I'm feeling quite stressed about money and wondering if anyone wise can offer some advice? I feel I should preface this by saying I am autistic and have struggled a lot with my mental health over the years as I think it is important for context.
I work part-time and earn enough to live. Besides my student loan which I am not earning enough to pay back, I am not in any debt (for which I am very thankful) but I am constantly stressed about my finances in the future and I fear that any period of sickness for example will be a financial disaster. I keep to a tight budget and I am very careful so I save some money each month but it's really a very small amount so my reserve is not big. I have very few luxuries; I think I have been on holiday once in the last 10 years, I very rarely eat out or buy 'stuff'. I am single in my 30s and rent in a flatshare, despite really preferring my own company, because it means I don't have to work full time. I don't think I will ever be able to afford to buy somewhere and in some ways I have started to make my peace with that but at the same time the unpredictability of renting with others also makes me stressed and I already worry about the financial pressure I will be under when I am too old to work. I don't mind the choices I make in lifestyle at the moment to be able to work part-time and would never complain about not having enough money in the now but this fear that in 40 years' time I will have no money to live on is exhausting.
I've previously worked full time and it's repeatedly ended up in a bad deterioration in my mental health to the point of admission to a psychiatric ward for weeks at a time. For the last 3.5 years I have worked 3 days weekly in a role well within my capabilities and generally this has been far better for my health. For me, being autistic means I just cannot manage more working hours than this sustainably. I seem to need a lot more down time than others do and the people contact of work takes a lot of recovery time for me. I often feel very anxious about work (which is not related to the specific workplace/job, it's just general having to go out to work/speak to people etc. anxiety.) I want to work and earn and contribute to society and I find it hard to accept that my disability makes it hard for me to do that. I also want to be proud of what I have achieved - 5 years ago I don't think anyone thought I would get out of hospital and hold down work for any kind of length of time - but I just feel that what I do is not enough.
I really don't know what (if anything) I can do to stop me being in a dire situation in the future. Do I try and push it again now and find full time work? Or relocate away from support and familiarity that has been a decade in the making somewhere that's cheaper to live? Both options seem so risky. Everyone says that health comes first but ultimately you need money to live, don't you?
(I should also say that while you can never rule anything out I think it is unlikely that I will ever be in a situation of sharing finances with a partner as I have very little interest in meeting someone!)
Help!