Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

How often do you see your parents?

51 replies

RhodaCamel · 31/07/2020 08:45

Obviously with lockdown this has been a bit different lately but on average, but I wonder how often do other people go and see their parents?

OP posts:

Aebj · 31/07/2020 12:00

We live in a different country. I last saw my parents in November. It had been a year since I had seen them previously. We haven’t been back to the UK for 4 years, which is when we last saw MIL.
My parents came out normally for 3-4 weeks every year. My MIL has never visited us in 11 years.
We skype every week and I will send emails , with pictures if we do anything cool.
Obviously we can’t visit at the moment but now we will not fly back for some years. Boys are at the tail end of school and exams are now important!!

liklypaddy · 31/07/2020 12:01

I live with my dad and see my mum between 1 and 3 days a week. We're all very close. My toddler massively benefits from it. I lived away from them in an abusive relationship for years. Now I'm close to them I see them all the time and treasure every second.

Wallabyone · 31/07/2020 12:07

I see mine a lot, they live five minutes away, and I enjoy their company, as do my children. It's anything from 2-5 days per week.

Original poster

RhodaCamel · 31/07/2020 15:34

Thanks all. I live just around the corner from my parents we have always been close and I see them about 5 times per week especially now that mum has Alzheimer’s. My sister lives a stones throw away but as she works full time only visits once a week (even though she is home by 5pm and has no children). She has hinted that I should give dad a break by taking mum out twice a week even though I have 2 dc, a part time job and a terminally ill mil! My best friend on the other hand lives a 15 minute drive from her mum but only sees her twice a month, she thinks I see too much of my parents. Oh dear, seems I can’t win either way!

OP posts:

gobananasgo · 31/07/2020 16:02

Mine visit me once a week since I've had my kids. They live an 1 he 20 mins away. I quite enjoyed the break of lockdown, but they seem to of mellowed a bit, so less on my case. Still some lectures on my general life choices and pointing out where I go wrong I did say they didn't need to come once a week post lockdown but they said they enjoy it. We occasionally go there maybe 4 times a year.

My MIL tends not to visit now, she can't be bothered to drive here it takes 45 mins, but cross country. She's getting older and I get that. She used to come once a week too, when I had my first baby. I'm trying to remember if she's been here this year with lockdown. I don't think she visited at all when baby number 2 came, she first met her at a restaurant for a family do. We go to MILs every 3 weeks or so, depends on DHs work. I have never gone to MILs on my own, as the drive isn't pleasant so I'm as bad as her. She moved to a very rural location 5 years ago. It's extreme narrow country roads requiring reversing to a passing place if someone comes the other way.

Flamingolingo · 31/07/2020 16:07

We live a long way from our parents (5 hours from mine, 2.5 hours from PIL). I see mine usually twice a year but actually haven’t for 14 months now thanks to some house moving/renovation chaos, and then lockdown (don’t usually see them over the winter anyway). We see DH’s parents once every 4-6 weeks I suppose. Sometimes longer if there is a feud. We have a car sick child so any journey is fraught, and I don’t like staying there much (no bed in their spare room - have to sleep on floor). We have a bigger house but they don’t like to come that much.

CrockyBetter · 31/07/2020 16:12

I sort of live with my parents. My job takes me all over the country for weeks on end but whenever I'm not working, I live in a caravan on my parents land. There is about 2 acres of land between my caravan and their house but I'll spend most of my time with them when I'm home.

My sister lives close by. My mum does school pick up 3 times a week so my sister sees mum when she collects her kids and maybe every other weekend.

One brother lives 150 miles away but comes to visit once a month for the weekend with his wife and kids. My other brother lives 50 miles away and rarely ever bothers to visit.

Icanflyhigh · 31/07/2020 16:42

See my parents most days, I do work for them though!

coldwarenigma · 31/07/2020 17:10

DM 3 or 4 times a year, get on fine just not a lot in common. DF last seen in 1968
MIL died a few years ago, whole thread worth on that one! DH last saw his DF in 1950

Neither of our fathers stuck around.

liklypaddy · 31/07/2020 21:13

@RhodaCamel just do what works for you. If you see your parents a lot and you enjoy seeing them then carry on!

MacduffsMuff · 31/07/2020 21:17

They're both dead now but when they were still alive it was around 3 times a week. I miss them both very much.

Reader1984 · 31/07/2020 21:18

Lives 2 and a half hours away, so 3-4 times a year.

MondeoFan · 31/07/2020 21:21

Once every 2 months-30 min drive.
They aren't that interested in me really and don't dote on their granddaughters enough in my opinion so my 15 year old isn't fussed about seeing them as no real love there, my 5 year old hasn't seen them since Xmas as I went there just before lockdown and only 15 year old came with me

MondeoFan · 31/07/2020 21:25

@cherrybakewells3

I'd love to have a good relationship with my parents but it just isn't there. Took me until I was about 30 to realise they don't really bother with me that much. What's more hurtful is they have no interest in my children. At that point I knew there was no fixing it

GrimSisters · 31/07/2020 21:38

Rarely. Mine are a 3.5 hour drive away. They live in a beautiful area of the country (the likes of which i could never afford to buy in, despite DH theoretically being able to work from anywhere), yet bugger off to one of their houses abroad for the entirety of the summer holidays. I suppose we see them briefly at Easter, October half term, possibly at Christmas and possibly in Feb half term.
They then complain about not seeing their grandchildren.
Mind you, I was 19 when they pissed off to where they live now - I'd just moved into my own flat (they wrote to render me homeless and support my bid for a council flat) and was earning £200 more a month than the rent. It didn't seem to bother them then much either.
When I was living abroad and trying to escape DV, they never offered to help me move out, despite schlepping their Transit van regularly from UK to holiday home in neighbouring Mediterranean country.
DC1 (favourite) does usually stay with them for a couple of weeks in the summer hols though.

weegiemum · 31/07/2020 21:40

My parents live about 60 miles away and we see them maybe every 6 -8 weeks. It's the closest I've lived to them since I left home 30 years ago and really enjoy their company (as long as we keep off politics!!). Our dc are now old enough to be building their own relationships with them - ds is off fishing with his grandpa next week.

Mil lives a flight/boat away (Ireland) and we see her about 6 times a year, usually she comes to us and gets to see everyone at once which keeps her happy. We always spend Christmas with her as BIL and his family are in Canada and she never gets invited at that time of year. When we do see her she stays for about a week.

FIL is still in Ireland too but we see him less, his Alzheimer's is bad enough now that he doesn't seem to miss dh at all and doesn't recognise me or the children. He gets quite upset when we visit. Dh has always had an aloof, complicated relationship with his dad.

AnotherBiteMe · 31/07/2020 21:54

Too much. Was there 4 times today.

ballsdeep · 31/07/2020 21:54

Every day, sometimes twice a day

daisypond · 31/07/2020 21:57

Maybe twice a year, or three times.

Cam2020 · 31/07/2020 22:04

Usually every other week, but now once or twice a week since lockdown restrictions eased as I'm still working from home. Normally a walk in the park or sitting out in the garden.

Kote · 31/07/2020 22:11

Around 3 times a year on average - they're a 5/6 hour drive away.

We have temporarily moved abroad for the next 2 years so for now it's going to be once a year or less due to the long (and expensive) flight.

vampirethriller · 31/07/2020 22:15

Mother once a year, father maybe once a year but often less.

OneKeyAtATime · 31/07/2020 22:18

2 or 3 times a year. Thankfully we live really far away from them (not just a coincidence)

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 31/07/2020 22:20

Every Sunday for sausage sarnies.

TheSunIsStillShining · 31/07/2020 22:21

We used to live in the next street and could wave to each other for many years. Don't want to even remember how much we were not acting like grown ups. Not healthy.
9 yrs ago we moved 1700km from them (sort of drastic, but they weren't the driving force :)) and our relationship has been as of adults since then. Well, after the first 2 years of them adjusting.

Physically see them: about 3-6 times/year.
But I talk to my mum about every fortnight on the phone.

Flip

1 2 3