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Getting dad/brother's car off of sister

25 replies

changednameyetagain · 25/07/2020 11:01

Yes I've posted about this. Name changed as I don't want the tribute thread to be too linked to this. I have fuller facts this time.

My brother had two cars. Both of which he insured my dad to drive on. One (the more expensive/luxiorious/automatic), he signed over to my dad, but it was still his car. My dad had a 'cheaper' make of this model. Then my mum & dad got another car and gave my sister their cheaper model (she was supposed to pay, but never has as she's always short of money.)

Eventually mum & dad ended up using DB's cheaper car. No one used his expensive one - as it was expensive.

Then during lockdown, my sister and her new boyfriend (she met him just before lockdown, and he moved in 6 weeks into lockdown) needed a larger car to collect something. Dad lent them DB's nice car (for one trip only).

Then DB became ill, so they kept the car to take mum and dad to hospital (Dsis's car was big enough!). Dsis refused me a lift when I was told to see him, as my daughter had seen a friend, and she didn't want her in the car as Dsis's new partner's blood group is A. So I told her that we would need DB's car the next day, as our car is too small for DH to drive mum, dad, DD, me and him in (tiny car). She went mad. Her partner went mad. Her partner refused to have anything to do with me, even though he'd never met me. All because I said we'd need to use a car that didn't belong to them, and they'd borrowed for ONE DAY!!!!

My brother died, my mum wants the car back and she and dad have fought like mad.

My dad has terminal cancer, osteoarthritis of the spine and hip and is 75. He is having to drive a manual car that is too low, even though the car that DB signed over to him (and dad is actually the registered keeper of) is an automatic, higher up and was easier for dad to drive.

I found out that the reason that Dsis is using this instead of the car dad 'gifted' her, is she hasn't paid the tax and insurance on her car.

Here's the killer though - she has turned up this week in her other car! So she has a third (second) car that is tax and insured.

So the only reason mum and I can see that she hasn't returned dad/db's car, is that her partner is driving it, and he has NO intention of returning it (she has agreed to, she was supposed to bring it back yesterday, but came over in her little car).

I know her partner sold his car when he moved in with her, and doesn't work (and my dad pays for their petrol).

My mum is very distressed, even she could drive an automatic.

OP posts:
EvilPea · 25/07/2020 11:05

Report it stolen if it’s registered to your dad

EvilPea · 25/07/2020 11:07

Sorry pressed post too soon.

If it’s registered to your dad he can report it stolen and get it back.
Or do they have a spare key? You can get it back and then have it recoded so their key is useless.

Your sister sounds a prize bitch and I’m sorry for your loss Flowers

Smallsteps88 · 25/07/2020 11:09

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. And that your sister is being such an unbelievable jerk at this time.

Can your dad (the car is registered in his name?) have the car towed?

LadyGAgain · 25/07/2020 11:15

Sorry about your brother Thanks
Report it stolen to the police.

EL8888 · 25/07/2020 11:16

Another vote to report it stolen

Campingintheraintoday · 25/07/2020 11:18

Repert it stolen. They are thieves with no boundaries family or not.
Screw them op.

FrancoBranco · 25/07/2020 11:20

If your dad is the legal owner, tell your sister to bring the key back or you will report it as stolen. If she doesn't bring it back immediately (not in a week, not in 3 days, right now) then ring the police and report it as stolen. It's not hers, she has no rights to it.

Don't let her take any of the other cars, and i would actually report her for not having tax and insurance on her own car. Unfortunately it sounds like she's a thief, and due to all the sadness in your family right now she will continue to try to take advantage of your parents and you, so fight fire with fire and let her know you're not going to take it lying down. I doubt this will be the last thing from her.

So sorry to hear about your brother and your dad. This must be a stressful time and you don't need this extra hassle. Flowers

RandomMess · 25/07/2020 11:21

I hope you go through with reporting it stolen.

It's clear it will not be returned if you don't.

merrylittleway · 25/07/2020 11:59

what a horrible person she is. Definitely tell her she has 2 days to return it before it is reported stolen, then also report for non insurance, but I would do that after you get the car back to your parents.

Oldraver · 25/07/2020 13:18

This is absolute madness

Phone your sister and say the car has to be back immediately or you are reporting it stolen

MimiSunshine · 25/07/2020 13:46

Agree. Report it as stolen or if there is a second key then just go and collect it. But don’t give her any warning, just go.
She’s been asked. Now she needs to be told.

lifestooshort123 · 25/07/2020 14:00

I'm so sorry about your brother Flowers. Sounds as though sister is ruled by boyfriend so I would definitely lay it on the line. Tell her that Dad is in desperate need of HIS more comfortable car so please return it by so-and-so and that if she is not able to do this you will presume someone has stolen it and will report it. You don't need this sh*t.

Wishforsnow · 25/07/2020 14:03

Report it stolen, do you think your sister maybe in an abusive relationship. No excuse but maybe reporting will also help her.

CrazyOldBagLady · 25/07/2020 14:08

Just go to their house and take car

AngusThermopyle · 25/07/2020 14:12

I don't see what different replies you will get to last time. As many people have said previously and on here, report the car as stolen.

2bazookas · 25/07/2020 14:19

Find spare car keys. Ask friend to drive you to SIS place in the small hours. Take ca, drive it to Dad and Mum.

MysteryParcels · 25/07/2020 15:01

Does she live far away? Just get in the car (with your dad) and go get it.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother and your dad's terminal illness. Life sounds hard enough without a sister pissing everybody about.

changednameyetagain · 25/07/2020 18:58

My dad doesn't want to upset my sister (she kicks off majorly) and is worried that she may need it! She doesn't DRIVE it! Her partner does!

I've spoken to mum. She is very worried. My dad is not thinking right at all. He wanted to conduct my brother's funeral, and snubbed all offers of help, then was completely unable to do anything on the day, leaving my mum having to step in.

My mum is the one who is paying for the car, it may be in my dad's name, but my mum pays for the insurance, etc, as my dad wouldn't have a clue. She wants it back too.

We are both worried about my sister. She hardly knows this man (I married my DH less than 7 weeks after meeting him, so can hardly speak, but he hasn't changed his name, and I have met his friends, his family etc).

I deleted posts about this last time, due to fear that Dsis's friends may recognise her, but if they do, I would urge them to consider what my mum & my fears are, before running to her.

For all I know her boyfriend may be a lovely fellow, and I may be wrong. All I know about him, is that he seems to like driving around in his girlfriend's dead brother's car, and is seemingly refusing to give it back. Has a potential assault charge (maybe more serious depending if the person survives/recovers). My sister hasn't met anyone who knows him.

She is planning to sell her house in the coming months, and he is not working, but is doing it up for her, contributing a little towards materials and all of the labour.

She is not planning on letting her 20 yr old move with her, but has told me & our parents, that she would choose him over her child, as her child as she's already sacrificed enough of her life for her child.

They have already borrowed expensive tools from my dad and have not returned them. I said we would like to borrow one and it caused an argument...to me it feels like they are acquiring things from my parents.

The boyfriend is very nice to my dad, and called him dad on the second meeting. Dad loves him. My sister aims to get my parents to sell their house at the same time as she sells theirs, and to buy somewhere together. Of course this gives her so much more capital...

I've only met him twice, very briefly, and under very, very, sad circumstances, maybe I've got him wrong... but my gut is saying is saying something is wrong.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 25/07/2020 19:29

That is really scary.

Would your Mum agree to selling up?

It sounds like your Dad is vulnerable. You could report him to SS as being vulnerable to financial abuse - can't think of the term. He needs and advocate acting in his part.

RandomMess · 25/07/2020 19:29

Get you added to the car insurance, get the spare key off your Mum and you go get it?

Ellmau · 25/07/2020 20:26

Who does the car actually belong to now? It sounds as if your dad is the registered keeper, but your brother still owned it. (Sorry for your loss, by the way.)

If so, did your brother leave a will? Who are his heirs?

Bc that will affect who has the right to reclaim the car.

ButteryPuffin · 25/07/2020 20:57

What was the blood type A thing about? They sound very selfish. I would have a talk with your mum and dad, get your dad to see how much your mum is being upset by this, then do what everyone has said and tell your sister it will be reported stolen if she doesn't return it within 2 days.

Flynn999 · 25/07/2020 21:24

Guess a few options.

  1. Report it stolen
  2. Assuming a spare key exists go round to siblings and take the car (don’t even tell her your doing it, go at night or something when you know she/he will be in) get new keys cut etc.
  3. Tell her there is a recall on the vehicle and it’s booked in to the local dealership and you/your dad needs it back
  4. Cancel the tax/insurance and label as SORN - however if her partner is still in it you risk your dad liable for fines and the car removed IF the DVLA/police spot the car.
  5. Tell her to return the fucking car because your dad is Ill and he needs it. Not her dipshit of a partner.
  6. Tell her dad wants to sell the car (too many memories of your brother) and that he needs to take to it to get a valuation on said car.

Couple of thing. How is he insured on it, unless he is specifically named on the policy he’s driving uninsured. Does he even have a license? If he picks up speeding tickets/parking fines your dad can end up liable to these as well as associated fines. Has he damaged the vehicle, when was the last time you actually saw it?

Whatever you do maybe don’t involve your dad and just get the car back. Your sister shouldn’t be taking advantage in this way.

Sorry to hear of the loss of your brother.

BobbieDraper · 25/07/2020 21:31

Do your parents have a spare set of keys for the car? If they do, get them and go and get the car. Park it in a locked garage so they cant take it back.

And you and your mum need to have a chat about the idea of them buying a place with your sister, because she will see it as here and they will end up shoved to the side as much as possible. Maybe they should give you power of attorney? So they cant do things without your knowing and your sister cant take advantage.

wifflewafflebiscuit · 25/07/2020 22:11

Omg don't let your parents buy a place with her. Sounds like her partner might be setting this all up! Definitely get power of attorney sorted for you only ASAP.

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