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What is an ‘invisible woman’?

33 replies

Goatinthegarden · 25/07/2020 09:56

I don’t usually start threads on MN so I hope I’ve got this in the right channel.

I’m just wondering what the term invisible woman’ means. I see it posted on Mumsnet quite often and have taken it to mean that women become invisible to men after reaching a certain age. I guess what I’m wondering though is; is this a bad thing and what are the implications of being ‘invisible’?

The reason I ask, is that I was chatted up yesterday and I realised that it has been years since that has happened. Does that mean I have become an invisible woman? If so, I’m not bothered, I don’t want to be chatted up. I’m 34, I’m happy and confident in myself, more so that I was in my twenties when receiving male attention was more common...I was also single so was probably actively seeking male attention back then IYSWIM.

Or have I missed the point and is being an invisible women something more than this?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 25/07/2020 11:39

Oh sorry...I thought your comment was sarcastic Blush

vintageyoda · 25/07/2020 17:00

I am mid forties and overweight. I am experiencing some of the differences that come with not being so attractive to men anymore and I really like it. I was never comfortable with the wolf-whistling or sexual comments men used to aim at me. Moreover, a noticeable amount of women react better to me these days. I suppose insecure women don't see me as a threat now I'm fat and I can be friendly with men without them or their wives getting the wrong idea.

Not that I was any oil painting in the first place, just young, half decent looking and well presented.
I realise I do have to lose weight for my own health but I rather like being a bit invisible ( not the proper meaning, just the not very noticeable meaning)

EatsShootsAndRuns · 25/07/2020 17:06

@SueEllenMishke

I would highly recommend reading the book 'invisible women' it gives you a great understanding of what is meant by that term but be warned - it will make you angry!
I've just bought this!
Goatinthegarden · 25/07/2020 18:11

@Chitlin

I work in education with a group of men who are not at all misogynistic and treat me like an intellectual and valued equal.

You're only 34. You're still firmly in 'fuckable' territory.

Have a close look at how those men treat (and talk about) older women colleagues.

I really don’t think they are being nice to me because they regard me as ‘fuckable’, they really are quite a lovely bunch. They appear to treat older female colleagues similarly.

I fully understand, from previous workplaces, that not all men are like this. I suppose because I’ve been in this environment for a number of years, I had somewhat naively forgotten what it’s like for many women.

I’m going to do my homework.

OP posts:
LucilleBluth · 25/07/2020 19:11

I have started to experience the feeling of being invisible, not by men in general but at work.

During corona I was working in my school bubble...which was full of women. I struggled every day to access drinkable water, supplies, I was moving heavy stuff out of the bubble (without leaving it) etc...that is until two formally shielding colleagues in their early 20s came back for the last week.

All of a sudden the bubble door was teaming with men...we got loads of help all of a sudden. It was blatantly obvious.

I’m 39.

Snarkastic · 25/07/2020 21:07

LucilleBluth will never be invisible! HER?!

73kittycat73 · 25/07/2020 22:32

@Goatinthegarden

Thanks. I’m a bit embarrassed I didn’t research more before asking. Just in the contexts that I had seen it used around here, I got the impression that it meant something along the lines of younger attractive women were treated more favourably.
Don't worry OP, I thought the same as you. This thread has been eye opening though, Just read the first link.
ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 26/07/2020 03:33

@Chitlin

I work in education with a group of men who are not at all misogynistic and treat me like an intellectual and valued equal.

You're only 34. You're still firmly in 'fuckable' territory.

Have a close look at how those men treat (and talk about) older women colleagues.

Absolutely this
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