How can I cope with this?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

Hi everyone

I'd like to be clear and say that I know many have it worse. I'm just utterly stressed and I dont know how to cope.

Since March DH has been on a massive project. 7 days a week, often til the wee hours. I've worked part time (teacher) and looked after DS (nearly 2).

We were due to have some.renovations done on our house in June - we would have house sat for some friends who were going on hol. Obviously this didnt happen and instead the builders have started this week. The kitchen and dining room are basically out of bounds.

DS cries. A lot. Not when we are out but in the house, the tantrums are epic. We usually watch half an hour of Duggee after dinner but at the moment I get screamed at and slapped when we turn it off. He was a nightmare this morning - he was knackered after waking at 5.30.

I'm also 30 weeks pregnant.

I'm tired, hormonal, feel like a failure as a parent, the house is a state, DH and I had a row this morning over nothing.

I'm not coping. Any tips on how to make any of this better?

Anyone?

That sounds rough. Have you told your husband how you feel? Could he pick up some of the slack?

He's doing as much as he can 2bh.

Move out. You can’t live in a building site with small kids - I know from experience! It’s a stressful time and very testing for a couple let alone being pregnant with a toddler. Can you go stay with family or rent somewhere? We thought we could live through it but there were constant delays and I got so stressed. Moving out was the best option despite the costs.

Just re the screen time - I heard someone on a parenting podcast described how they’d experimented with the screen time limit until they’d found the ‘golden amount’ that didn’t result in a meltdown upon withdrawal of the device - it was for a slightly older child but they found that after 40mins he was fine but if they left it until 50mins he really kicked off. Might not work with a two year old but could try doing 20mins instead to see if it’s any better.

Not having a kitchen is a real pain - I did this last summer with three kids and I did lose my shit quite a lot. We got quite a lot of disposable barbecues and ate sausages in buns out on the patio which broke up the monotony of toast and houmous and so on.

I think more than anything though you need to cut yourself some slack, acknowledge you have a lot on your plate, you’re not going to be able to feel like you’re doing it all well. If you get any time and space to just do something for you do it - baby and child need for you to look after yourself as well as you needing that for yourself. Don’t beat yourself up if all you can manage is seeking solace in eating crap or hanging out on MN whilst DS watches TV - it’s all an effort to soothe yourself, it’s all ok.

Thanks all.

I think we could stay here but just be braver - the builder was very clear that he would work around us but we obviously want the job done quickly given the timing with the baby due.

I could set up a 'kichen' (small table, air fryer, mucrowave) in a spare room.

We could move in with MIL for August and return in September (she lives too far away from our work for us to commute). My issue would be we have quite low contact as there have been some issues with FIL.

Hm. To sleep on I think.