Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

At the end of my tether with 6 year olds behaviour

10 replies

Sendmesomethingtohelp · 03/08/2020 11:32

Just turned 6 year old (end of July). Really starting to get on my nerves.

Won’t use the toilet at all. It’s not an infection or anything like that it’s flat out refusal, they keep deliberately peeing and pooing everywhere and then shouting proudly about how they didn’t go to the toilet. I’ve told them that they have to use the toilet and they say they don’t.

Every meal I give them ends up being pushed onto the floor with them declaring the only thing they can possibly eat is chocolate or icecream. They’re starting to lose weight from lack of eating anything.

They’re tired but refuse to sleep. They were still awake at midnight and then no matter what time they go to bed the day starts at 5.45am, 6.15 if I’m lucky. They literally sit playing while rubbing their eyes in their room. Room is completely dark; blackout blind, door shut (I have a video monitor so can see what they’re doing).

It’s got to the point that even the cat looking at them is causing behaviour problems; screaming and crying.

I am exhausted. They’re exhausted but nothing is improving. Timeouts result in me getting bitten as I put them on the timeout spot, I’ve let them choose the menu for food and get told they want icecream or sweets and can’t possibly eat anything else. I’ve tried leaving them to fall asleep in their natural rhythm but they still wake up at 5.45am.

I am on my own with them and get 2 days break a month when they go to their dads for 24 hours. This is new behaviour and completely unlike them, they can be a bit grumpy but usually pretty well behaved, feels grown up using the toilet (and I’d even take them calling me to wipe their bottom over not using it at all) and is generally pretty good. ExH isn’t due to have them again until end of August due to his work schedule.

They went back to school for a half term on 2/6 and school said they were a bit tearful and got a bit overexcited seeing their friends but no bad behaviour.

I don’t know what to do. It’s just me and them at home, my mum will help but will just load them up with sweets rather than anything useful and then they’ll just be twice as bad later. Her class are having a Social Distanced picnic in a few weeks’ time but she doesn’t know about it as no date set in stone due to weather. She’s played with my neighbours children in their garden (I don’t have a garden) and we’ve been to the park where neither I or another childs parent stopped them playing together. But behaviour at home is still bad.

Behaviour started during the 2nd week of the holidays, we’re now in 4th week as school closed early to years R and 1 so all of year 6 could be together.

Is this my life now?

OP posts:
GrannyBags · 03/08/2020 14:04

Have you seen a Dr about the not toileting - so you absolutely know there is no medical cause? Go may also be able to offer advice about the other issues too, or put you in touch with people who can help.

peterpan765 · 03/08/2020 14:09

I would call Gp/ health visitor to get some support

Do they have siblings?

eddiemairswife · 03/08/2020 14:13

How many of them are there?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

MrsSSG · 03/08/2020 14:21

Are they twins or is it just one child?

First things first, the doctor, to rule anything untoward out. And her dad - all ok there?

If all ok, consequences. Naughty step never worked with my DC. They lost things, such as TV time, sweets, days out, toys, etc. Rewards for using the toilet and going to bed. A reward chart works well.

Are they getting enough exercise? You say you don't have a garden. My DC spend at least 6 hours outside running around a day. They need a lot of physical exercise and fresh air. They also need a lot of mental stimulation. Board games, reading, etc.

Sendmesomethingtohelp · 03/08/2020 14:24

Just one child, no siblings.

No garden, we try and get out everyday for an hour or so, I know it's not enough. In none covid times we'd be at play centres or swimming to tire them out.

Everythings ok with ExH as far as I know, although there is no contact between his time with them and I know DC misses him.

DC says there's no pain when going to the toilet and I can't see evidence of an infection, they just say they don't want to use the toilet so aren't going to.

OP posts:
Staplemaple · 03/08/2020 14:27

Cripes, sounds really tough OP. It sounds like it could be a control thing, in that with everything different at the moment, food and using a toilet are some of the only things that he himself has control over. But I would also recommend trying to get some support from a HV or GP, as you cannot go on like this, and by the sounds of it it's not doing him any favours either.

BobbieDraper · 03/08/2020 14:28

OP, you've switched from saying "they" to "she" at the end of your opening post, then gone back to using "they" in the next post.

I assume you're using "they" because you wanted to obscure identity as much as possible so as not to he recognised in real life. Maybe ask mumsnet to edit your first post.

BluebellsGreenbells · 03/08/2020 14:30

You need to reset

Bribery - FS liked a magazine which he could only have in the bathroom - does she have a book she wants? Even if you read it?

Food - place food on the table and sit with her - best to try a picnic tea -somethings she likes - bread eggs ham salad

If she doesn’t eat, say nothing, don’t praise for eating just yet! Just ignore if she’s eating and talk about something else -

Clear away and ignore any pleas for food. Silence.

Same with bed time - put to bed and rerun to room in silence

Your mum - sorry she’s not helping. Either tell her no sweets - ask her to bring strawberries or apples - or she’s not visiting until you’re sorted

BobbieDraper · 03/08/2020 14:30

And have mine deleted to remove the sex from my post too! Sorry. I'm an idiot and didnt think about that.

Digestive28 · 03/08/2020 14:33

You sure they haven’t seen something that scares them? My 6 year old wouldn’t go to the toilet on her own for about three months and we finally found out it was due to a book she had read about monsters. Doesn’t explain it all but may help

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread