Is it normal to feel so sad when you stop breastfeeding?

[WheresMyMilk]

My daughter is 8 weeks old and for various reasons (tongue tie, mastitis, thrush) I think our breastfeeding journey has come to an end. It no longer hurts but her latch isn’t efficient and I’ve been reducing feeds to the point where I no longer think I will get engorged if I don’t feed.

Even though I see nothing wrong with formula feeding, I am suddenly feel really upset at the thought I may never feed her again. Is this normal?!

I’m debating if I can afford an Elvie so I can wear it all the time and get my supply up etc, and I don’t know why as the rational part of me is happy to FF!

Anyone else find it upsetting to stop? I don’t remember feeling this sad when it didn’t work out with my first child.

Have you had thr tongue tie cut? Please do if you can! It saved us and we're still breastfeeding now (almost 8 months!) We found a private person on the Facebook breastfeeding group.

Sorry almost 9 months!

Thank you - yes managed to get it done privately when she was pretty young! My nipples got ruined and I pushed through which is maybe partly why I’m a little sad... I’m so pleased it worked out for you and your baby

yes I was sad! it is the end of a phase, the end of something lovely and cosy and bonding. But don't worry, there are many other lovely and bonding experiences still to come.

I cried for 2 weeks when I stopped feeding my baby. I had ended up pumping and was just exhausted by the lack of support and time it took. Maybe you could mixed feed? I found I was able to latch him on overnight and then formula fed during the day. A portable pump sounds amazing!!

I had to stop at 3 weeks (tiny baby, huge boobs, combination feeding due to tinyness and latching was difficult so she ended up refusing boob for bottle). I was really sad for a few days as I loved feeding her despite the difficulties... but once the hormones had calmed down and I had had a FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP thanks to my husband being able to take her for a night, I could see the upsides. And feeding her was always a joy, whether by breast or by bottle, lots of snuggling and eye contact. So yes, it is very understandable to be sad but you'll find there are lots of upsides and lots of closeness still.

Yes very normal! It's a very emotional thing. Like you the rational part of my brain said it was absolutely fine to stop (little one was 9 months) she was weaning well, had formula at bedtime anyway, I was returning to work soon etc but still found it emotional!

Ultimately you have to do what's best for you as well as the baby. If you'd like to continue it might be worth ringing the national breastfeeding support line (sorry might not have got the name right!) They will be able to give you tips to build your supply back up , or it might be that your supply has settled down which is why you dont get the same full feeling anymore x

Were you given tongue exercises to do with your baby to strengthen their tongue? It took my DS 2-3 weeks to get full mobility and improve efficiency after his tie was cut.

Oh drat, I was hoping that wouldve worked it out for you! I had an nct friend who ended up pumping for ages and then she got him back to breastfeeding at around 4 months. (!!)

I'm sorry it hasnt worked out for you. You sound like a lovely mummy and have a lucky baby.

I’ve been looking at Hakka pumps surely that’s a cheaper idea then you can see if it suits.

@user1471462428

I’ve been looking at Hakka pumps surely that’s a cheaper idea then you can see if it suits.

Hakka isn’t a pump. It just takes off the letdown from when you have a healthy supply. When you stop or reduce breastfeeding (latter happens with a tongue tie) you Need to use a double electric pump to restablish your supply - the Hakka by itself does nothing for supply.

I felt very sad with both DDs.

Very normal: kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/depression-and-weaning/

You may be interested in reading Why Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma Matter by Prof Amy Brown too.

If you wish to try to persevere with breastfeeding and that is the reason you feel sad (because you have not had any help or support, for example) then I would highly recommend the support of La Leche League. My local group is excellent and made such a difference to my own breastfeeding journey. However, please disregard this suggestion if you will be happier formula feeding.

Thank you everyone for the responses, it’s good to know it’s not just me! I will sleep on whether to try to re-establish supply as you’ve made helpful suggestions. I suspect that I’ve come to the end of the line as I’ve devoted so much time and emotional energy already, and with a colicky non-sleeping baby and a toddler I am already struggling, but I’ll have a final think. I think PP who say once I have stopped and got the hormones out of my system I’ll feel better are probably right.

@GrumpyHoonMain yes, we were given the exercises and did them, the latch seemed to improve but then a couple of weeks later in the midst of colic and thrush I gave her a dummy (my own fault as I know this causes nipple confusion but I was desperate). I think this has affected it.

@Lelophants awww thank you

I gave my son a dummy too so he had to drink expressed milk in the early days and slept so deeply he sometimes forgot to breathe. If you want to, you can turn it around by chucking it and giving her the breast for comfort instead. It took him about a week to get the hang of it at 12 weeks - and while we did go through a phase where he wanted to be attached to my breast, he eventually stopped. By 4-5 months we were sorted and I am still breastfeeding him at 8 months.