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Original poster

Parents want me to go on hols with toddler, not sure I want to

13 replies

Sunnydazey · 19/07/2020 18:20

I’m a single mum to DD who is currently 14 months, she’s a very active and chatty toddler. She does get easily bored and is constantly on the move, also sleeps like shit haha

So anyway next summer it’s my dads 60th and mum is organising to go away to Spain or one of the Balearic Islands for it. She’s obviously invited me and DD

DD will have just turned 2, I didn’t want to bother going abroad until she was 5, it just seems to stressful (eg the plane journey, the tantrums, the heat, not being able to actually relax, can’t have a grown up meal in a restaurant as Dd Will want to run about) you get the picture.

I explained everything to my mum and said I just don’t feel I’ll enjoy the holiday and it’ll cost me a fair bit, so I don’t want to pay for something I won’t enjoy and will be stressed for.

She really wants me to go and said I’m being “stupid” I’m still considering possibly going as I don’t want to let them down.

How bad is it to take a just turned 2 year old abroad for a week? I mentioned the single mother part as of course I have no DH to take over of it gets too much or for support. My parents want to enjoy themselves and won’t look after DD and neither will my brother who is also going.

Am I being silly by not wanting to go or is it really shit taking toddlers away?

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/07/2020 18:23

It all depends. DD was (actually still is) an excellent traveller and I took her all over. However, my mum and dad and brother would have helped out a lot, would have allowed her to be at least some of the focus and wouldn't have expected a 'normal' holiday.

If this will be you desperately trying to keep everyone happy while people get resentful that you prioritise your DD's needs over their wants while you do all the work... hard no to that idea.

lufcaregoingup · 19/07/2020 18:26

I took my youngest when she was 2.5 and tbh on the plane she was great and on a night stayed up later no problem. Napped a lot in the buggy during the day. But the biggest thing for me was having to constantly chase her around the pool all day. She never sat still. In the end all the adults on the holiday took it in turns to watch her so I could have a brief break.

OverTheRainbow88 · 19/07/2020 18:26

I think 2 is a nice age to go on holiday. She’ll
Enjoy the sand and beach; the pool and sea, ice creams. My son still talks about the holiday we went on when 2. Also you’ll have your family around to help you out!

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/07/2020 18:32

It’s not fun on the plane but equally Spain is a quick flight, and god love an iPad and snacks. In a resort I loved it, baby pools usually have a canopy so cooler; nice if you have a balcony so you can relax/ read etc whilst they nap in the room. Also going with family is a good idea, you will get the odd break in the afternoon etc. I think you are overthinking it.

delilahbucket · 19/07/2020 18:33

Totally depends on the child and whether you will have extra hands to help out. If you can go to the beach that is always good for keeping occupied and you can get a lightweight pop up tent to keep her out of the sun at peak times.
With the restaurants, feed her earlier, eat out later and have a buggy she can sleep in. I've seen many a sleeping toddler in an evening on holiday! It is only a week so go and enjoy.

Cornishmumofone · 19/07/2020 18:37

It'll be fine. Don't worry about the plane journey- your daughter will probably find it exciting. I've managed to take my DD to Australia several times between 10 months and 3 years old and have not had any problems with the flight. Pack some small novelty toys for the journey if you're concerned.

AnotherEmma · 19/07/2020 18:39

YANBU for the following reasons:

"She really wants me to go and said I’m being “stupid”"

"My parents want to enjoy themselves and won’t look after DD and neither will my brother who is also going."

Also, if she really wanted you to go, she would offer to pay for you or at least contribute towards your costs.

It is possible to have a nice trip abroad with a toddler but not with your family's attitude I don't think. It will be hard work for you, they won't be helpful and you'll resent having spent the money.

With little ones it's only relaxing if you have a partner and/or others to share the load, or if you go somewhere with a crèche!!! And even then it's nowhere near as relaxing as a holiday pre kids.

JellyfishandShells · 19/07/2020 18:40

We travelled a lot with babies and toddlers ( in laws , very long haul flights away) and it was fine - but I was not on my own. I think there are drawbacks to doing a traditional beach/pool hotel holiday abroad with toddlers- not least making sure they don’t burn/over heat. They aren’t like older children who can have fun in the pool for ages with you just supervising - you have to be in there with toddlers.

Most importantly- you are being pressed to do something you aren’t keen on but would have to pay for. When you said invited I assumed you meant as their guest, but you are going to really resent being there if it goes less than well and you have forked out against your instincts.

It would also be different if they were all going to be pitching in to help take care of her.

Use your money to have some nice treat days out and wait until you feel more comfortable what you feel is right for the two of you,

xolotltezcatlopoca · 19/07/2020 18:44

I took my then 2 years old dc on the 12 hours flight on my own. And then went to holiday 2 hours flight away with my family. It was great, though everything evolved around him , and I can't believe that he doesn't remember any of it. But we all had great time.

MinnieMountain · 19/07/2020 18:45

Would they spend lots of time at the beach or just want to laze around drinking? If the latter, I wouldn't go.

You'll spend all your time looking after your DD in a place that others have chosen whilst being resentful that they're doing bugger all.

A beach holiday that you've chosen is an entirely different matter.

Charleyhorses · 19/07/2020 19:10

Don't do it. Hols with 2 year olds can work but if they won't help it will be shit and expensive. Just watching to make sure she doesn't drown is a job for 2 people!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/07/2020 19:13

Is she the only dc going? It's hard when you bring the only small child along and the other grown ups dont make any allowances for the fact there is a small child around.

I know your dd's dad won't be on the trip but is he around to have dd for the week? Or dds grandparents on the other side? Even if you just joined them for 2 or 3 nights.

forrestgreen · 19/07/2020 19:20

Hmm on my own with a 2yr old with no offered help. That I'd have to pay for so it would come out of my families money...
Nope.

If I had a partner or parents who really practically chipped in, or if they were paying, then maybe.

I did take my two year old abroad and enjoyed it but it was hard work with a partner where we shared care and ate out at a time to suit.

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