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Urgent help needed

74 replies

Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 14:05

My DS is away in his University town. He rang me extremely distressed this morning saying that someone in the Philippines is blackmailing him as they have somehow got hold of some ( I presume of a sexual nature) footage and are threatening to send it to all his facebook friends and post on Instagram. They are asking for money. He says he has not done anything wrong ( as in broken the law ) just been naïve. I have not received anything, my niece has. Is there any action he can take. I have advised him to call the police.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 15:16

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat

I think even if footage does exist, unfortunately paying any money won't get rid of it, it will just mark him as an easy target and they will keep coming back for more... Sad
He doesn't have any money to pay anyone anything.
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DianaT1969 · 28/07/2020 16:38

I'm sure he must be very upset. Please tell him nobody honestly cares about masturbation. Tell him to put out a message to all his social media friends that his account was hacked and someone is sending files with a virus in it to contacts. That they shouldn't open it. Then he should delete his accounts and he can set them up fresh in a few weeks. Things like this seem enormous when you are living them. He needs a hand hold. Bless him.

Cheetahfajita · 28/07/2020 16:41

I think you need to ask him to be honest and see if he's used a web cam girl. If so it's a little different but I really think its just a scam.

Kittykat93 · 28/07/2020 16:51

It's still unclear op - has he seen any footage?

Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 17:01

@Kittykat93

It's still unclear op - has he seen any footage?
yes he says he has seen footage.
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VettiyaIruken · 28/07/2020 17:08

Most likely is that if he blocks them, they'll move on to the next target. They want easy money, not to keep pressing someone who doesn't respond.

The absolute worst that can happen is they'll send video and he'll be embarrassed. But it's highly likely they'll just move on. It's a numbers game.

Good time to tell him to never ever send anyone dick pics or do anything in front of a webcam!

He absolutely should not send money or engage with them in any way.

It goes without saying he needs to get his computer checked out for anything dodgy and he needs to change all his passwords.

Just reassure him that the skies will not fall in. That this is nothing more than a potential embarrassment and it'll be ok.

steppemum · 28/07/2020 17:09

I have had a lot of these emails, at one time I was getting one per day.

They are written in a really scary way, and very threatening.

They claim to have footage of all sorts.

In my case I know they are a scam because

  1. I've never logged in to a porn site
  2. Our house wifi won't allow me to log on to a porn site as it has family settings
  3. My computer doesn't have a camera Grin Grin so it isn't possible to have recorded me doing anything!

Depsite that I was unerved by them.

they sound awful.
They are bluffing.

Once you are past this, tell him to invest in a pack of post it notes to stick over his camera when he isn't using it!

Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 17:13

@VettiyaIruken

Most likely is that if he blocks them, they'll move on to the next target. They want easy money, not to keep pressing someone who doesn't respond.

The absolute worst that can happen is they'll send video and he'll be embarrassed. But it's highly likely they'll just move on. It's a numbers game.

Good time to tell him to never ever send anyone dick pics or do anything in front of a webcam!

He absolutely should not send money or engage with them in any way.

It goes without saying he needs to get his computer checked out for anything dodgy and he needs to change all his passwords.

Just reassure him that the skies will not fall in. That this is nothing more than a potential embarrassment and it'll be ok.

Thank you for this.
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IAmcuriousyellow · 28/07/2020 17:16

@chipsandgin my friend definitely had had sexy time with a webcam woman who was egging him on. I admired him for facing it down to be honest.

VettiyaIruken · 28/07/2020 17:25

You're welcome.
It's very worrying when they're out in the world. All grown up in many ways but still learning and still vulnerable. I hope you can help him feel a bit better. X

DeRigueurMortis · 28/07/2020 17:36

Hi OP,

I can understand why you are worried.

If he's seen the video/photos and is sure it's him then it's a different ball game.

It's good he's contacted the police.

Do you know how the blackmailers have contacted him?

The fact they've threatened to release the footage to his social media contacts means it's also vital he get in touch with the company owning the platforms he uses.

For example here's the link to the Facebook report form specifically for "sexpolitation".

m.facebook.com/help/contact/567360146613371

All reputable platforms have similar.

The main thing is not to respond directly to the blackmailer.

As a pp said they want an easy target. If you pay they WILL come back for more.

From a risk point of you you are best off heading this off now. Remember he will feel he's the only person they are targeting but sadly there will be hundreds if not thousands so that buys time to step up with the police and SM companies.

Yes there's a risk the footage will be released but that's true even if he pays up.

He needs to think about what he'll do.

If he's already contacted the SM companies they will help "clean up" the comms.

Ultimately he can style it out or say the footage is fake.

Either way people who are real friends/family will delete it and be supportive.

Good luck.

DeRigueurMortis · 28/07/2020 17:40

And here's the reporting link for Instagram.

He needs to give as much info as he can and explain how they contacted him.

If it was by email - then he also needs to contact his email service provider (e.g. Gmail).

help.instagram.com/372161259539444

Keepmeawayfromthebuffet · 28/07/2020 18:01

This happened to my nephew. They did have footage of him as he’d been on an app or dodgy dating site and thought he’d been messaging a girl.

He contacted police who came out and took details but because the scammers were abroad no further action could be taken.

He was told just to block them and change all his passwords. He told some family and friends and also his boss what had happened so no one would open anything they got sent. Everyone was supportive and let him know it wasn’t the end of the world even if they did forward footage. lHe didn’t hear anything else from the scammers thankfully.

Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 18:27

@DeRigueurMortis

Hi OP,

I can understand why you are worried.

If he's seen the video/photos and is sure it's him then it's a different ball game.

It's good he's contacted the police.

Do you know how the blackmailers have contacted him?

The fact they've threatened to release the footage to his social media contacts means it's also vital he get in touch with the company owning the platforms he uses.

For example here's the link to the Facebook report form specifically for "sexpolitation".

m.facebook.com/help/contact/567360146613371

All reputable platforms have similar.

The main thing is not to respond directly to the blackmailer.

As a pp said they want an easy target. If you pay they WILL come back for more.

From a risk point of you you are best off heading this off now. Remember he will feel he's the only person they are targeting but sadly there will be hundreds if not thousands so that buys time to step up with the police and SM companies.

Yes there's a risk the footage will be released but that's true even if he pays up.

He needs to think about what he'll do.

If he's already contacted the SM companies they will help "clean up" the comms.

Ultimately he can style it out or say the footage is fake.

Either way people who are real friends/family will delete it and be supportive.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for this and the link.
OP posts:
Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 18:30

Thank you so much for all the advice and links.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 18:30

@Keepmeawayfromthebuffet

This happened to my nephew. They did have footage of him as he’d been on an app or dodgy dating site and thought he’d been messaging a girl.

He contacted police who came out and took details but because the scammers were abroad no further action could be taken.

He was told just to block them and change all his passwords. He told some family and friends and also his boss what had happened so no one would open anything they got sent. Everyone was supportive and let him know it wasn’t the end of the world even if they did forward footage. lHe didn’t hear anything else from the scammers thankfully.

Hope your nephew is ok, it really is awful.
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Keepmeawayfromthebuffet · 28/07/2020 18:51

@Babyroobs

My nephew is fine, thanks. He’s able to laugh about it now.

I think it’s good that your ds has told you and not tried to deal with it himself, just keep on reassuring him it doesn’t matter and that most likely nothing will happen anyway.

KittyHawke80 · 28/07/2020 19:05

It absolutely boils my piss that people can successfully abstract cash from strapped young men having a spot of 'me time'. OP, I think it's great that he's felt able to level with you. I've no idea if you're planning on telling him you've been on MN 😂 but I wish you could tell him that anyone worth their salt won't give a shit.

IncrediblySadToo · 28/07/2020 19:18

I hope he's ok... cousin, mum, brother... sounds a bit odd, very specific.

At least if he's seen the footage he should know where/how he accessed the site that's fine this. I hope the police go to town on the bastards! Buy him a few silly stickers for his lap top camera. Poor kid.

Babyroobs · 28/07/2020 20:03

@IncrediblySadToo

I hope he's ok... cousin, mum, brother... sounds a bit odd, very specific.

At least if he's seen the footage he should know where/how he accessed the site that's fine this. I hope the police go to town on the bastards! Buy him a few silly stickers for his lap top camera. Poor kid.

He is speaking to the police at the moment so sounds like they are taking it seriously.
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SleepingWithTheFishes · 29/07/2020 23:18

How did he get on OP?

Babyroobs · 29/07/2020 23:47

@SleepingWithTheFishes

How did he get on OP?
He spoke to the police and they were very reassuring that these people send to one person and then move on to someone else as posters have said. It seems the footage was only received by my niece( his cousin) and none of his other friends have said they have received anything and neither have me or my younger son. He seems a lot better today and hopefully it's a lesson learned ! Obviously highly embarrassing for him. He is coming home for the weekend and will talk properly if he wants to but I'm guessing he will just want to put it behind him. He is so sorry for the embarrassment he has caused. Niece lives in another country and we don't have a lot of contact. Thanks so much to everyone who offered advice and reassurance and please all warn your kids against this kind of thing.
OP posts:
Pantsomime · 29/07/2020 23:55

Could he bluff it out and say his face has been images onto film of someone else?

Babyroobs · 29/07/2020 23:58

@Pantsomime

Could he bluff it out and say his face has been images onto film of someone else?
I'm not sure what he has said to his cousin, I'm not sure if she opened the message or saw the footage.
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