Partners just been really dark.

[Namechange32564]

My partner is 36 and has a good job. He's smart. He is abit of a conspiracist. (Have I spelt that right) I have rolled my eyes at him many times. I have also laughed at him and told him to stop watching the stuff he watches.

Lockdown and coronavirus has brought alot of different things to the surface. People have different views on where the virus started. What lockdown is about. What the vaccine is about. What the government is trying to do etc.

You could get quite disheartened listening to some of it. I don't know what to believe or not to believe. I am worried for our childrens futures. I am abit unsure about this vaccine when it is out. I also can see we are becoming more monitored and traced. I've had chats about different views with different people. It's good to listen and not bury your head in the sand. I do agree the mainstream media only report certain things. There's flaws to things too.

Anyhow this morning we were talking about taking our kids to a farm next week for a little morning out. My partner's off work so it will be nice to do a couple of simple things to go back to some sort of normality. We were just saying how sad we are for ours kids. The freedoms we had are not there for our kids anymore. The simple things we used to do are now more complex. I said to my partner that I wish I knew when our kids would be able to be normal again. When we can all be the people we were and not have to worry about viruses and going near people. The days we can touch things without fear. I wonder if it will be months or years or never again. I don't mean it dramatically. Just childhoods are so short and whilst kids adapt it should not be like this for them.

Anyway to the point! My partner said it won't get any better. We will all be dead in ten years. I said to him that's a little bit over the top. He said people need to open their eyes. They want to population down. We are being controlled. They want us down to 500 million. I said do you are saying our kids will die aged 12 and 15. He said people need to start fighting back.

A psychic (I know not everyone believes) said on a Tele thing that she predicted coronavirus and she said a war will break out in 2030. She said viruses will be our new biggest killer. We watched this in January! I remember at the time watching her predictions and she had predicted the virus in November last year.

Anyhow he's gone up to bed said he's tired. I'm sat here feeling pretty deflated now. I know he watched things. I don't watch anything but try and live day to day in "my own world" as I know there are higher powered people who ultimately can destroy lives and start wars etc. But if you focus on that you can't enjoy your life.

Just hearing him being so defeated about the future. It's making him unwell isn't it.

Am I being completely blind or is this going to get really nasty. It hurt the most that he says he regrets bringing our kids into this world.

I was just hoping this virus was just a temporary issue and not one thats the start of the end of life.

Omg please don't be horrible about my partner but please tell me what to think and do about it?

He is definitely getting sucked in. He seeks to think there is an elite who are going to kill us all and control us. They went us miserable and stuff.

@GreenLeafTurnip

Oh no really? What a nightmare for you too. My partner has always said daft stuff the last couple of years. The Queens apparently a reptile according to someone out there. Beyonce isn't a really person. Certain popstars with tattoos are in the elite etc. I literally tell him it's ridiculous. But since lockdown he's focused on slot of things. I know one day there's going to be another war. Sadly humans can't and won't live peacefully. But I don't think 2030 will be the year billions are killed.

It's really negative and as you say you can't say anything.

If I moan about anything he says that's what they want you to do or say. ..

Glad to not be alone. X

@Sarahandco

We was supposed to go on holiday next week it got cancelled. We are also skint. But I'm definitely going to encourage us to get out to walk and stuff. He definitely needs to stop watching it all.

Again sorry for typos.

Seriously they sound like the same person. He's 36 this November as well. It's got worse in the last couple of years. He isn't depressed but he is a weed smoker so that's what I put it down to. He did finally give up the one that the world is actually flat. I just couldn't believe he thought it was true. Doesn't help that I work in science so all of the things he says to me just male him sound stupid. I just hope that I can stop him passing it on to our toddler.

@AlternativePerspective

OP, I’m reading some of your posts and it seems obvious that you agree with some of this thinking though. Not all, but that you seem to think that COVID is about controlling people and wasn’t a straightforward virus etc etc.

While you yourself are buying into some of these conspiracies you can’t possibly begin to tell him that it’s all wrong.

You need to take a step back and review your own feelings on this before you can even think about talking to him. With both of you being conspiracists to a greater or lesser extent you will be feeding off each other. And for everything you agree with he will find reassurance to believe in that which you don’t.

This. Your thought processes are the same as his, though not as extreme.

@GreenLeafTurnip

It's really odd isn't it. We all should know the world isn't black and white. But thinking there's such an evil thing out there is insane. Plus why 2030. Why not now.

The only problem I see is technology has taken over. It's gone to far. It doesn't need to "grow" any further. This is half the problem. We don't have much escape from anything. The phones we have access too are taking over. You can Google anything and it's a thing.

He has migraine now and I've just told him he needs to focus on our life and stop wasting his energy on these videos. I told him he doesn't know who made them and it could be any random crazy person.

Will see how he is later.

Have you pointed out that it makes for a very doom and gloom atmosphere for you and DC? That you're worried about him and the effect his beliefs are having on him? Just wondered if seeing himself through your eyes might wake him up a bit? I think a combination of being honest about the impact it's having on your family and encouraging more outdoor/manual stuff is worth a try.

Ive told him abit just now and quoted stuff from this thread but as though I had said it. He doesn't know about the thread. But I want to say more to him later on it definitely. I've told him he could do with having a project. He said I could do with overtime. I said forget work abit and focus on something nice.

He said but don't you think there are many unanswered questions. I said not really. I said most of it is stuff people have created as a suggestion and it's spread around as fact when it likely isn't. I then said you need to stop watching the s**t all you will make yourself unwell.

Hoping he can see his therapist soon

Coronavirus was predicted by scientists just because it (Or something like it) was likely to happen At some point. SARS and bird flu could have had the same (or worse) impact but they were less easily transmitted by hosts thank goodness. A war at some point is also easily predicted as there are wars ongoing right now, I remember being quite concerned about North Korea at one point and about the Middle East more recently.
Biological warfare is also a risk but the key is that all of these have always been a risk (for decades) and in reality nothing has changed relation to these but Covid is the first that has really impacted people’s day to day lives in a long time so they feel closer.
I understand his concern but in reality there is little people can do about these except continue to live their lives as best they can and take care of each other as much as possible. We have been very lucky to live in the times we have and some disruption was bound to happen at some point.

Haven’t viruses always been the biggest killer? And haven’t there more or less constantly been wars somewhere or other? I swear, it’s like some people don’t realise there’s life beyond the U.K. or maybe the EU at best, no wonder people got so emotional over brexit 🙄

Op, I am bipolar and can relate to some of the stuff you are saying about your OH as I recognise it within myself. I can become very sad when I consider global pollution, melting icecaps etc and then on smaller scales Brexit, the Trans movement and men being allowed to self ID, Bojo/Trump etc. I do become doom and gloom and become hyperfocused on the future. But for me its all about a feeling of lack of control and acknowledging the need ( within myself) to step away from the anxiety and the source that feeds it.

SO when I was overwhelmed and sprialling about the idea of men in womens spaces and the sudden rise of women being killed by men during lockdown then my OH would often point out that I was becoming short tempered. I reacted negatively initially but he gently prodded me again and used an example or two of my behaviour and pointed out that my thoughts are not rational. I then temporarily hid the pages that I get that news from. I stayed away from the feminist boards on here. But then I needed to regain some level of control to make me feel like I have done what I realistically can to help prevent my fears becoming true. SO I email my local MP, No 10 and list my concerns about the underfunding of support for womens domestic violence charities and list some sources that show that domestic violence has increased since lockdown along with death rates of women at male hands. I donated £25 to my local Womens Shelter and set up a £10 a month DD for them. I shared a few DV helplines on my FB so that people knew that if it affected them , they could access help. And then I fully stepped away from all of it for atleast 3 weeks. The break did me the world of good and my happiness levels increased every day.

That doesnt mean I never went back to the pages. I did, I was on them this morning reading about it all. But its easy to become sucked in.

If you OH is worried about food shortages, then use that as a bargaining tool. Encourage him to start prepping for shortages, to start growing his own food or helping out at an allotment. BUT he has to step away for atleast a few weeks and if there is no improvement go to th GP.

And if he is doom and gloom about you all being dead in ten years then I would honestly meet him with nothing but sunshine and positivity, even if its totally faked. Slap on your biggest smile and reply "I know you think that is true but that just means you need to give the kids the best ten years they could possibly have! Now get your wellys, were going river walking and then having a picnic! Maybe we could book Disney for next year? What do you think? Something awesome to look forward too."

I've had a fair few people trying out these theories on me lately.

Someone tried telling me that the virus was manufactured, so I countered with - does it matter? The results are what we need to deal with, not how it originated. And the whole 'we'll all be dead in ten years' got countered with 'better start enjoying life to the max now then!'

Does any of that work with him? Telling him to 'Carpe Diem', live for the now, not worry about what he can't change or affect? Worrying about what may, possibly, happen isn't going to change things, so can you try to encourage him to enjoy what he's got in front of him now?

Some great suggestions on here.

I do understand how the world can get people down. My partner's never focused on just the UK. He is very aware of Syria and other places and the awful things they have been put through. I think that's half the problem. He knows too much. Whilst it's important to those suffering that people know what they are going through we are limited to what we can do to stop it. It's ultimately in the hands of leaders and armies.

I understand that this pandemic has really shocked us s a whole. The lady above who stated we have been lucky to live in these times. I agree that's just it. Since all this technical world we are in now we are full of information and options. My grandad was born three years before the first war and was in the second world war fighting. He then became a builder and had 8 children. Lived in a 3 bedroomed council house. Got cancer and died aged 60 exactly with his youngest child aged 17. His life was hard.

I agree with PP, you sound like you do actually agree with him (maybe not to full extent) but you are falling down into the same conspiracy madness hole.

I'm really not! I know the world is not perfect. There's a big difference.

My ex partner believed every conspiracy theory going, anti establishment but couldn't explain the rational or evidence supporting any of his points. Anyway my dad sent me this article and it made a very interesting read.
aeon.co/essays/the-intellectual-character-of-conspiracy-theorists

Thanks I'll look.

I'm sorry OP but you're ignoring what @AlternativePerspective is pointing out. You DO believe some of the things he believes in. Not to the same extent but you do. None of it is healthy you'll just feed each other with these "woo" believes.

You don't need to be sorry. I do not believe in conspiracys. I say I'm not smart enough to know if 5g is safe. It probably isn't. But phones and brains have always been a risk to health long term.

I've said I dont know what's put in vaccines. I don't know if the new vaccine will be safe. The reason behind that is because it's likely rushed and it's a new thing.

I've said that I know things go on in governments that we won't know or understand. But we can't waste our lives worrying about it and it's best to love in your own bubbles.

Yes I'm worried for our kids futures. Because it's quite sad what is going on. That's not a conspiracy. It's A fact. Long term damage from this pandemic is a worry.

War and countries fighting isn't a theory. It's a fact. Some countries like America and Korea have had their differences. America and China have too. Do I believe the will go to war one day? I don't know! But I don't believe there's a plan to get the population down to 500 million.

I listen to people. I know some of the figures are inaccurate. If you go onto the NHS stats they are much more different to the ones the mainstream media release. That's not a conspiracy.

Life is all about being aware of things but believing silly controlling conspiracys is not a good idea.

As for tracking and tracing. That's not a conspiracy either. The microphones on your phone do listen to you. How many times I've had a chat about something and then suggestions come up on Facebook. There are settings on your phone to agree to letting them listen to you. But you can turn it off technically.

So there's little parts of what people worry about that are real. Then there's paranoid theories like people being in the 1%, robots and population control.

Not going to engage with all the 5G microchip bollox, other than to say that there are lots of science based, properly thought through articles thoroughly debunking them. Every time you read or hear something conspiracy-based, try to read something sensible.

What does worry me is his belief that your kids will die in ten years. Presumably he doesn't think they've got ten more happy years ahead of them? I would ask him how soon he thinks this global apocalypse is going to kick off, and what exactly he thinks will happen to your DC.

The worry (and please do not put this idea in his head) is that he will decide to do something fucking stupid to 'protect' them. You may not think it's likely, but no mother ever thinks their partner could possibly harm their DC.

Read this: www.bbc.com/news/health-53409521 and then consider why anyone would want to kill off large numbers of the population.

I wouldn't worry about the long-term effects of this pandemic on your kids' childhoods and futures. Think about it: the global elite want to maintain the status quo. Capitalism and consumerism is going great for them. They want a vaccine that works and that gets everyone back working and spending as soon as possible.

You do have magical thinking = psychics. You question of the virus really started ta the wet market = conspiracy of man made virus.

You mention 5G it's been proven there's nothing to be afraid of.

Kim Jung-un (the guy in Korea) doesn't have any particularly powerful nukes.

Do I know for sure none of that will happen? No? But I don't think about it. I don't worry about it. You're giving it the benefit of the doubt. None of that follows critical thinking.
Peer reviewed evidence is your friend here. I highly recommend you read The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan.

Or just apply Ockham's razer to your life, the simplest explanation is the most likely to be true.

War and countries fighting isn't a theory. It's a fact. Some countries like America and Korea have had their differences. America and China have too. Do I believe the will go to war one day? I don't know!

Global superpowers go to war for oil and resources. They go to war for political influence and control of foreign countries. A major war with a rival superpower (or a world war) does not benefit them financially. So it's EXTREMELY unlikely to ever happen.

OP, you keep saying that you aren't clever enough to understand all these things - who is telling you this? Your partner? Does he try to belittle your intelligence by telling you that only HE is clever enough to comprehend what's going on in the world?

Only you seem perfectly intelligent to me. Always beware of anyone who tells you that they don't need to (or can't) explain their rationale because 'you won't understand it'. The usual reason that you won't understand it is because it's a load of bollocks that uses made up words and invented theories to justify their thinking.

Think for yourself. Read up on subject - not just the mainstream or the tin-foil hat sites either. Read stuff that's written by people actually involved in what's going on, rather than those giving their opinions from the sidelines.

Ignore the physic. I was offered one of those jobs and i have no ability whatsoever, its just nonsense. Governments are made up of people, just like you, who have been voted in by people just like you. He needs professional help.