Is it normal to hate people?

[octupuskittens]

I'm a 28 year old female, I'm a single mum to a 6 year old girl. I'm not sure if that is relevant.

So I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. I struggled with depression and anxiety after my daughter was born, I'd say within the past two years I have really recovered and although I still suffer from anxiety it is controlled and managed and depression is non existent thankfully.

I have always been awful maintaining romantic relationships but have always prided myself on my strong friendships that I have had for 10 years plus. I consider myself a very laid back person although I have a hot temper when pushed to the limit, once again, not sure this is relevant.

Basically my question is, the past year or so, even though I have been feeling amazing mentally, I really do not enjoy people. It's not just a case of I can't be bothered with certain people, I can't be bothered with anyone after a certain amount of time.

I am fine for an hour or two, anymore than that and I feel agitated, tired and really irritable. This is effecting my friendships as I feel that although I'm still making time for them, I'm making excuses to leave after a certain time. I'm also not talking about nights out in the pub, even if a friend comes over for a coffee after an hour I am screaming in my head for them to leave.

After they leave I really need just quiet time, silence. I find myself making excuses if they ask to see me more than once a week, if I have plans with them I worry as soon as it's planned about how long I'll have to spend with them.

I'm beginning to think I don't enjoy my friends company a bit but that's not it because 2 years ago I could have spent all day with them and still not been fed up.

I have had a lot of self growth within the past year especially and I know I have changed as a person, I love my friends, they are amazing and I am blessed to have them but quite frankly spending time with them seems like a chore.

The only exception to this is my mum and my daughter, that is it, I could spend endless amounts of time with them and not feel exhausted.

In recent years I have also noticed that I find it very uncomfortable making eye contact with certain people and making small talk, unsure of the relevance.

I'm sorry, this was meant to be short.

It’s totally normal, social interaction is exhausting. I love to give parties but I often duck out of them early and go to bed once they’re in the swing as it’s all a bit knackering after a couple of hours.

I hate social media for this reason - people putting the minutiae of their lives online leaves nothing to talk about. I’d rather get the edited highlights once in a while, face to face, than have a constant stream of tedious detail.

I’m the same! Always the extrovert, except I wasn’t. Night out were a chore, I hated any sort of family or social gathering/party.

Always had lots of friends but never been needy or lonely, I love my own company, luckily my dp is the same and my dc are looking to be too, despite both having lots of friends.

Last year I was diagnosed with ADD. It all made sense. My 17yr old ds was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 8, I suspect my dp has it too and my 9yr old dd is being assessed for ADHD.

I’m 42. I love nothing better than to be at home, it’s my safe haven. Bra off, loungewear on and can totally relax. Hate visitors so lockdown has been great!!

I have only recently accepted this is the way I am and I totally embrace it. Lockdown has opened my eyes to the importance of putting your own needs and those of your family first, instead of worrying all the time what others think. Sod em!