A Thread in Honour of Middle Age

[LucilleBluth]

Not the Middle Ages, but in honour of the 40 plus.

I turn 40 in six months, I have a feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach when I think about it and I’m not usually so dramatic. It’s the sense of time running out that makes me short of breath.

So I want...I need to know what is good about being 40 plus, not quite old but definitely not young.

I’m 46 & this has been my best decade so far. Turning 40 gave me the push I needed to get help for my depression & leave my shitty relationship. I started a new career, discovered feminism & made a wonderful new group of friends.

Also DON’T underestimate the value of becoming increasingly invisible. It has its uses.

Being happy in your own skin, past caring about nonsense and still having ten years til true middle age 50 which I am next year.🤦‍♀️

Tell me about becoming invisible, how so? I was never one for wanting male attention but I suppose we all want to feel desired.

Come on people.

Positives: More confidence, knowing who you are, not caring so much about other people's opinions (still need to work on this) and not being intimidated by men.

I don't really feel 'invisible' yet but certainly don't get as much unwanted attention or banter. For example, went travelling by myself last year and much less hassle than 20 years ago.

Those older than you are amazing because they just get on with it and do it. Unless they have health issues, but many don't.

Invisibility helps, so you don't give a hoot anymore what anyone thinks in the end.

Think 20 years ahead. 40 is nothing. And when you reach 60 you will still think you are young. That's the spirit!

I'm nearly 62 and so upset I couldn't go to a festival last week - cancelled.
I'm nowhere close to middle age yet!

Invisibility isn’t just about not attracting men. You are not noticed in shops, expected to move out of the way on streets , overlooked by employers etc.

But yes there’s loads to look forward to. Just hit 50 and pretty much giving zero fucks to anything I don’t personally value. Because by the time you reach this age you realise what a waste of time worrying is.

The thing about being invisible is that you can just get on with stuff when you’re out & not be interrupted. And I’ve never been walked into. If I choose to give way that’s one thing, but I’ve perfected the art of staring right through the (usually man) approaching me as I keep going at full speed. Works every time.

I love being invisible! I was never one for seeking male attention anyway, that's not how I measure my self esteem.

I also love being postmenopausal, no periods, increased confidence in my own skin, and a 'don't mess with me' attitude. It's all good.

Positive - knowing yourself a bit more and not putting up wih shit (which I used to).

Negative - if you are confident and stand your ground you are automatically a 'Karen' these days. Bloody awful term.

Financially sorted and both working part time and heading for early retirement.
Our money is our own as no mortgage anymore so plenty to spend on things like our motorbikes, campervan and holiday cottage.
Dc all left home and financially independent.
Have a beautiful home.
Enjoy loads of holidays, socialising and hobbies.
We're both over 50 and definitely not invisible.

Blissfully single & childfree, enjoying my career & with the time & cash to get into hobbies & do stuff with friends. And YES about giving fewer fucks the older I get!

(Being desired by men was never on my agenda though )

I'm pretty much the same age as OP and I'm looking forwards to my 40s. I had DS1 as I turned 30 so my 30s have been about raising youngchildren. I'm sure there willbe many challenges ahead, but there is an increased feeling of freedom ahead.

I've always been invisible. I'm small and youngish looking so tend to be easily overlooked. Often literally! No loss there, and any gravitas from age is a bonus.

I'm well over 40 and it's fabulous. No pesky periods, not giving a shit what people think, driving a soft top sports car as no children's seats to consider, holidaying when we want, affording to eat out occasionally
Its what you make it