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Original poster

People who are late

27 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 14:20

Do they actually realise you’ve planned your day around the time agreed?

It’s so frustrating to waste a day waiting on late people, especially those who fail to let you know in advance that they will be late.

DD’s friend is due here. They could only do a short window which is fine, dd has been looking forward to it. We didn’t make any other plans today so they could play freely. I’m a childminder so we are usually out and about a lot.

They are now almost an hour late. They confirmed this morning so who knows what’s going on.

They aren’t unusual in this behaviour but I don’t tend to make plans with flaky people so this will probably be a first and last play date until Dd is old enough to make her own plans which is a shame but I hate wasted days and I just think it’s rude.

Is anyone here a habitually late person? What happens?

OP posts:
WhattheHhashappened · 30/07/2020 14:22

I hate people who turn up late with no word.

I would assume they’re not coming and go out after an hour OP.

HansBanans · 30/07/2020 14:23

This drives me up the wall! I'd just go out, if they turn up and you aren't there tell them you assumed they weren't coming anymore so you made other plans.

Afonavon · 30/07/2020 14:24

I hate people being late. To me it is a message that I am not important enough to that person. It is rude and annoying and spoils the time I spend with them when they eventually show up.

FlibbertyGiblets · 30/07/2020 14:26

Your poor daughter, the people are really mean to be so late.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 14:28

Problem is that’s it’s now too late to do anything. I have to be back around 330/4pm to start dinner and get the little ones ready for home time.

OP posts:
jammyjoey · 30/07/2020 14:29

Yes my DH has recently started being late for little things and it annoys me so much, its not even to meet me but if im in the house ill tell him the time and that he's going to be late just because i hate being late myself. I think its really rude!

Tunnocksmallow · 30/07/2020 14:31

As somebody who comes from a family who are always late, I hate it. Even now my mum and brother are always at least 30 minutes late for everything. I am always 30 minutes early! It feeds my anxiety, it’s just rude and causes ill feeling.

LivingMyBestLife2020 · 30/07/2020 14:39

I absolutely despise it! It’s so rude. My ex was/is diabolical. He will arrange to pick up our son at 10 and it will be 11.30 before he shows. He missed our 20 week scan because he was late. He missed an important family occasion because he was late. It is infuriating and disrespectful.

I’m seeing a new man now and his time keeping is exceptionally. He always arrives on time and it feels wonderful

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/07/2020 14:39

Text them. Tell them that!

See what they say!

MN has 2 kinds of people on these threads usually.

Those who think constant lateness is a sign of contempt: those who are habitually late don't really consider you as a person with a life independent of yours.

Those who think that if you were a good friend then you would wait until hell freezes over and are being incredibly judgemental, who knows they could have died, their phone may be somewhere, they will bethere when they can dammit!

I don't understand the second set of people. I tend to avoid them once I have identified them! They can be late on their own!

DillonPanthersTexas · 30/07/2020 14:42

They just don't value your time.

They can catch flights and arrive on time for dental appointments. Because that is important....to them, you are not.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 14:48

Well they aren’t my friends so it’s not really something I do have to accept in exchange for a lovely friendship. But it is my dd’s friend and it’s not her (or the friend’s fault). They will soon be old enough to conduct their own social lives thank goodness.

And it’s not always friendships this happens in. As I said I’m a Cm and when conducting first meetings, of a family is late with no communication then it presents a very poor first impression and this would be taking in to consideration before offering them a space. As I’m sure they judge me on my conduct.

OP posts:
FilledSoda · 30/07/2020 14:48

I'd have to text, maybe something along the lines of ' I take it something has cropped up , maybe another time'.
I couldn't go along with it as though it was fine . An hour is very late indeed and as you say it's now too late to do anything anyway .
I'd be furious to be honest .

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 14:51

She’s just arrived! Was her auntie that dropped off 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Scrumpyjacks · 30/07/2020 14:51

Cannot stand lateness. After an hour I would be boiling up with frustration. I'd have to message them along the lines if "we did say 2pm, right?"

Scrumpyjacks · 30/07/2020 14:52

Cross Post.
I'd have to text the mum and say something about that. People can't just assume you'll be about an hour after agreed.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 30/07/2020 15:00

Did she say anything? That seems incredibly rude!

And it’s not always friendships this happens in. Oh, I know that. But previous threads abut lateness have sort of devolved into "You are a shit friend" if you object to lateness, even if, as you say, it isn't always with a friendship. Your post doesn't seem to have attracted any, which I find odd, but if you do be prepared Smile

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 15:02

No she didn’t say anything. I bit my tongue because the girls were excited to see each other and I didn’t want to embarrass either of them. I’ll just quietly not arrange again.

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 30/07/2020 15:09

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

No she didn’t say anything. I bit my tongue because the girls were excited to see each other and I didn’t want to embarrass either of them. I’ll just quietly not arrange again.
You're right OP. People like this go straight into my 'flake bin'.
WhattheHhashappened · 30/07/2020 15:13

So the person who was late was a child?
If her Auntie ended up dropping her off maybe there were transport problems? Should have texted though.

FilledSoda · 30/07/2020 15:16

I suppose the auntie might have been oblivious.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/07/2020 15:21

The girls are 12 and I think she was staying with her auntie for childcare today. I’m dropping her back to auntie’s house in a little while as dad collects from there on his commute home. I didn’t know any of this until drop off.

OP posts:
FilledSoda · 30/07/2020 15:34

Omg it gets worse !
Do you even have time to drop off ?
Absolute CFs.
Was the child aware this was the first you'd heard of it ?
Why can't the Aunt collect ?

Duemarch2021 · 30/07/2020 15:42

Wow, rude...are you not busy enough as it is with your children that you childmind?! Xx

Sonmi451 · 31/07/2020 09:07

It is rude! I once had a friend due to arrive at 10am. At 11am she text to say they were running late, it would be closer to 12 when they arrived. At 12.30 she text again apologising and saying she'd be another couple of hours yet. At 3pm, having waited in all day, I asked her if perhaps she'd like to rearrange for another day. She said yes, but I never did rearrange.

I got the "you're a terrible friend, you don't know what she was dealing with!" response.

Tadpolesandfroglets · 31/07/2020 09:09

I have two sets of friends who are always late. Drives me bonkers. Make a massive joke about it every time but they don’t seem to care. Personally I think it’s the height of rudeness.