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Sad about breast feeding

8 replies

HotandBother · 07/08/2020 17:11

Please can anyone offer some hope or positive stories to me? I need a ray of light as I am feeling increasingly down about my chances of breastfeeding. My baby is 4.5 weeks and she has been unable to latch since day 2. Day 1 she had a lovely long feed the evening she was born. We then had a very traumatic experience in postnatal and to cut a long story short, it meant that she wasn't able to breast feed at all the first night or next day (I fed her antenatally expressed colostrum through a syringe which I luckily had brought with me for emergencies). Her latch never recovered and though we have practiced regularly and done lots of skin to skin she hasn't picked up the knack. So I have been expressing milk and bottle feeding, and topping up with formula as I can't seem to express enough or sometimes find the time to express as many times as needed to make the supply what with looking after her and feeding her. We had a lactation consultant who said she had a borderline tongue tie and so we went ahead and had that snipped. Since then she has almost been re-learning how to use her tongue and often accepts the bottle under her tongue instead of on top, and this causes her a lot of frustration. I've had countless people watch us trying to breast feed and have been told my hold and techniques are perfect, so it's all about her way of latching.

The consultants say plenty of women pick up breast feeding this late or later still but I've yet to meet one! Everyone I know seems to have found it a breeze. The constant pumping and feeding is a hell of a regime. I'm trying to envisage keeping this up for 6 months, which is the minimum I wanted to breast feed for, and I can't imagine! I really really wanted it to work and for my baby to have breast milk. The breast feeding would also be so much quicker and easier.

I get sad sometimes that it always looks so easy, and in nature every mammal can seemingly pick it up just like that, but it's been so hard for us. She is always rooting around at my boob bless her and definitely wants to do it, but she can't get my boob latched properly and then she cries the house down bless her. I've tried nipple shields, skin to skin, bathing with her, relaxation, hours lying on the bed together, you name it, but it's not happening.

Is there anyone who successfully started breast feeding this 'late in the day'?

OP posts:
HotandBother · 07/08/2020 17:20

Forgot to add that I have a hospital grade double pump and have been power pumping.

OP posts:
LittleMissNaice · 07/08/2020 17:34

🙋🏻‍♀️ Me!

DC1 had similar issues, traumatic birth, great first feed then couldn't latch. I worked myself into the ground expressing for the first six weeks, then all of a sudden it clicked. I didn't do anything different, I'm not sure if DC just got that bit bigger which made it easier.

So, there is still hope! Having said that though, I look back on those six weeks and wonder what on earth possessed me to do that to myself. It's such hard work, and really, if it's too hard, that's ok.

becca3210 · 07/08/2020 17:36

The breastfeeding yummy mummies group on Facebook is very helpful for breast feeding advice.

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HotandBother · 07/08/2020 17:37

Omg that's amazing @LittleMissNaice !! How often did you attempt feeding your baby during those days? Were you trying every feed? And did you honestly not do anything different to get it to work? Did you baby get upset each time the latch didn't work?

Sorry for all the questions!! Confused

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LittleMissNaice · 07/08/2020 17:43

Can I PM you, don't want to give to much info online as I've talked about this a lot in real life!

TwinkleMerrick · 07/08/2020 17:50

I haven't read all your post as it's feeding time at the zoo....toddler! My dd did something similar, had jaundice and was fed through a tube...after that wouldn't latch so expressed and topped up with formula. I did it for 6 weeks and was exhausted and on my way to post natal depression as a result. I felt awful about giving up but my mum came round one day and saw I was on my knees and made me stop. 2 years down the line I'm over it and think I'm actually a hero for making sure she got so much mummy goodness for the most important time of her development. One thing I did was expressed late at night because I got more, then froze it. That way i had some to top her formula up for at least another 2 weeks after stopping. I didn't just stop, I dropped an express over a period of about 2 weeks.

If you don't want to stop, get onto the local breast feeding nurse or find a group to help. Don't try and get through this alone xx good luck

HotandBother · 07/08/2020 18:28

Yes of course, thank you so much @LittleMissNaice

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HotandBother · 07/08/2020 18:29

@TwinkleMerrick thank you

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