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Older child bedwetting

14 replies

Mummaginge · 18/07/2020 21:12

Hi all, I'm hoping to find more parents dealing with bed wetting with older children my son is 10 and he still has accidents most nights, it's very hard as this now effects his confident and self esteem. I'd like to know what has worked for families and any advice. As I feel useless and at a loss, we have spoken to the doc and tried tablets but current ones are unsuccessful. Any advice or like wise issues gratefully received. Smile

OP posts:
Remmy123 · 18/07/2020 21:17

Two children same issue - get a bed wetting alarm!! One cured for good in 2 weeks, the other 3 - should have got one years ago!!!

mrselizabethdarcy · 18/07/2020 21:20

We use desmopressin. It works about 95% of the time. My DS is 12 and has never been dry. The incontinence nurse said they are restricted as to what they can do when they are still young. If it is still happening at 18 there are other treatments available.

lorisparkle · 18/07/2020 21:27

We spent many years tackling Ds1's bed wetting. We saw a specialist continence nurse and used the medication. The one thing that did work was the alarm. It was not an easy fix but we persevered for a couple of months and he was consistently dry just after his 10th birthday.

There is a good website www.eric.org.uk that you might find useful.

With ds3 we decided not to bother with the tablets or even the GP. Instead we bought an alarm on Amazon and he was dry consistently before he was 9.

I am sure you know all the advice but just in case this is some 'tips' we were told..,

At least 7 good drinks a day
No caffeine drinks or blackcurrant
No drinks at least 1 hour before bed (for ds1 it was actually 2 hours)
Ds1 was expected to help strip the bed and remake it - not as a punishment though
'Double wee' at bed - e.g a wee before brushing teeth then a 'squeeze the last drops out wee' just before bed

However for both ds1 and ds3 the only thing that worked was the alarm. (Ds2 was dry day and night within a week of starting toilet training - it is all in the genes!)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

missyB1 · 18/07/2020 21:37

We used a combination of desmopressin and the alarm, it took about 4 weeks.

The continence nurse told us not to restrict fluids, to remind him to do a double wee last thing and avoid blackcurrent juices.

We didn’t make him strip the bed and that was certainly never advised either. Bed wetting is beyond the child’s control.

MrsOrMiss · 18/07/2020 21:39

My DS was 14 before he finally 'got it'. He was elated.
Prior to that, we tried everything - the alarms woke everyone but him, restricting drinks, avoiding certain drinks, giving more drinks (to flush the strong urine out), lifting him, rewards charts and the drugs certainly didn't work as they were supposed to. He just grew out of it.

Best advice is to wear pull ups as long as you need - I was continually told to not put him back in nappies as this would hinder his development. The constant washing of bedding and stress every morning I feel was far worse for the whole family. Plus, DS really wasn't fussed. For him setting the bed was just something he did that no one else did. Buy a real waterproof mattress cover - the same as the hospitals, not one of the small strange plastic ones often sold for bed wetting. Some Hospital Trusts give them free if you're child is over 7, it's worth checking if yours does too. If you can't get one, a large UPVC shower curtain will work, just not as well. Teach him to change his sheets and wash himself properly every morning. He will 'get it' too.

lorisparkle · 18/07/2020 21:51

The advice about getting the child to help strip the bed is in the ERIC booklet,

www.eric.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=a6299b43-345d-4860-ab2c-ed139bef6f3e

lorisparkle · 18/07/2020 21:51

The advice about getting the child to help strip the bed is in the ERIC booklet,

www.eric.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=a6299b43-345d-4860-ab2c-ed139bef6f3e

TheWashingFairyatemyhamster · 18/07/2020 23:05

I’m another fan of the alarms. I thought my oldest would never be dry, but the alarm worked like magic within a week. I was sure I would be massively sleep deprived but wasn’t at all.

DS1 was nearly 10 when we used it. Prior to that he had a) been soaking pull ups to the point that they couldn’t contain the liquid even though they were supposed to go up to age 15; and b) wasn’t that bothered about wearing pull ups still. We had worked hard not to go on about it or make him feel embarrassed. It was obvious that the hormone that concentrates wee hadn’t kicked in yet and so it wasnt as if there was anything he could do.

As he was approaching 10 he stopped flooding the pull ups and also began to get self-conscious about wearing ‘nappies’. I asked if he wanted to try to do something about it and he was really keen, so I did some research and he chose an alarm he liked the look of.

Once it arrived he was super keen ( the ERIC website says that is important). We double sheeted his bed (waterproof sheet, normal sheet, waterproof sheet, normal sheet) so that at least the first accident could be dealt with quickly.

I couldn’t believe it. I had been dreading him going on his Year 6 residential because of this issue, but we got it all sorted in Year 5.

Cantfindaholiday · 18/07/2020 23:16

The alarm worked for my son at around 10. He had a relapse after some months, but a second go did the job. It's hard work but worth it.

Ltdannygreen · 18/07/2020 23:22

DS is 12 and never been dry, we were on demopresin but it wasn’t working they moved him to improampine, it’s sill a biT hit and miss. Hoping it just stops itself.

Devlocopop · 19/07/2020 06:51

Have you been in the ERIC website? There is a lot of useful information on there. Let your son know he is not alone. It just isn't talked about in the playground. I think there is still a general lack of understanding of why it happens.

Let's face it, if supermarkets are giving over valuable shelf space to pull ups for much older children there has to be a need for it.

Ds1 was year 6 before he was reliably dry at night. Ds2 was 2 years old. Ds1 didn't produce the hormone. The desmopressin worked but we were not prepared to drug him every night.

We did try the alarm and yes it stopped him right at the start of weeing but he just say on his bed completely traumatised, we had to physically stand him up. So we sacked that off.

Go back to your GP and get referred on.

DiddlySquatty · 19/07/2020 06:55

Can’t offer any more tips beyond what’s been said above -but just to say my dd was probably still 50/50 or maybe slightly better by 10 and I was starting to despair but it really did just sort itself out.
Bedwetting alarm did help a bit.

averythinline · 19/07/2020 09:28

We didn't use alarm but desmopressin for trips DS probably 13 before reliable.. big thing reduce stress on everyone

NoWill · 11/03/2021 00:50

Hi everyone. I used to wet the bed as a kid and managed to stop myself using the technique described below. It did not work overnight and I cannot be sure this is what stopped the problem. But I have told this to another with the problem and they too stopped.

Let me give you my opinion on what was happening and how it is definitely not the child's fault, but may in fact indicate that your child is very imaginative and sensitive.

I believe that often, the child dreams of going to the toilet, possibly as the bladder tells you it is full, and similar to other dreams where a child may make movements or call out during their sleep, they may actually go through the process and actually pee.

OK, there is my theory on what was happening. I stress this could easily be wrong, but accepting this could be key to helping.

So how can we stop this happening? Well the key to this is recognising you are in a dream state and waking up. How?

Well, there are some theories that many people dream in black and white or grey scale. How does this help? Well if tell your kid that each time before they pee, they must pause and check that there is some bright colour in the bathroom. You can help this by showing your kids what a black and white film looks like, then putting some bright colourful item on each of your toilets. If you sense there is something wrong with the colour then you are dreaming and you can wake up.

Do we sleep in black and white? Don't know. I don't think it actually matters: what happens is that if you are dreaming, you are actually unaware unless you actually think about it.

Checking for a colour item has to become a habit for the technique to work.

If you have tried everything else, give it a go. It's worth a shot. The technique can be used with all other techniques and has no bad side effects as far as I can tell.

Please let me know if you try it. If it works, tell others. If not, no harm done.

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