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Original poster

Should my children to go abroad with their Dad?

37 replies

sailingmummy · 30/07/2020 22:35

Hi, My ex husband has a holiday to France for him, his new partner and our children booked. It was booked long before the Covid outbreak. It is for the last week of the summer holidays and they are all looking forward to it....they've only seen him three times since March as he lives three hours away.

I'm not sure whether they should go though as if the UK suddenly decides that tourists returning from France have to isolate (like with Spain currently) the children (12 and 14) will miss the first two weeks of school and I would have to as well as they live with me - which being a teacher will not go down well at my own school :/

They can't return from France and isolate with their Dad as he lives in a very small house with no space for two children.
Would you take the risk and let them go or ask their Dad to cancel? It's so hard working out the likelihood of a quarantine being imposed....

Thank you!

OP posts:
Gohackyourself · 31/07/2020 07:41

No I would not let them travel.

YgritteSnow · 31/07/2020 07:42

No. Things are just too uncertain. I really wouldn't allow this.

jamaisjedors · 31/07/2020 07:44

Only of he is prepared to quarantine with them ( ie sleep on the sofa), surely it's possible even if not super big?

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Ifmusicbethefoodoflove · 31/07/2020 07:45

Have you asked their dad what he will do if there is a quarantine rule in place. If he wants to take them then that it his problem to solve not yours.

All in all I’d let them go though. Life has been crappy enough as it is this year; I’d risk it.

Cherrybakewellard · 31/07/2020 07:47

I think you jus have to have the conversation with their dad and ask him what he thinks will happen if the situation occurs.

MrsWhites · 31/07/2020 07:50

No absolutely not, especially since he is not able to take responsibility for the potential quarantine.

HeyBlaby · 31/07/2020 07:50

You don't have to isolate if quarantine rules are brought in for France, just them.

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 31/07/2020 07:50

Let him sort out the quarantine issue. But yes id let them go if he has a solution for that.

StrawberryCloud · 31/07/2020 07:57

I wouldn't have an issue with the trip itself however potential quarantine would make me say no. Apart from your own work issues with it (totally unreasonable for him to expect you to be responsible for the children quarantining, and I'm sure you don't want another fortnight away from them even if they quarantined with their Dad) I think schools have been carefully planning the transition back after such a long time so those those first few weeks of school are going to be more important than ever.

For example at my DS's school they are spending a week with the class teacher they had before lockdown, and spending a bit of transition time with their new teacher before being placed in the class they'll be in this academic year. I think these sort of things will be valuable.

AriettyHomily · 31/07/2020 08:04

No, only because of the SI potential. Can they SI with him?

Dh is a teacher and the have been told they will not get paid if they are in SI due to being abroad. I would check the ramifications it could have on you.

I'd have no issue with the holiday if it had been earlier.

Boringnamechanging · 31/07/2020 08:07

Only if they could self isolate with him.

GCAcademic · 31/07/2020 08:08

If he can quarantine with them, fine. If not, then no.

Sidewinder30 · 31/07/2020 08:09

Only if the dc can quarantine with him. Otherwise, no holiday in France.

QuestionMarkNow · 31/07/2020 08:17

I am doing exactly that with my own kids.....

I would be letting them go with the understanding that if they need to self isolate, your ex has to deal with it. Small house or not (surely they must be staying at his at least some of the time?)

Fairybio · 31/07/2020 08:22

I agree with others. If he takes them, they quarantine with him. There may be an issue of fines for missing school if the quarantine happens within the school term.

You wouldn't have to quarantine with them, whatever happens.

Original poster
sailingmummy · 31/07/2020 08:24

They wouldn't be able to isolate at his ....they've never even been there. He Normally takes them to his Mum's and they see each other there.....it's a weird situation :(

OP posts:
Bitchinkitchen · 31/07/2020 08:28

If theyve never stayed at his house why on earth is he taking them abroad!? I would absolutely not be comfortable with that

MrsCrosbyNRTB · 31/07/2020 08:30

no

GreyishDays · 31/07/2020 08:36

You might not have to isolate with them, but equally you can’t go to work and leave them at home on their own, Heyblaby

Fairybio · 31/07/2020 08:36

In which case, they shouldn't go. Can't he take them somewhere in the UK?

Apolloanddaphne · 31/07/2020 08:36

You need to talk this through with him and the DC to go over contingency plans should they go and then have to quarantine. It is possible the DC might refuse to go if they know there is a chance they might miss the start of school.

I am assuming they stay at his mum's when he has them? Would she want them quaranting there?

Just talk to him.

HeyBlaby · 31/07/2020 08:37

@GreyishDays they're 12 and 14 Confused

sillysmiles · 31/07/2020 08:43

@sailingmummy

They wouldn't be able to isolate at his ....they've never even been there. He Normally takes them to his Mum's and they see each other there.....it's a weird situation :(
But that isn't your problem to solve. Your DC are old enough to have a conversation with too. If the rules change and they have to quarantine then they have to sort it out, not in your home. That needs to be the conversation. If that means the kids need to suck it up at his house is a gamble they need to be prepared to take.
Commentutappelles · 31/07/2020 08:47

Unless there is about to be a huge drip feed, you can have the discussion with him, but I'm not sure you can refuse to let them go. If they needed to be quarantined, it would be his problem to sort out. But assuming there is no court ordered reason why he cannot have them, he is entitled to take them on holiday in the time he has with them - the wisdom of doing so is debatable, but if he has parental responsibility, he would be entitled to do so.

rookiemere · 31/07/2020 08:47

No I wouldn't let DCs of that age go because of the potential of missing two weeks of school. They've missed enough already and will miss more if there are closures during the term.

I'd tell EXH that it's totally dependent on the quarantine situation at time of departure, so even if there isn't one in place, but it looks likely to be introduced, then they don't go.

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