What do you think should happen

[Rosebel]

There is a situation that happened at my husbands work and I wonder what your opinion is on this.
So mower driver cuts on a residential road and there's a 10 year old who is fascinated by the mower and watches from his garden (don't know if it's relevant but he has special needs). One of the drivers is lovely waves to him and says hello. The other is a miserable git. The miserable one was on his own cutting one day and told this boy he was fed up of being watched and felt harassed. Also told the mum off.
The mum complained to the company. In your opinion should this driver loose his job or get a warning? Just interested in what others think. The situation has been dealt with but not in the right way imo.

In my opinion a quiet word about tolerance would have been enough.

Not everyone is comfortable or used to being around children and as a parent of a special needs child I know that actually they can be very intense and socially unaware. I'm not sure I would particularly like being watched constantly by a child whilst I was trying to work.

To want him to loose his job and possibly his livelihood for this seems a massive over reaction and ridiculously harsh.

Apologies I didn’t check back and I read the OP this morning. He WAS in the garden but I see no reason he can’t look out of it at anyone he likes for as long as he likes. He could video it and watch it all night if he liked too. How is he being rude? How does mower man know he is being watched continuously unless HE is looking INTO the child’s garden? Don’t be jerks, the child did nothing wrong.

as a parent of a special needs child I know that actually they can be very intense and socially unaware. as can any child.

I think I've read the whole thread properly and I can't see where you've answered the question 'what is your role in this?'. Apologies if I've missed it but if you aren't the child, the mum, the mower or related to the mower why are you so concerned? 🤷🏻‍♀️

as a parent of a special needs child I know that actually they can be very intense and socially unaware.as can any child.

Yes but it's usually within a normal range. The only children I know who mirror my own child's overly intense habits and complete oblivion to any degree of social awareness, also have special needs. I obviously don't know quite how this special needs child behaves but I know my own special needs child is often quite off the scale in terms of what other children do. It's due to her neurological condition, she can't help it but she can be incredibly difficult and annoying because of it.

How is he being rude?

Itisbetter It’s rude to stare, and if you don’t know that then I’m afraid your parents missed some social etiquette when bringing you up.

Staring is intrusive and it makes people uncomfortable, so we teach our children not to do it. If they cannot understand, they should be distracted to take them away from doing it.

@Justkeeprollingalong She did answer it. Her DP works for the company.

[quote Sisterwives]@Justkeeprollingalong She did answer it. Her DP works for the company.[/quote]
How is that explaining op’s role in this incident? It doesn't even explain op’s dh’s tole in this!

She said! Her DP works there, he heard about it when he came back from furlough and that was it.

Itisbetter It’s rude to stare, and if you don’t know that then I’m afraid your parents missed some social etiquette when bringing you up. I would suggest that’s highly unlikely but perhaps we come from very different backgrounds. Child watching workman would be totally unremarkable in most places but by all means teach your children to keep their gaze lowered if it’s necessary in your community.

Is this for real?

Child watching workman would be totally unremarkable in most places but by all means teach your children to keep their gaze lowered if it’s necessary in your community.

Itisbetter Don’t be so silly. If the child was casually watching this wouldn’t be a problem. It’s a problem because the child is staring and making the man uncomfortable.

You do know the difference between looking and staring, right? Because you seem to repeatedly give off the impression that you don’t.

I find your posts rude @heartsonacake but OP said he was “watching” not staring particularly but how could the worker know unless he was watching the child with the same intensity?

Child watches workman, workman is horrid to him and feels moved to tell him he can’t (rude AND untrue), mother phones his employer and says it’s not acceptable, employer agrees (as would the vast majority) and makes apology and disciplines employee.

@Itisbetter

I find your posts rude *@heartsonacake* but OP said he was “watching” not staring particularly but how could the worker know unless he was watching the child with the same intensity?

Child watches workman, workman is horrid to him and feels moved to tell him he can’t (rude AND untrue), mother phones his employer and says it’s not acceptable, employer agrees (as would the vast majority) and makes apology and disciplines employee.

Nobody complains and is uncomfortable because they’re casually and occasionally watched. People complain when they are stared at, and you don’t have to be “staring back just as intensely” to notice when someone is doing it to you.

The employer will also have had to appear to agree because it sounds like this woman made a massive fuss and played the special needs card when she should have put a stop to it a long time ago.

I think you’re just being deliberately obtuse now though so there’s little more to be said to you.

Op, he’s a mower driver. He’s paid to cut grass, not entertain the public. I doubt he has been trained in how to deal with children.

He’s grumpy and he doesn’t like being watched, but since there is no law against a child (SN or otherwise) watching a lawn mower, the driver will just have to put up with it.
But why should he lose his job? That would be totally out of proportion. Unless he was abusive or threatening, he hasn’t done anything wrong.

@heartsonacake
I”m afraid anyone who uses the phrase “played the special needs card” Is unlikely to have anything of interest to add to a discussion about disabled children and behaviour.

Gardeners on public areas won't use strimmers whilst people are nearby as they might pick up a stone and hit someone.
Perhaps he could use the same reason to complain about the boy.
Losing his job is ridiculous imv. Some people are miserable gits.

In my opinion a quiet word about tolerance would have been enough.

Agree.

I wouldn't like being intensely watched while working, by anyone.

What is with this cancel culture?! No he absolutely should not have lost his job! He behaved inappropriately but he has been given a warning. Nobody was harmed by it and the situation has been rectified. What would stand to be gained from another person being made unemployed during these horrible times and then the company having to pay to recruit/train a replacement?

Also have you considered that perhaps the landscaper might have been going through some personal issues? Perhaps dealing with a bereavement or similar. Perhaps his manager knows about this which is why they have dealt with it in the way that they have rather than dismiss him.

I'm not excusing his behaviour but really id like to know what anybody in this scenario would gain from him losing his job?

Gardeners on public areas won't use strimmers whilst people are nearby as they might pick up a stone and hit someone.

That is actually not true.

Was your DH off since March because he was furloughed or had he been off with stress because of this other employee and you were hoping that he'd get the sack to improve your DHs situation?

My husband was off because I was pregnant and his employer gave him the time off to reduce the risk of me catching Covid.
Not at all worried about my husbands job as 3 people have left recently (retired and others moving away) and as of yet they haven't mentioned job losses.
I guess I was just unreasonable.