Over thinking this??

[marvels81]

There is a back story, but I don't want to go into as I feel it will come off as too emotional, and just want some unbiased opinions!

Me and my partner have finished dinner, he hasn't said thank you for the home cooked meal,
previously he has said he always says thank you.... he doesn't!
I jokingly said something like "see, you haven't said it again" I can honestly say it was said with no malice, just want to point it out to him, as he likes to make me doubt what's been done/said etc,
He replied with " you don't say thanks for me going to work"

I only work one day a week, and do all the housework, he baths the kids, and puts them to bed.

Am I being ridiculous for wanting someone to say thank you once in a while for their dinner , while not thanking them for going to work?

YANBU. I

This sounds really petty. You want thanks for the work you do but not say thanks for his work. I don't get it

My DH and I have conversations just like this....but we do it in jest.

Sorry OP, this may be harsh if there's a back story, but based on what you've said I think YABU. I cook dinner nearly every night (as I work part time and DH works full time) and I wouldn't expect him to say thank you. It sounds kind of formal to me?

Looks like it's a double standard, I do thank him for other things he does, and show appreciation, just feel he never shows the same in return,
this was just an example!

I don't get upset or annoyed about it, just wanted opinions, but obviously over text, you can't get the right "tone" across.

My h cooks, I say thanks as he hands me the plate but I don’t normally thank him for the meal.

I never expect my dh to say "thank you" for meal. Like you say, I don't say "thank you" to him for hard days work.

But what I really love is he says " that was lovely" etc., which he does regularly. That's appreciating the meal I cooked, so it must be equivalent to saying thank you?

I always say thank you if someone has cooked me a meal. It's polite.

It’s a good example to set for the children. My ex and current Mr Frogspawn have always thanked me for meals and I do the same back. I do appreciate that the first Mr F worked for some years - 10 maybe? - while I was at home having babies, but I never thanked him as such. Maybe I should have but then again, he never thanked me for raising good children.

Probably the answer lies in the backstory so who can say?
For sure, I like to be thanked for meals I've prepared and cooked but I can't be sure I acknowledge his every effort.

But would you still say it to someone who cooked every day/night? Like did you say thank you to your mum or whoever cooked meal everyday when you were a child?
I do say thank you to my dh when he cooks occasionally because it's rare. Or if my ds decided to cook dinner, I would definitely thank him with over exaggeration. Or if I cooked something for my dh like unexpected lunch, he would say thank you to me, because it's not regular thing.
Maybe it's lovely to say" thank you" everyday, but I just don't think it's norm. I don't thank him everyday when he comes back from work, so I don't expect him to say "thank you" for me cooking dinner.

We did as children, thanked mum every meal, led by dad. It is nice to appreciate food made for you. However, mum May have preferred it if dad has cooked a few meals himself occasionally!

You are grown ups doing normal adult things, is it really necessary to expect a thank you for everything? It's petty as fuck

Actually that sound really lovely.
It's quite eye opening to know what other people/family do.

That was responce to Freda.

My dad was institutionalised most of his life before meeting mum so I think home made food made specially for him was particularly appreciated.

Freda That's a very good point, I haven't thought of the kids hearing it too.

I really didn't want to drip feed, but maybe I won't be seen as petty as fuck!

The backstory is it was my birthday yesterday , and I cooked, no big deal, I didn't mind, but no thank you, so I guess that just highlighted he doesn't say it!
I didn't want to say the backstory because it doesn't bother me and I'm not upset, or becoming emotional about it, and it won't drag on and be an issue, but it has bugged me enough to post here for some reason!

Freda I've just seen your last post,
a home cooked meal definitely shows love towards another.

Does he accuse you of being over emotional when you try to raise things? Because I'm not sure why you feel the need to keep assuring us you're not ?

Lack of communication? If you are not happy about something, you should say.

My DP has always thanked me when I cook for him and kisses me on the cheek. I was surprised as first as my ex rarely said thank you for my cooking. I think it's courtesy and a good example to set for children. I now make a point of thanking my DP when he cooks too. Showing your partner that they are appreciated goes a long way in a relationship.