Should I move back down South?

[Lonelylockdown22]

I moved North 3 and a half years ago to be closer to a family member and because I was struggling with my mental health. However, I've never felt like I fit in up here. I haven't made that many friends and only have a couple of friends here, I spend most weekends and days off alone and very rarely do anything socially. The family member I moved to be closer to very much has her own life here. I feel like I've never really fitted in up North and wondering whether I should just move back. It would be to London. I have a job that I could do anywhere. I don't know what to do

Anyone?

How easily will you find the things you're missing if you move back to London? If you move back and you're still lonely will that have detrimental effect on your mental health? Did you have a good social life before you moved up north?

Quite a good social life but I made the mistake of moving to a very North part of London so I was actually quite far from my friends. But a friend of mine is looking for a flatmate so living with her is a possibility. I just can't believe how my life is. I'm 28 years old and It's 8:30 on a Friday night and I'm scrolling mums net and playing scrabble online with my mum.

Can you afford a move to London? Property is a lot more expensive

We moved back from north after four years. No regrets except that we left in the first place (which was due to family health problems).

Where does your mum live? I would move back and flat share with your friend. What were the reasons you left originally?

My mum lives about 45 miles from London. We're not super close as she is pretty selfish and unreliable but we get on well most of the time.

I don't know how I'd manage financially, I earn about 27k I'd be fine renting but I think I'd struggle to get on the property ladder.

I moved because of family pressure, I was struggling with my mental health and they wanted me to move North to be closer to them. But now I've been here years, I see them maybe every two or three weeks and the rest of the time I'm alone or at a job that I hate.

Move where you're happy. Life's too short to be miserable.

I did the reverse to you, born and raised North West England but moved to Horsham as worked in and out of Gatwick.

I tried for a few years to build a friendship group but I never felt happy and hated the way of life.

I moved back near home and have never looked back.

We moved North, stayed there for ten years, despite our absolute best efforts we never cracked the North, house went on the market, in the butchers heard the neighbours saying the new people were up for sale................ we had been there ten fucking years, New people cop yourselves on FFS.........moved back down South, the mortgage increased four fold, we were crippled for years and years....

BEST THING WE EVER DID.

@DoorstoManual so you didn't regret it despite the huge mortgage?

I moved temporarily to the Midlands in my twenties, I spent my childhood around Finsbury park and from 10 I was in and around Hastings.
I hated it, but life happens and I ended up stuck there for a over a decade, I moved to Kent last year and even though it's not what I knew I am so much happier.
It's silly things like the accent, the vernacular, even the body language is slightly different and it matters.

Don't drag it out if you're miserable, you won't gain anything but wasted time and a loss of self esteem

Absoulutely not.

The years where the mortgage was crippling and we could afford to just live, made sure we factored in wine and beer, because we could afford very little else, ergo staying in for what felt like forever felt doable with wine and beer,once a month we had a takeaway and it didn't feel too hard.

Would I do it again................???

In a heart beat.

As someone who has moved constantly all my life, it is very alienating to be somewhere you don’t fit in. The differences between different areas of the country can be much bigger than expected . It can be very lonely and alienating to live somewhere where you have no roots, and no support group.
Life is too short to struggle on feeling unhappy and isolated.

@KatherineParr4 this is literally exactly how I feel.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to move to London and live with my friend. I'm so unhappy here, it can't continue.

I moved to the Midlands four years ago and I don't fit in. I'll be moving as soon as I'm able. I did not realise the tiny differences can mean everything. Good luck OP.

Good for you OP

@mayormaynot I completely understand because that's what I've found and although I've stayed in England, I don't fit in up north at all. There are some things I really like, I do find it friendlier up here and it's nice that's strangers talk to each other, I will miss that. Where will you be moving back to @mayormaynot?

That depends on a lot but I expect London/Surrey/Hampshire! And I miss the sea so much.