smiling as a result.

A good body doesn’t necessarily translate to life being carefree & easier.

In the nicest way, TheMurk, you're dreaming a little =)

I had an, um, rather good body and frankly, I found it extremely uncomfortable to the point that I made damn sure I wore baggy stuff. Now and then female friends would get exasperated and push me into a makeover but I just was not comfortable because the amount of attention it got was actively unpleasant. I honestly wished for a hijab at times, becuase walking down the street and having men throw ' nice tits' at you as you pass is just downright obnoxious.

Not being able to handle it was partly a confidence thing but, well, longing to throw-anything-on-and-look-fine is also a bit of a confidence thing :)

Now I'm a tubby sack of potatoes and it's really quite freeing, though I miss the feeling that comes from being physically very fit and slim.

Some people have better genes than others, some people are devoted to having a cracking body.

I don’t think it makes that much difference. It’s useful to be invisible! You don’t want attention just because of what you look like.

OP - I can guarantee you, most straight women (I say straight cause we are prob more conditioned to feel insecure by the male gaze/patriarchy than our queer sisters) who look like they are just wearing shorts like 'whatever' probably have bits of them that they hate. Even bits that are exposed!

I am in my 30's and have an ok figure, but my thighs have lots of cellulite. Like lots. Like mountain ranges. I still wear short shorts! Because I learned not to care. Who cares if I or someone else thinks my thighs look shit? I am not sacrificing my personal comfort for that. Wear shorts OP! Its lovely and breezy. If they feel like denim torture devices, you need a bigger size. No shame in that.

I agree with @minipie. I would be prepared to bet that Rita Ora employs a PT, eats very healthily for the vast majority of the time and works her arse off in the gym. As do all the other attractive celebrities, whatever they may claim in a PR effort to be ‘relatable’.

If you’re over 30 and you want a good body you have to earn it.

Cantsleep This is exactly what I was going to write. I'm 76 now, I've always been slim with no effort. Looking back, I had a great figure - by today's standards. But back then the standard was curvy and my figure was boyish and I had zero confidence but I was seething with hormones. If I'd been curvy I would probably have got pregnant at 16.

I stopped wearing shorts and sleeveless tops when my knees got knobbly and my arms stringy. Now I've started again in this heatwave because I don't give a shit.

I think you have a point OP. I used to be quite chubby in my teens an early 20s, then I lost weight and discovered that I actually had an OK body hiding inside. It has been a massive boost to my confidence and I like being able to wear practically what I like (not everything suits) without feeling that I need to hide anything.

Today I wore a long black t shirt over black leggings and quietly boiled to death because I would not do any kind of summer clothing justice.

While I stayed cool wearing a bikini while stacking logs in 34 degree heat, occasionally chatting to passers by. Not trying to be smug, just illustrating the difference and why I'm happy to work to keep my figure.