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Original poster

How independent are your 10 year olds?

15 replies

anothermansmother · 27/07/2020 17:01

My dd ( 10) has her friend around today ( we are a bubble with her family as I'm a lone adult household).
She's been around many times both with and without her parents as I've known them for years before she was born.
My dd and her are playing in the lounge and I'm in the next room Mumsnetting and doing some uni work. The trouble is my dd can just get on whereas every 5 or so minutes her friend comes and asks me when I'm coming back into the room they are playing in.
I have explained I'm working and that she's safe, I have the door open and can see them and them me and for a while I did take my laptop and go and work in the lounge, which seemed to stop the coming over every 5 mins.
Are most 10 year olds like this? Her mum is a stay at home parent and I wonder if she is just used to being supervised. Am I neglecting my dd by leaving her to play whilst I work or get stuff done?

OP posts:
DeathMetalMum · 27/07/2020 17:08

Dd1 is 9 she doesn't like being the only one not in the room in case she is missing out so if DP DD2 and I are all in the room she will keep checking up on us, dd2 will go off and play alone for hours we have to check on her. If dd1 had a friend round, we wouldn't really see her as she would be too busy.

If I leave the room they wouldn't really come looking unless they wanted/needed help with something. They are 7&9 I don't know if it's different with being two of them.

BereftOfInk · 27/07/2020 17:17

DS 10 has been out all afternoon in the communal garden with the rest of the kids from the block. He's been in twice (for snacks!) and I've checked 3 times. I keep an eye on them out the window every now and again. Left him and younger DC alone whilst I ran errands this morning ~1 hour.
I'm considered a neurotic over-protective sahm in my neighbourhood (he has SN).

ChaoticCatling · 27/07/2020 17:22

That's very odd. Were the children not that interested in playing together so she wanted other company?

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edwinbear · 27/07/2020 17:42

DS10 would be mortified if I hung about when he had friends over. I'm to provide WiFi, drinks and food and then disappear.

avocadoze · 27/07/2020 17:44

I have a 9yo who will occupy herself independently for an entire morning, only appearing when hungry.

Original poster
anothermansmother · 27/07/2020 17:47

They were playing but she did also repeatedly ask my dd where I was, when I was in the room they just continued to play.
When my dd has others friends over they just okay, I occasionally check and provide food. I'll ask her mum when I drop her off, I think she just may be anxious. When her parents are here all the children regularly every 10 or 15 mins check in with an adult.

OP posts:
Yellredder · 27/07/2020 17:51

My nine year old doesn't like being on her own in a room unless there's some kind of noise or another person. She never used to be like tha, bless her!

netflixismysidehustle · 27/07/2020 17:51

My kids just ran off to play with their friend at that age. If only see them if they wanted a drink or something to eat

AriettyHomily · 27/07/2020 17:55

Our playroom is in the loft so mine usually disappear up there or out in the garden. They definitely don't need me around!

Ulysses · 27/07/2020 18:06

I rarely see my 9 yo and her friends when they are over and they go off playing on their own to the park, checking in occasionally.

My 9yo will occasionally come in and chat while I'm working away in my office now I'm WFH but she knows I'm busy and gets on with stuff herself. I think she's surprised when I'm off on holiday during the work so I will do stuff like putting away her washing, getting her breakfast for her things like that. I do like doing stuff for and with her but work's fairly manic for me in the morning so she's adjusted to it and none the worse off for her.

andweallsingalong · 27/07/2020 18:09

My 9 year old just disappears with her friends. Reappearing only for food, but when she doesn't have friends round hates to be alone.

Original poster
anothermansmother · 27/07/2020 18:28

I've just dropped her home and I asked her mum, she said she always sits in the room where her children are playing, so I think she's just used to having an adult about, she said teachers have commented on it too, especially with her eldest who is 15. She must think my kids are neglected! Grin

OP posts:
ittooshallpass · 27/07/2020 20:04

Goodness... poor kid! The SAHM is not doing her child any favours. She needs to let her DD have some time alone with her friends.

Original poster
anothermansmother · 27/07/2020 20:52

It's strange as I've known them for years and only really noticed today. My friend did say she needs to start leave them and has always referred to my dc as laid back. It must be a hard habit to break after years of children needing you to be with them.

OP posts:
reefedsail · 27/07/2020 20:57

We could easily forget we had 10yo DS. He's an only and an introvert (as we all are) and will happily do his own thing away from us for ages.

He's sociable and has lots of friends, but really likes his own time too.

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