When people are trying to be lovely but unhelpful - what do you do!?

[Lemonadestrawberry]

I’m having this with DP at the moment. I’m pregnant and when I need to be sick dp is very solicitous and asks ‘are you all right? Can I get you water?’ and generally makes a fuss.

But I’m mid gag and I have to break off to reassure HIM!

My other pet hate is when you’re reverse parking into a tight spot and someone decides to help by standing behind you and waving their arms around windmill like ... then I am looking at THEM not the space!

Any others?

I definitely agree when it comes to parking! I can think of two occasions where someone "helped" by flapping and wincing. The first occasion I actually asked them to go away as they were making it harder!
The second occasion I ignored them. I didn't need any help, I just needed to do a fifteen point turn, which I wouldn't have needed to do had another person not parked very inconsiderately.

Here's another one -
My church hosts a big sit down Christmas dinner once a year. I've been doing the decor and generally making things look good for it for many years.
People like to come and "help" set the tables. One year I actually printed out a picture of the place setting so I wouldn't have to go along swapping the knives and forks over after them.
It didn't work. I did, in the end, ask one person why they were ignoring the correct way to lay the cutlery. I was told it "didn't matter".
I wanted to tell "Look mate, an army of people have come together to cook a fantastic meal, people have worked hard to make the hall clean, tidy and looking pretty fantastic. If you're going to insist on helping then at least put the forks on the left and the knives on the right! If you don't want to, then sod off. I might as well do it all myself anyway!"
I didn't say that. I should have done, but I didn't. I just ended up going round everywhere they'd been and making each place setting not look like it had been fired at the table from a distance.
Pardon me for getting angry about cutlery. It was just so disrespectful to all the hard work gone on before. Last year they "helped" by not actually doing anything except randomly monologue at people.