Does anyone else suffer with M.E and have any positive ways of coping? I’m getting really down lately.

[Fightingback16]

I was diagnosed last year with M.E (chronic fatigue) after leaving me abusive marriage. I was during the last year so very low, on my knees really. I left my marriage because I had absolutely nothing left to give, I thought I was dying. It turned out that he was terribly abusive for our whole 12 year marriage and I did not really realise till after.

Anyway I’ve been gone over a year and I thought I would be feeling physically better, I feel mentally a bit stronger. Instead my physical health is bringing me down. I ache all the time, sore throats and headaches and always freezing cold. I work part time on my feet and I can barely walk by the time I get home. Some nights I cry myself to sleep as my legs throb so badly. I have a four year old daughter who has no contact with her dad and I feel I’m no fun at all. I’m always exhausted but the aching is getting too much some days.

Does anyone else suffer with this and have any ideas? I have been told to pace myself but how can do this when I have to work and I have to look after dd. I want to do more things with her and I’m really getting down that I can’t. In the next year I’m going to have to increase my hours and I don’t know how I will cope.

So sorry to hear you’re going through this. Well done on leaving your abusive marriage.
Have you had your bloods checked? Low vit D and low vitB12 can cause/worsen fatigue.
I’ve had ME/CFS for 5 years now. It’s really hard with young children & it must be so difficult trying to keep working. I used to get painfully cold hands - wrist warmers/ fingerless gloves helped a bit. With the sore legs, I sometimes take nurofen if it’s really bad- obviously you can’t take that on a regular basis.
Rest is so important for recovery. Don’t fret about not being a fun parent - survival comes first. When ds was 2 he used to watch a lot of CBeebies while I could barely get off the sofa. I know it’s hard for you to get a rest. When you’re at home, it’s helpful to try to take 10-15mins rest before an activity. So 15 mins before preparing a meal. 15mins before doing bath time. Lots of little rests. On a full day at home I always lie down for an hour after lunch. I used to have the kids on the TV next to me. Not ideal, but it meant they were safe.
Do you get a proper lunch break at work? Is there somewhere quiet you could retreat to for 20mins? Would your boss be sympathetic/ helpful?
Sending big hugs

I have half and hour lunch break but it doesn’t help. By the evening and the next day I can barely stand on my legs. I go to bed at 8 with my daughter most nights but the rest doesn’t seem to do anything as I still ache and I’m tired the next day, may as well of not slept.

I’m worried because it’s just me at the moment and I don’t know when or if her dad will apply to see her. She needs me and I’m really struggling. I thought leaving would solve my problems. Although I’m not being abused anymore I’m not living any kind of life. In fact I feel physically worse because with him I had to get up and make an effort because he wouldn’t let me rest. I lied to myself that I was fine when I clearly wasn’t now I’m paying the price.

I’ve been at work today for 7 hours and I’m sat in bed now and I can’t get up because of the pain and the intense ache in my legs. I could just cry and cry, I want a life now.

You poor thing, you’ve been through a lot and it has taken a toll on your health.
The cruel thing about ME is that you can have a rest and then you wake up just as tired. It is important to put in the small frequent rests, even they won’t fix the problem. Having ME is like being on an extemely low income, only with energy. The small rests are equivalent to very small amount of money. Not much in itself, but they can stop energy bankruptcy.
I was recommended to do relaxation breathing/meditation exercises (there are some good apps). I found them helpful for ‘turning off’ my brain. Thinking and emotional stress also burn up precious energy and it’s good to be able to give your thoughts a break.
Do you have anyone in real life who could give you a hand? It sounds like you need some more support.