Would it be a bad idea to go part time? Need advice

[mouini]

Okay so I've NC'd for this as it's specific. The backstory is I'm married but DH can't work, receives standard PIP but not DLA (was rejected). We asked for it to be reconsidered, it was but rejected and then we were told to appeal. We were too worried he'd lose the money he gets so we didn't risk it. We have two DC, 3&1. I work 35 hours a week for not much more than minimum wage but we live rurally in Scotland (from here) and full-time, contracted jobs are really rare. We drive but nowhere near here. We can't move for another few years for various reasons, mainly support. I was off sick in Feb (mental health) and still suffer from it and it's impacting me mentally to my breaking point. I feel like a crap mum because I'm exhausted when I get in as I'm moving about all day and on my days off, I'm totally drained so my kids don't get the best of me. We've discussed tonight the possibility of me going down to four days (which is allowed) but I didn't know the impact that would have for a few things. Nursery for Dc1 eligibility and when DC2 was 3, would I have to find a full time job? I was furloughed but been back a few weeks. The truth of it is, I feel like I'm going over the edge. It's been building up for months and it's reaching breaking point for me, personally for other reasons too. I don't think I'd have the option to go back to five days if I change my mind. Please can someone give me any advice?

I am fully prepared to be flamed for the thread, I don't know how some people will interpret it but I don't mind, I just need advice

I'd consider appealing. Maybe speak to citizens advice?

Mental health is more important but you need to know the impact so you can decide/plan, so find out what you need to know first.

Thanks @PandaGreen for replying I just think, money doesn't buy happiness and in this case, I'm unhappy with more money than what I'd be without that one day a week's worth. I think it will immensely boost my mental health and make me a much better mother when I'm off. I just need to find out logistically if it's a good idea and I'm worried it isn't

You cannot get PIP and DLA together so I'm not sure what there is to appeal ? PIP replaced DLA.

Do you get tax credits or Universal credit ? On UC you could still get a carers element without claiming carers allowance and your husband may get an extra element for being unable to work. You would not have any work commitments as a carer so could drop to four days without any consequences. I don't think anyone would judge you for dropping days whilst caring for a disabled partner and two young children, it sounds very hard. Is your husband able to help with the kids and housework etc?

Hi @Babyroobs , thanks for the response. Yes, DH can look after the kids for a bit but really struggles to do a full day, family have to come over and help most of the days I'm working. He does feed them, change DC1 etc but physically getting up and down all day (which you do a lot with babies and toddlers) is very hard for him. Also, he gets exhausted because of his condition. So it's not like he can't do anything at all, he can but not all day, he just can't. An extra day off means I can be there so family help less. Sorry, I didn't mean DLA, I meant LCWRA, he got denied that and LCA (I think). So the government have said he isn't unable to work (he is though), that's what I meant, not DLA).

And we get UC.

@mouini

And we get UC.

Do you get the carers element of UC on your claim? You can claim that even if you earn too much to claim carers allowance.

Is there a citizens advice bureau you could go to for some advice? It sounds you could do with a breakdown of all benefits and support you may be entitled to and some calculations to see what you would be on if you were to go down a day.

Your local authority should have a team that can help you maximise your income by making sure you’re claiming everything your entitled to. You don’t need to be involved with social work etc (although you could ask them to do an assessment for support for your husband), where I am it would be the Welfare Rights team, they may be called something else where you are but they could help you work out how dropping a day would impact you. Your social work team and/or midwife can also access supported nursery placements for both children to give you some breathing space given your partners disability.

Hi, I was/am in a similar situation without going into too much detail I basically changed my whole job and found something else that went from 40 hours over any 5 from 7 days to a job working roughly 30 hours any 5 over 6 days but with a higher rate of pay and better hours allowing me to be at home more with the kids. At the time my husband was really struggling but fortunately he is on a good medication mix and is much more mobile just now, although how long it last is unknown.

My husband gets pip and we get tax credits so I'm unsure about the UC system but I know we got help to pay for childcare from tax credits when the kids were at a childminder. You might want to ask your health visitor for some advice as they were a great help to me and in some cases you might be able to access childcare from 2 years rather that 3 due to your oh medical needs. It's not easy remember you have to look after yourself too!

What money did you think you would lose if you appealed the one you didn't get? (I am assuming ESA). They are all done separately so it shouldn't affect his PIP. I would either appeal if it isn't too late, or put a new claim in. Many people win at appeal, being turned down initially can just be part of the process unfortunately. The government want you to respond as you did - just give up. But you are entitled so should see it through. Appeals / tribunals are done by a separate body and don't have any reason to turn you down if you meet the criteria.

@mouini

Are you claiming all your benefits/allowances?

www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

https://www.gov.uk/apply-council-tax-reductionn_

www.entitledto.co.uk or

Contact your local Citizens Advice

Hi @Happynow001 , we are claiming everything we can, it would seem if I dropped a day, that UC would make up the wages (I entered my details into Entitledto if I were to drop a day and the UC was higher). Would that be correct if they say it is?

@earlydoors42 I can't remember now, I think I got confused. H has mobility problems so we appealed that so that he could get the mobility part of PIP but he scored 0 for that and if we appealed it and they reassessed him, he ran the risk of losing standard PIP so that's why we didn't appeal that. He did also apply for LCWRA, again appealed and was rejected.

I can't advise on on UC @mouini - maybe someone else more qualified on here can, or you might want to call a YC Adviser on 0800 328 5644 - or speak to Citizens Advice if not already done.

Also have you checked (sorry if you have) about the Marriage Allowance? This allows the lower earner to transfer part of their annual personal tax allowance to the higher earner, supposing the higher earns

Sorry UC - not TC.

Blast. UC. (I need to eat -- low blood sugar..)