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Original poster

What’s it like being a twin?

58 replies

crazychemist · 01/08/2020 14:35

I’m expecting identical twins in Autumn. I don’t know any twins myself (aside from a pair that are 9 months old, so won’t be useful to ask!) and I wondered what it’s like being one?

If you were a twin, is there anything you would have liked your parents to do differently? Wondering if there are common parenting mistakes specific to twins.... obviously will try not to mix them up. I assume it’s annoying if you can’t tell who is who in a photo. Anything else I should think about in advance?

OP posts:

MsEllany · 02/08/2020 01:32

I have identical twin sons so while I don’t know what it’s like to be one, I can say that from an outside view they are just like many other siblings, possibly a bit closer. I’m still surprised when they have very different likes or feelings or anything really! Oddly, twin 1 is closer in personality and temperament to his little brother than his twin. Twin 2 is just like me.

babydisney · 02/08/2020 04:10

My twin brother died at birth so it's OK I guess. I would've loved to have known him but at the same time because I don't remember him in that way it's easier to live a normal, somewhat non disruptive life. It's odd having to tell people I'm a twin but having no twin to show people x

MissSmiley · 02/08/2020 08:08

I have non identical twin boys (13) and my dad was an identical twin, they were very close for their whole lives, being identical is very different. They often did weird twin things because of their connection.

My sons are just like brothers who share the same birthday, we have never told them who's older, just that they were born at the same time, they were in the same class through primary but chose to go to different secondary schools.
As babies we dressed them alike, same clothes different colours mainly and always put them in the same side of the pram or pushchair, they shared a room until this year but they're glad to have their own space now. They have always been treated as the individuals which they are.

Congratulations on your twins

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HoneysuckIejasmine · 02/08/2020 08:33

Also a fraternal twin. Hated being referred to as a pair, especially when our older sister got her own name e.g. "Susan and the twins" which felt very unfair.

At secondary school we were in different halves of the year group and only have classes together in GCSE year - just science and maths. By A level some people still didn't realise we were related. We get on very well now, not so much as kids.

HandsOffMyRights · 02/08/2020 08:43

I have non-identical twin boys who get on very well (14). They look and act very differently but were often referred to as 'the twins' in primary, even though they were in different classes.

They go to to different secondary schools. This upset me at first as I wanted them at the same school, but the less competitive one, although he is also bright, likes not being in the shadow of his competitive very academic brother. They enjoy having their own identities at secondary where they are not "the twins".

Iliketeaagain · 02/08/2020 08:51

I am one of fraternal (both girl) twins. So I suppose I don't know what it's like to not be a twin IYSWIM.

But, when I was growing up I hated being referred to as "the twins". I moved away right after university so I could be independently my own person.

Me and my twin are very different personalities and it still annoys me that we get treated differently. My twin is a crier, more sensitive etc and so whenever there is any issue, she cries and get lots of sympathy (so I must be in the wrong!).

Also, we were made to be in the same class at secondary school (parents choice), because my twin wanted us to be, while I did not.

The one thing I struggle with now, as a parent, is knowing / judging when my dd was allowed out on her own (to meet friends in the park for example), because I never went anywhere on my own until I was about 16/17 as my twin was always with me.

I would say treat them more like you would siblings, unless they chose to dress alike / do things together. Allow them to develop personalities and friendships separately.

Thingthree · 02/08/2020 09:33

Completely this. I really struggled with this when DD was young (like 3 or 4) I felt obliged to play (board games, pretend play, craft) literally all day with her. (To the point I barely did any housework) I had PND and the counsellor asked me if my mum did the same and it was only then I realised that I was feeling guilty that DD didnt have someone to play with all day whereas I always had my twin to do things with.
And I felt guilty when she had to do first day of school/secondary school on her own as I never had to do anything on my own until (late) teen years.

PowerslidePanda · 03/08/2020 15:49

Present wise I give the same thing to all my girls after a disastrous Christmas where I gave different things according to their interests and I had a mass meltdown on my hands.

This is what I'm worried about! Lots of people on this thread have advised not to get twins the same gift, but what if one is then disappointed that what their brother/sister got was "better"? Surely that's even worse?

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