Is looking after a 1 yr old easier than looking after a 6 month old?

[kallookallee]

I'm making plans for when I go back to work when my baby is 12 months old. My mum really wants to have her one or two days a week, and I'd really like that too, as it feels like it would be great for their relationship and also there's the bonus of saving on nursery fees!

But my mum and I are trying to figure out whether it's realistic, my mum is nearing 70 and on her own and although she loves looking after her granddaughter, at the moment she's only ever had her for 3-4 hours at a time and she finds it quite tiring. If she looks after her when I'm at work it would be a full day 8am-6pm. My daughter seems quite 'active', she's happiest being bounced around or rolled around or basically quite 'physically' played with most of the time.

If looking after her stays this physically demanding I'm not sure my mum will be able to cope with looking after her, and I'm worried about making commitments around childcare (eg nursery days) that I then wouldn't be able to increase. But I have no experience of children so I don't know whether they get less 'physically' demanding as they get older? My mum is great at (and really enjoys) singing to her, or reading her books, or playing with toys. I'd really like to make it work and my mum will be disappointed if I say I think I need to put her in nursery full time but I also don't want to go ahead with it and then it proves too much for my mum.

My children have always dropped their names between 12 and 18 months so it could mean your mum not getting any break. On the one hand I’ve always found a one year old harder than a six month old, but they do generally get easier as they get older.

My 16 month old does not sit down he never watches TV, he’s constantly claiming and looking for trouble exploring.

His latest trick is turning the oven and grill on.

I’m worn out after 10 hours with him.

That said, he usually has a reliable 2 hour nap. I use it to catch up on housework and prep or cook the evening meal, but if you only have them one day a week as your Mum does you could use that time to relax.

Hello, I thought it might be helpful to update this thread as often when I’ve searched for things on Mumsnet I see people posting the same question I have but I never know how it works out in the end.

So in the case of my DD she is SO much easier to look after now than when she was younger. I think she was quite a difficult baby who was always quick to cry if not engaged with quite physically/intensely. Whereas now she’s one (and walking) she’s so much easier to entertain. We’ve babyproofed my mum’s sitting room and DD is very happy just wandering around exploring, she also really enjoys playing with toys now either independently or with you sitting helping her play and loves being read to. I can see that outside the house as her walking improves she may need to be run around after but at home she’s so much easier to look after.

I can see things might change again when she gets to toddler tantrum stage, and also when she starts dropping naps as at the moment she’ll sleep for 1 hour in the morning and 1.5hrs in the afternoon. But at the moment my mum has her for a day and a half a week and it works really well.

I’m glad it’s working out well. I hadn’t spotted the date and was going to come on and say it was likely to be harder but the longer naps give a good break. I would be prepared for it to get harder physically (in some ways) than it is now from 18m plus when they get stroppy and heavier but also easier in the sense they just get more and more out of toys. I’ve got a just turned 2yo and I’d say the pattern of our day is quite an intense morning with lunch and then a longish nap and a more chilled out afternoon. The last month or so I’ve noticed it’s getting harder on my back to lift her and she’s in a phase where if we try and walk she’ll often ask for a carry/need more physical support in the playground etc.

From 2-3 my eldest transitioned from being
Physically hard to mentally draining. I think perhaps 18m to 21/2 ish would be hardest physically but hopefully your mum might be able to get her out to a playgroup or some other activity once the restrictions ease which would help.

From experience as an older GM who’s done it, IMO that will depend a lot on whether the one year old can be relied upon to have a good long sleep - one hour minimum - during the day.
15-20 minute naps won’t count, ditto naps that only happen if they’re being wheeled about in a buggy.