Biggest day since lockdown

[Melonslicexx]

I've been abit anxious in recent weeks. We've been to the parks and walking. But I've lost my confidence.

My DD has an hour with her teacher this afternoon. So excited for her to see people. Whilst she's there I'm popping to the bank. I have literally done nothing since march like this. I know it sounds silly but I'm abit nervous. I am "ready" to push myself abit more now. Hoping to take my kids to a farm next week.

But it's hard to not let those worries creep up.

I'm worried I'll need the toilet when I'm out.
I'm worried I'll feel panicky whilst out.
I'm worried I'll feel dizzy and weak when I'm out. (I was anemic before lockdown and it's triggered abit of fear as I've not been able to restart my life since then.

Just need abit of a hand hold/you will be ok. I know it sounds silly but I can't believe I used to be a person who went out and had a life.

Totally understandable op. You aren't alone, many of us feel or felt the same.
Take it in baby steps. Try and not have a cuppa or big drink before you leave home so you won't need the loo. Make sure your handbag is packed with everything you need.
Take your time and do what you can, if you need a sit down or a breather find a bench or a low wall and have time to collect yourself.
Remember it's baby steps all the way.

Good luck, I'll be cheering you on

Thank you. I just feel like my brain starts going to fast if that makes sense. Im determined to feel positive about today.

How did you get on?

Yes I did it. We didn't go to the bank in the end. I took my son to the park though then walked to collect her. She had an amazing time! Massively cheered her up.

I am going to try go out today again as the school have said her workbooks are in the office. It's a mile walk each way but it will hopefully give me a boost again

I actually ventured out to the 'bigger shops'. I wanted a big Sainsbury's and a decent M&S that had the Dinner deal thingy. I tried to get to Chiswick but the buses were not coming for some reason so ended up at Ladbroke Grove for the Sainsbury's then Westfield for the M&S.

I have now decided that apart from popping into my small Sainsbury's/Tesco/Waitrose I absolutely hate shopping. M&S wasn't bad (no queues) but luckily I did not want to browse other shops in Westfields as there were queues and I noticed they had taken away the seating (I know it is because of Covid) but I cannot do without sitting down at some point.!

Also you cannot just go through to Waitrose or at least I could not work out how to get in apart from going up a escalator and then down another one to get in but on the way out (typically I went out ther wrong side!) I saw people going in! How did they manage??!

I know it is not much of a problem but I was hot and cross already and got rather pissed off at being 'herded'. I suppose I am used to smaller shops and am ok at queuing - I expect that but this just got me down. I am not normally like this and I know some people are probably dealing with far worse but for once it did get to me. I guess I will do on line shopping more now.

I still do not want to brave parks etc in case they don't have a loo/it is locked.

I really miss my walks.

Just think of practical ways of managing situation. DS and I used a toilet in a hospital. I opened the door for him and we wore masks. I used hand gel to wipe the toilet seat for him. Washed our hands, and I opened the doors, then we jelled our hands again outside. Take your own food. Take masks.

Just wanted to say i have felt exactly the same. I have to force myself everyday it is getting alot easier now. I just wanted to let you know your not alone xx

That's brilliant op. You are doing really well.

Thanks so much for all your replies. We went for an hour's walk today and called in at the school for her work. I felt abit tempted to turn back in places but we survived.

I totally understand the toilet issue. We want to have a drive out to show the kids my old house one day this week that's 40 minutes away. Ive found the local play area there but I'm just not confident. I don't think I can handle 3 hours out without knowing if there's toilets anywhere. Also feeling you can't just walk in the shops is really stressful. I know technically you can. But I overthink it all because I haven't done it. Still self conscious about masks. I know that's annoying to hear. I don't mean to sound pathetic about it

That shopping trip to m&s sounds stressful pp. It is off putting. Having to work out what's acceptable is abit mind boggling. I guess I should have done more in the first place. But I was really worried and couldn't really justify taking my kids in Asda when everyone was on a mission to share on Facebook how much they disagreed with kids being out.

Its shame people on fb have put you off going out. But I understand. I think everyone who hasn't worked through lockdown feels like this. It's scary and quite mind boggling. And I totally agree with the toilets thing, I'm the exact same.

But I was really worried and couldn't really justify taking my kids in Asda when everyone was on a mission to share on Facebook how much they disagreed with kids being out

Please consider coming off Facebook. It’s unhelpful and unhealthy.