I need more confidence with driving

[minatoon]

I passed my test 2 years ago exactly and I've never driven out of my home town.

This summer I really wanted to take my dc places.

We were all so excited when I passed my test but I just don't have the confidence to drive far.

I know experience will bring confidence, but how can I bring myself to do it in the first place?

We live 1 hour from the closest beach and I would love to be able to take me and the children there but it just doesn't seem possible to me.

Can anyone offer me any advice?

Think about what worries you then have a couple of lessons to give it a go.

What about going there with a driving instructor the first time?
When I moved to Sydney, I took a couple of driving lessons before tackling the Harbour bridge and tunnels with a zillions lanes with the added bonus of driving on the left (I am French). The first one, I followed instructions, the second time, I told him to stay quiet

Can you do a pass plus type course?

Can somebody (preferably with a licence) sit in the front with you and go to the beach?

I was similar to you, passed my test (small town) and moved to London with a great public transport system.

Anyway, when I finally needed to drive, I just took my car out for little "joy rides" mainly along smaller country roads. Slowly increasing distance and time spentbehindthe wheel... now I love driving!

Pick the easier routes. I avoided motor ways for a long time. Five years in and im ok with them now.

Really good satnav.

What worries you the most?

How about building up to the beach trip in stages? Choose a destination on the route to the beach and familiarise yourself with that part, then gradually extend the distance.

I get nervous on unfamiliar routes but once I’ve done them a few times I feel more confident.

I think it's the motorways that worry me. Not being able to get on and running out of slip road.

Missing my exit and ending up hundreds of miles away.

Being in the wrong lane and getting beeped at.

Tyres blowing.

Breaking down

Crashing.

The thought of having to do it all again to get home

I worry a lot !

I agree with booking a driving instructor to overcome your specific fears.

I found google maps street view for seeing lane choices at major junctions incredibly helpful before starting a journey. I passed my test when I lived in a small town, then I moved to a city with large motorway junctions etc.

Planning the route helps lots and google street view will help you see junctions and turnings. I use google maps on my phone for navigation too.

Is there an A road route you can take to avoid motorways? It might take longer but it could take away some of the stress.

@minatoon

I think it's the motorways that worry me. Not being able to get on and running out of slip road.

Missing my exit and ending up hundreds of miles away.

Being in the wrong lane and getting beeped at.

Tyres blowing.

Breaking down

Crashing.

The thought of having to do it all again to get home

I worry a lot !

Merging on is generally fine as long as you have your speed up. But a couple of hours with an instructor can practise that.

Exits are clearly marked so you shouldn’t, at worst you carry on to the next and come off and turn around. Sat nav will provide an alternative route if you go wrong.

Right lane is easy, you only move out if your overtaking then you move back in.

Tyres/breaking down - as long as you keep your car well maintained and serviced the chances of that happening are slim.

Your probably not going to crash as other people are good at swirving.

Getting on the motor way of a slip road was one of my worst things. I felt I was going to drive off the end of one the first time I went on as seven lorries nose to tail went past as I was approaching. Horrible feeling and I was sweating. I managed to get on right at the last min

What I really should have done was just slow down or stop and waited to get on. That’s never happened to me again though. The majority of motor way users will see you approaching and will move out of the way or let you in.

Book in for a motor way lesson with an instructor, people do after they have past

Tires won’t burst if you have checked them

Get in the right lane to come off motor way 2 miles before your due to come off ( I’ve missed loads of turn offs)

Good satnave will tell you that you need to change lanes well in advance

Don’t worry about people beeping at you - you will never see them again

It's scary at first, but it does get easier. As others have suggested, a couple lessons to look at motorways is good plan but then it will be up to you to push out of comfort zone. Your driving test was a stage on your learning journey not the end.

Set yourself the challenge of beach,but after driving instructor give yourself time on your own without distractions. Do you have recovery like aa or rac? You're unlikely to need it but it makes me feel more confident that if it goes wrong they are phone call away.

@Ohfredcomeon, no, don't slow down or stop on a slip road while joining a motorway, that way you will get crashed into. If you stop, there is not sufficient time for you to accelerate through the gears again to slot in between cars travelling at 70 mph - you could easily get shunted from behind or cause a pile up.
You should signal and accelerate along the slip road to match the speed of the traffic on the motorway, then slot smoothly into the moving traffic. I have never (in over 40 years of countrywide driving) not managed to do this. In fact, the only time you might be slower pulling off the slip is when the motorway is very congested and crawling along, which means cars are often travelling closer together, but the same rule of matching speed applies. Someone will always let you in though.
Don't slow down on a slip either - you will rightly get blasted if anyone is behind you. If motorways are a problem perhaps you should have some lessons on them.

@Lunaballoon

How about building up to the beach trip in stages? Choose a destination on the route to the beach and familiarise yourself with that part, then gradually extend the distance.

I get nervous on unfamiliar routes but once I’ve done them a few times I feel more confident.

This is a great suggestion. And having a good satnav. I use my phone but sometimes it gives instructions too late, particularly if junctions/roundabouts are close together, so I take the wrong turn. Might invest in a proper satnav.

I passed my test in Feb and have been feeling similar to you; especially about slip roads. I live in London which is strangely fine for day to day as its mostly single lane roads and low speed limits. We go up to Norfolk regularly and I have been driving on the motorways more and I am getting the hang of it very slowly.

What I was most worried about was slip roads, but these have been ok in the end, there's usually a gap and people do move to the middle lane to let you on. It's tempting to slow down but I have DH shouting at me not to. I think it's one of those things that's counter intuitive when you first start driving. I was also tempted to slow down when changing lanes as my brain wanted to slow down to do the manoeuvre.

I also have a fear of massive roundabouts with tons of lanes but it's so much better when it's familiar. So if you will go to the beach a lot, you will soon get to know all the bits of the route. If you have someone who's an experienced driver who can sit with you it will probably reassure you.

Oh and good luck! I've been driving for 25 years but I still remember the terror of the early days! The first time I went out after I passed, I did the entire journey with the handbrake on

Definitely invest in a decent satnav. One thing that really helped me was using the satnav on every journey - even if I knew the route or was just driving around town or if I knew which turn off to take on the motorway. I found that if I could absolutely focus on doing the actual driving and didn’t have to think at all about how to get there but could just follow instructions, that made it all much much easier.

You just have to do it, sorry that's not very helpful. I held my licence for about 10 years before I properly started driving, I'd do dry runs, get DH to drive on the motorway, I'd even get him to park it when it looked difficult (hugely embarrassing to look back on!) then we moved out of London to an area with lots of dual carriageways (slip roads were my biggest fear) roundabouts, motorway etc, I got a job that required a lot of driving and that was that, I had to drive all over the place and to unfamiliar places. This was 5 years ago and now I will drive anywhere, I will just put a postcode in the sat nav and drive through any city, no more dry runs with my mum or DH I'm also a pretty nifty parker now after moving somewhere with more difficult parking. Having a small car helped, in those early days of driving around by myself.

It comes with practice, but you really have to push yourself to get out regularly and do it, and the confidence just comes with time.

Getting on the motor way of a slip road was one of my worst things. I felt I was going to drive off the end of one the first time I went on as seven lorries nose to tail went past as I was approaching. Horrible feeling and I was sweating. I managed to get on right at the last min shock

What I really should have done was just slow down or stop and waited to get on. That’s never happened to me again though. The majority of motor way users will see you approaching and will move out of the way or let you in.

Genuine question @Reedwarbler, but what else could @Ohfredcomeon in this situation with seven lorries nose to tail, other than what she said she should have done, ie slow down a bit on the slip road in order to slot in once the lorries had gone past?