6 year old cries a lot

[jellybe]

My 6 old cries at the smallest thing. If things don't quit go as they expect it to they cry sometimes uncontrollably. It breaks my heart to see them upset like this over such little things I.e the shorts they wanted to wear not being clean.

I do lots of cuddles with them. Try to get them to talk through how they are feeling and I stay calm (don't expect them to be calm when upset) etc. But I just don't know how to help them manage their emotions/ expectations. I don't want to change who they are as they are a beautiful sensitive caring soul but I'm worried that at times they are over sensitive and there might be a bigger issue going on.

Help!

@Y0ubetterwerk big and small things is an excellent idea. Will start using that with him. Thanks.

I’m glad someone else has mentioned ASD because that was my first thought. Your OP reminded me a bit of my daughter (8). She’s on the waiting list for assessment. I used to get so frustrated with her bouts of crying, I always thought they were quite manipulative and self-pitying Now I realise they were probably meltdowns. I had this idea in my head of what a meltdown was like, but they don’t have to be out-of-control angry outbursts, they can be bouts of crying when things don’t go right for them.

It really seems like if things aren't going as he thought they would in his head that he can't cope with the change. He's rather methodical with things when he plays etc. and likes to have a plan.

This jumped out at me. Kids with ASD can be such rigid thinkers that anything unexpected, or deviating from the plan they have in their head, can send them into a tailspin.

I’m sure parents of neurotypical kids will jump down my throat for playing the autism card, and tell you that he’s just over sensitive. And maybe he is. But it sounds like you have some niggling feelings that there might be something else going on. Personally I’d recommend doing some research around autistic traits and see if anything else resonates with you.

Schools often have zero concerns about a child as long as they behave well at school. When I told the school that my DD is awaiting an assessment they were astounded. I think they think I’m making it all up.

I completely disagree with @Tinyhumansurvivalist. It’s not awful to give a quick squeeze and a ‘never mind’ to a child sobbing their heart out because their favourite shorts are in the wash. Just because he’s inconsolable doesn’t mean it’s actually a heartbreaking event. It is NOT the same as ‘man up’

I like both @Tolleshunt and @Y0ubetterwerk‘s approaches - acknowledge the upset, but nurture building that resilience.

Crying is a good release for emotion.