My weight is getting out of control and I don't know why

[Greenpestopasta]

I have put on almost 3 stone since having my toddler, and I can't seem to shift it. The last stone has been due to lockdown. I am now almost 13 stone at a height of 5'5.

On Friday and Saturday nights I would usually have a bag of m&ms, a bowl of crisps, and a few glasses of wine with DH. I have drastically cut this down in recent weeks. We cook from scratch but portion sizes are too large, again over the past month I have addressed this. I have cut down on carbs. I am on my feet all day because my toddler is extremely energetic. We go for at least one walk, often two, and the rest of the time we are in the park or garden. Weekends are usually long walks at forest parks.

Yesterday was a typical day- I had coffee for breakfast (can't eat breakfast any more due to hyperemesis in pregnancy) an egg salad sandwich for lunch on 50 50 bread, chopped apple and kiwi as a snack, a small slice of homemade sponge cake as a friend came round (fitted in a bun case) then for dinner a small bowl of warm potato salad (maybe 6 baby potatoes) a pile of spinach and three bbq ribs. The night before I had a bowl of tuna pasta in a sauce I made myself, crackers cheese and fruit for lunch, and a fun sized crunchie that DH brought home from work. Today I will have a bowl of homemade tomato soup for lunch, and a bowl of seafood chowder for dinner - everyone else will have bread but I won't. I may have a few crackers with olive spread.

I weighed myself again this morning and I have put on two pounds.

I am still breastfeeding my toddler before bed and sometimes before naps, and I have endometriosis - is it possible this is a hormonal issue? I do understand that my portion sizes and evening chocolate habit were an issue, but as I say I've addressed that, and as someone who is in their late 20s and fairly active, I'm not sure why I'm gaining weight so quickly

It does sound strange to me as your diet sounds absolutely fine to me. Maybe have a check up at the doctor to check your thyroid. Would you have time to do more exercise? I got myself a skipping rope and try to do 10 mins a day which I can fit in even with work and my DD who is 10 months.

It's hard losing weight when you are in charge of a little one and can't skip meals or go for a run easily.

You need to track calories for 2 weeks, every drink, every bite, to see where the calorie imbalance is occurring. Do you drink sweet tea? Do you have a small nibble of cheese when you wake up with your baby? Do you weigh your portions? Do so, and enter it all into myfitnesspal or Loseit app. Stuff like tuna pasta and potato salad can be really calorific, depending on the ingredients (esp. the sauce) and the portion size.

I'd knock the unfilling "treat" stuff like cake on the head. It's an easy way to eradicate empty cals.

Eating based on CICO (calories in must be fewer than calories out, i.e. eat less, burn more) is boring but effective.

Agree that you should track everything you eat for a couple of weeks - absolutely everything - milk in tea, etc.

And do you drink lots of water? It helps with weight loss and water retention. At least 2 litres of plain water a day, on top of other drinks.

There is a difference between that draining being on your feet all day and getting in quality exercise that builds mucle which boosts your metabolism and burns energy more efficiently.

You have made positive changes and cut back, but it still sounds like "normal portions" rather than weightloss. Potato salad can be quite calorie dense for example. Smaller plates are an easy way to cut down without feeling deprived.

Look up your TDEE, the amount of calories you need to burn to sustain your weight at your current weight and height. You then need to cut back a little under this.
Use an app like My Fitness Pal to honestly input what you eat and drink at the actual quanity to get the intake down to the appropriate level. Quanity is very important. It is tedious at first, but the app remembers what you've put in so it does get easier with time.

Build in some exercise. That does not mean two hours down the gym. There are lots of apps and youtube videos that are 7-20 minutes long that are more practical for life with a small child.

You don't have to change everything at once. Make a gradual lifestyle change and phase one change at a time to keep it steady and sustainable.

If your current changes are just plateauing you where you are at, then a bit more change will be needed to see losses.

Tbh your diet yesterday sounded a bit calorie heavy - egg sandwich for example - bread approx 110kc a slice, plus eggs and mayonnaise could add up to 350. Plus the small slice of cake will actually be about 250 - cake is very heavy on calories! Again, pot salad can be very calorific as it is made with mayo.
I recommend using something like my fitness pal app and logging EVERYTHING. Weigh it too. It will give you an idea of what everything actually contains.

It all depends when you cut out the junk. If fairly recently, don’t expect big changes. I would say cut out alcohol and sugar completely till you are back to your normal weight, then you can reintroduce them but in moderation. Eat more protein too.
Eating a bag of m&ms, a bowl of crisps and a couple of glasses of wine sounds horrible. If you did this for years don’t be surprised you ballooned up.
Overweight people tend to underestimate how much they eat btw.

As PP said you need to track your calories and portion sizes to be fully aware of what you’re consuming.

Agree with another poster about ‘being on your feet’ all day’ won’t be burning as many calories as you think. I have a 9 and 6 year old and they are active - think 10 miles bike rides and 5k runs - but even when I go out with them I won’t be working an the intensity I need to have a work out.

I’m 5ft 7 and 9 stone. Here’s a rough guide what I eat in a day:

• breakfast 2 x weetabix, no sugar and semi skimmed milk

-apple for mid morning snack -lunch chicken salad, no dressing -mid afternoon snack apple or banana -dinner a protein with vegetables, no carbs -supper a cereal bar

I also run at least 10k 4 x a week.

I’m 41 so have to be quite strict as my metabolism isn’t what is was. Cutting out carbs really helped me to control my weight and I also found I looked slimmer as was less bloated.

I hope this doesn’t sound ‘preachy’. I used to weigh 15 stone and lost 6 stone in a year by making small changes. At one point I couldn’t run for more than a minute, now I run half marathons. Set yourself little achievable goals. You can do it!

Your food isn't very healthy. Bbq sauce for your bbq ribs is full of calories, egg salad, potato salad, seafood chowder is all creamy and full of calories.

Try a lean chicken breast with cajun seasoning and steamed greens for tea.

My weight always spirals upwards pretty much regardless of what I eat (but much more quickly if I eat a lot of sugar), unless I do quite a lot of exercise. Things like body pump, body attack or 5km runs maybe five times a week. Otherwise my metabolism seems to grind to a halt.

I know a lot of people say it's 80% diet but without decent levels of exercise it's just a big miserable fight with food for me. With enough exercise, my set weight seems to drop and my appetite regulates.

I know it's hard to fit in if you're in charge of a small child though.

Weight fluctuates through the day.
Make sure you weigh yourself at the same time each day. Usually first thing at night or the morning.
The food you have documented is fine.

I agree that you don’t sound like you’re eating much but you have too much of the wrong things. Ribs are fatty, was there sauce on them? Was their mayonnaise on your sandwich and butter on your bread?
You could probably eat a lot, lot more if you are differently. So cut carbs and fat and up protein, eggs, fruit and veg

What you eat- sounds calorific, so portion sizes might be good but calorie dense. I wouldn’t have cake AND potato salad AND pasta bake in the same couple of days.

Things with sauces- calorific
Pasta- see above
Fatty meats (ribs)- same thing.

Having a big heavy meal now and again is fine. But not all the time.

Forget reduce calories spreads, low cal this or that. Eat real food and less of it. Processed food isn’t brilliant either.

Today-
Green smoothie
Smoked salmon on sourdough with a green salad
Steak and green beans
I’ve done a kettles class this morning and am going for a surf lesson later (not typical!)

No snacks. No booze.

However if you’re breastfeeding then I wouldn’t be too worried about being super strict. I was a size 12 till my last child was 18m and then I went nuts and went on quite an intense fitness/nutrition kick which is now my new normal.

motherrunner you are a very strong willed.

There are still an awful lot of carbs in your diet.

Creamy sauces, unless made by you with cream, are high in carbs; bbq sauce is high in carbs. Obviously, potatoes, pasta and sandwiches are high in carbs. As are crackers and fruit.

Your diet is high in fat and carbs which is likely to be the problem.

On an average day I eat something along the lines of...

B - Coffee with double cream. Also have scrambled eggs (2 eggs and 25g real butter) and 50g smoked salmon if I'm not having lunch.

L - salad with small amount of protein or none, depending on breakfast. Eg leaves, cucumber, spring onion, radishes, cherry tomatoes and fried avocado all dressed in light olive oil and apple cider vinegar (and half a tin of tuna in olive oil)

D - steamed broccoli, cauliflower, fried asparagus, and protein - eg roast chicken thigh with the skin on/pork belly inc fat/pan fried salmon.

S - 6 blueberries/raspberries in double cream

I eat around 1500-1800 calories a day. I've lost a couple of stone eating this way.

Thanks. I have tracked before, just after Christmas I did it strictly for two months, and I lost a grand total of two pounds.

I can also go up or down 8lb during my period, so I know I am very bloated.

I don't eat bread very much, a sandwich will be once a week, rather than a daily occurrence, and I'll maybe have a bit of baguette if we have soup or something, but it probably is too much for me if I'm prone to bloating and also eating other carbs. We do eat soups, vegetable stews, stir frys and salads a lot,it's not all chowder and bbq ribs. I suppose I thought that the odd meal that was more calorific wouldn't make so much of a difference, but obviously it has

I find it really difficult to find time to exercise, my husband works 12 hours a day, we are miles from a gym, and there is nobody to take the toddler for me. I work too. Walking, hiking and biking was my main form of exercise pre baby, I am currently getting my bike fixed so I can put a toddler seat on- hopefully long family bike rides will make a difference

I can't run for toffee, it makes me throw up. Even when I was 8 stone soaking wet and cycling 30 miles a week as a student I couldn't run without chucking up after five minutes

We often go on 10k walks with the toddler in the sling and our daily walk is just under 3 miles.

I had my thyroid checked recently enough and it seemd fine.

I think I just need to accept that I must have a much slower metabolism post baby and need to severely restrict things like carbs, sugar as a result

@bluebell34567 I guess I am, bit of a control freak 😆 I do have desserts and drink wine but only if I go out which isn’t often with 2 kids! Also helps I’m married to a PE teacher who runs ultra marathons and plays a lot of sport!

@Greenpestopasta Not to sound patronising but educate yourself on nutrition, there’s lot of info out there. Our bodies are just machines and it’s fascinating (well to me!) What helps to fuel them. As I said little changed. Up your walk by a mile a day. Walking is great! I am prone to injury as have scolios so when I can’t run I walk loads. How many hot drinks do you have? Those can add a lot of calories especially if having with milk and sugar each time.

Don’t be down on yourself. As soon as you start losing a few pounds it’ll give you the encouragement to carry on!

I dont donanybexercise at all since lockdown started and not a huge amount before that. I walk a lot but nothing that would support weightloss.

A lot ofnthebweight associated with eating cars is water retention and bloating. If that is an issue for you then that's what I'd be addressing.

Remember all carbs are converted into glucose for the body to use. Not just sugar. Eating carbs produces an insulin spike. It's this that fucks about with your metabolism and hormones etc.

Since I went low carb and started eating clean food, my weight and health has never been better.

I recently lost a stone with little to no effort when I stopped breastfeeding. I know some people find it helps them lose weight, but I was the opposite. Lactation needs fat stores, and that's fine.

How are you (and the little one) sleeping? I also found my weight dropped a lot when I stopped doing night wake ups. "Why We Sleep" is a great book, and has a lot to say about lack of sleep causing weight gain. It's extremely hard to lose weight unless you're sleeping well (8+ hours a night).

Don't be hard on yourself! Your body has gone through a lot of changes in routine.

Definitely not sleeping as well as I'd like, toddler still cosleeping but is an early riser and often wakes at night. I did wonder about breastfeeding as well

@Greenpestopasta you need to weigh and track your food on MFP as previous posters are saying.

It’s very likely you are still eating too much and that’s why you’re gaining weight. Sounds like it’s the quantity of carbs etc rather than what you’re eating (that sounds relatively healthy).

On My Fitness Pal you can see the nutrients you’re eating each day too. Really helps me with iron/fibre levels too.

I found it really hard to lose weight while breastfeeding. And I also have big weight fluctuations which I think must be hormonal. I am losing weight very slowly now following WW plan (i'm on the green one) and it is working, but I have found I really need to just focus on looking at the scales each month rather than each week! I'm averaging a pound a week loss, but some weeks it is jut a tiny loss and some weeks a tiny gain, but overall there is a very definite downward trajectory and I now only have 1 stone to lose to get to where I want to be (I know it's going to take me some time though!).

To start with I was really frustrated by losing weight so slowly, but actually, I now think it the right way for me. Because it is really changing habits and I am hoping that if it comes off slowly it won't suddenly pile back on - particularly if I stick to the new healthy habits!

I have found tacking my food on the WW app really helpful as it has made me reevaluate portion sizes and also work out what is worth spending points on and what not. Basically I have learnt what I want to keep in my diet and what I am happy to cut back on or remove completely to get the right balance.

So, now, an average day for me is:

B - scrambled egg with tomatoes and a coffee
L - salad with prawns or tuna and either a spoon of mayo or a spoon of dressing
D - Fish or chicken or turkey with vegetables and small portion of new potatoes or couscous or rice or noodles

snacks - fruit, veg, yoghurt (but not a sugary one)

Then, the occasional glass of wine or ice cream or spoon of nutella on my strawberries, but no more than twice a week.

I'm in my 40s, 5ft4 and currently 11stone (down from 12 stone and aiming for 10!). I add in exercise as well - aerobics, kettles or pilates 3 mornings a week and walking every day. I don't feel like the exercise is making much difference to my weight, but it does make me feel good and I am stronger and fitter than I would be otherwise!

Agree with @ILoveStickers Breastfeeding didn’t affect my weight so can’t comment but sleep, yes. It’s well documented that people who shift work are prone to be heavy than people with a regular sleep pattern. My DS was a terrible sleeper til the age of 4. Try to eat ‘little and often’ at regular times to maintain your energy.

Keep motivated - there are plenty of supporters on MN!

Logging it in myfitnesspal and weighing the food is key. You might still be eating way more calories than you think. Look up your TDEE as well to see how much you should be eating to lose weight consistently.

If it still doesnt work - worth having your thyroid checked.

2lbs weight fluctuation is nothing btw, that can be salt, water intake, hormones etc. Maybe use a weight tracker that shows you the trend instead of individual weights as there's bound to be lots of fluctuations on a daily basis.

When you tracked strictly before, what was the tracking saying was your daily calorie intake? If you wear a fitness tracker, what did the fitness tracker say you burnt?

fwiw, being on feet all day makes me burn a lot of calories. Something in your story doesn't add up & it's probably hidden calories. -I've watched too many episodes of Secret Eaters.

There's loads of fitness classes on youtube, I've been doing that during lockdown which is a good alternative to the gym and cheaper as well, is that something that would be feasible for you?

A lot of people also swear by low carbing for shifting stubborn poundage, there's a bootcamp thread on here in the diets section.