Old friends and family all going very right wing

[magicmallow]

I'm a LP and don't have that many friends because socialising is difficult when you can't go out often.

I've always considered myself quite liberal / left wing, I don't agree with everything about the left but on the whole am a very "live and let live" kind of person as far as most things go, anti racist etc.

Several old, and very dear friends seem to be being brainwashed by conservative right wing theory and I find it very destabilising.

Because my social circle is fairly limited it is making me question my beliefs and understanding of the world, particularly as these people are traditionally close to me and make up the majority of my social circle.

For example, parents now pro brexit, dad is pro trump, old friends turning towards anti-feminism, all lives matter, trotting out loads of weird right wing catch phrases (cultural marxism etc), going anti muslim, although they wouldn't term themselves right wing (calling themselves "centrist").

I'm struggling with it a lot.

I try to debate but it seems pointless as they have made up their minds, so I don't try to change their minds.

I do love and care for them but I worry that I will get swept up in their narrative. I try to make new friends but for some reason am not making progress in that department for a number of reasons (lockdown is not helping).

The whole thing is driving me slightly insane to be honest. The polarisation of the world is mad right now. I don't want to turn into a

Any tips? Similar experiences? It's scaring me how intolerant society is becoming. I don't agree with everything "left wing" it all seems very confusing at the moment (esp re. some of the GC issues) but I certainly don't agree with the "all lives matter" sentiment etc. I can't quite believe how a lot of the conservative right wing agenda has permeated the brains of people I love and care about. I am quite sad.

I realise there may be holes in my thoughts above, I apologise for that, I'm not great at expressing my thoughts and I am not particularly au fait with arguments for or against either side, but I am scared and sad about people I love being taken in by what they deem as "normal" viewpoints that I believe are in fact rather extreme.

Op, I am also an Lp without a huge social life. I ran into an old friend, hadn’t see her for 5 years, agreed to go for a drink.

It was awful. Her conversation was like something from a BNP broadcast. I’m not left wing, I voted for Cameron, but I was appalled and so disappointed. She was always lots of fun.
She also had a bee in her bonnet about the “shooting and fishing set” so pretty broad in her bigotry. I haven’t seen her since.

I’m a fairly live and let live type, don’t get upset at much, but it was depressing.

You may consider their views extreme, bit have you thought that they may think your are extreme?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions so why not just leave them alone

I know what you mean OP, my parents seem to have gone like this over the last few years. Is it an age thing I wonder (they're in their eighties now) or were they always like that and have lost their inhibitions? I know dad has always voted Tory, but he was a remainer.

Visited with DD last weekend and was treated to him blaming South Asians for extended lockdown. Caused by 'lack of intelligence' apparently. Yeah dad, ' cos you're such a genius... Followed by DM hissing' ridiculous' at the black players 'taking the knee' at the start of a football match on TV. What would she know about it?

Yet they often say that they're not at all racist, and genuinely believe that. I think they define racist as being a paid up member of the KKK!

All their grandchildren are mixed race...
I just find it depressing and it puts me off wanting to visit.

@magicfarawaytrees Very well said!!!

I used to enjoy political debates with friends. But I just keep my trap shut now. It’s all too vicious.

We've been manipulated (mostly via social media bubbles as someone else pointed out upthread) into an Us-versus-Them mentality to keep us endlessly fighting, point-scoring and fanning the flames of our own sense of self righteous superiority. That much is evident. The fallout is horrible; families and friendships divided and changed and so much hatred from both sides. It makes me really sad.

What is more interesting is WHY this has happened. Is Cummings, Mr Fan of Game Theory really dividing the population and sowing seeds of dissent to make sure we are all busy hating on each other? And if so, why? To keep us distracted from what?
And if it's just randomly happened without us being manipulated into this situation by outside influences (which I seriously doubt) then why? And why now?

For what it's worth, I'm a LP too and have had a few friends go this way, and it makes me sad. It's lonely.

This is an interesting thread. It’s a truism that individuals become more right wing as they get older.

Supposedly the reason being that individuals accumulate more themselves and want to keep it, whereas the left are happy to distribute funds that are not their own personal funds.

So not surprising that your friends are becoming more right wing over time.

I think a bit of a live and let live is always helpful when it comes to maintaining friendships over the years

I know what you mean OP, my parents seem to have gone like this over the last few years. Is it an age thing I wonder (they're in their eighties now) or were they always like that and have lost their inhibitions?

A lot of the current older generation would have been the counter cultural radicals of the 60s when they were young, much to the chagrin of their more conservative parents.

People do just get more conservative generally when they get older but are generally more liberal and radical when younger. Both currently have just lost tolerance in a lot of cases and gone more extreme.

The young have never been as left wing as now (a measure of how let down they feel about the state of things) and the old have never been as conservative (a measure of just how much social change there has been over their life for example).

In the 80s Thatcher had a majority among younger voters, the Tories barely get a vote in the under 25s now but they have such a high majority in the older age groups they don't need them.

I don't think people can infect you with their right wing views.
If other people's views are threatening to you then think carefully about why that is.
Is it because you are not quite so 100% sure of your position and so are adopting an extreme position to give you more certainty?