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Why do I bother trying?

2 replies

gutted3245 · 16/07/2020 20:43

I have a v difficult relationship with parts of my family . My mum’s mum is convent educated, very old fashioned views, very opinionated. Thinks nothing of ranting down the phone for hours about whatever the catholic church is annoyed about this week ... She’s always been a bit funny with myself and cousins - will tell you if she doesn’t like your hair, weight, clothes and never relaxes much . She’s lovely but it’s hard sometimes . As she’s getting older and older I’m the only grandchild that lives close enough to visit regularly ...

I organised her what I hoped was a lovely surprise recently - she’d been complaining about her photo albums, they were in a state and thousands of photos dating back to early 20th century . So I organised them, put them on a DVD disc and added some music to it . Quite chuffed as I’ve never done that before .

Gave to her - said brilliant but the photos aren’t angled right . I didn’t have the energy to scan each individual slide or photo and try to sharpen them... I did just photograph a lot with my phone - so that’s not obviously brilliant for a couple, I think you can actually see my phone reflecting off one (!!), but you can see the photo even if it appears slightly weirdly angled a couple of times and surely that’s OK . I think as well the photos are so old that showing them on HD widescreen is bound to make them look slightly different . Polaroid photos and very old ones from early 20th century etc .

Anyway so now she’s asking how to fix that . I can’t think of how I can - whatever I do there’ll be some sort of mistake .

I’m gutted, I could actually cry as I’ve spent five weeks doing it - on and off - and why can’t it just be OK as it is? Half wishing I hadn’t bothered, because now when I watch it I can’t stop thinking, argh I could have done that better ... keep looking at the stack of blank dvds and considering starting again ...

OP posts:
Callybrid · 16/07/2020 22:43

Don’t start again.

You made a thoughtful present, you gave it in good heart. That’s your part over. How she receives it is up to her.

I recommend reading ‘Everything Isn’t Terrible’ by Kathleen Smith, which focuses in on differentiating your feelings from your thoughts and not acting on anxiety-based responses, wrt family situations and other situations.

I also recommend taking the energy you’re putting into worrying about the dvd and putting that into doing something nice for yourself instead now!

Shizzlestix · 16/07/2020 23:07

This is going to sound harsh, sorry. Perhaps you could have scanned them then stuck them in? Your idea is so lovely and I would have been delighted to get it. I think she’s being fussy, but taking pictures of old photos might not give you the best result.

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