Daft things children (of all ages) say

[AmberAndAlexsMum]

I'm sitting here, just thinking (as you do) and for some reason I remembered something my son said to me once, that has made me giggle again:

He was upstairs, wrestling with the vacuum cleaner (which, at the time was one of those useless Dyson cordless things), trying to clean his rooms and it kept losing suction.

Eventually, in frustration, he yelled down the stairs;

"Mum, this vacuum cleaner sucks !! "

To which I replied;

"Yes, dear, it's supposed to"

Not long after I replaced the useless cleaner with a Hetty cleaner and have had no problems with that ever since.

Anyone got any other gigglers to cheer everyone up?

Dd13 is currently on day three of a silence strike. She's not talking until Aliens talk to us. I'm like that "...okay" meme.

DD1 was pretending to do my DMum's hair and just making hairdresser chat "yes, I have a dog, but he's dead at the moment."

DD2 was talking to her doll "I love you Dolly, even though you're plastic." and playing with her cousin "let's pretend we're dead." What a shit game.

Ds2 came out with one yesterday. Currently going through a stage if what can only be described as buggering about during meals (you know , not quite so naughty he gets a consequence but permanently skirting the line to slowly erode my sanity) and he started to push me a bit too far and got the "tone" to sit properly and eat.

There was a beat , then

"Mummy have I told you how beautiful you are today ? " nice try kid , not going to work get eating.

My two occasionally sound like an obsequious Jeremy paxman (I'll let that image sit and disturb you for a while) and I'm convinced it's because they think if I'm hiding the fact I am trying not to laugh I won't give them a consequence (they may or may not on the odd occasion have got that absolutely right !)

Not really daft but mortifying!

Took my son shopping in our town centre in a particular shop we were walking to the tills when we passed 3 aisian women in burkas.. He shouted arghhh ninjas and his behind me with a karate pose🙈. He said they looked like those on Justin time when they go on a time travel ans meet ninjas. I couldn't make eye contact and couldn't muster an explanation for him 😬

My 3 year old is going through a really cute phase at the moment. Today he told me 'you are beautiful mummy...beautiful like a swamp.' Hmmmm. And when he learnt what a freckle was he got it mixed up with the word nipple. It was rather amusing when he exclaimed 'mummy look at all the nipples on your arm!' 😂

My daughter announced ”you really love cleaning the house mummy, you're always doing it”

4 year old DD told me that she’s going to live with me and her daddy in this house forever and ever, and when we die she’ll miss us, but it’s ok cos she’ll bury us in the garden with the pet rabbit so we won’t be far away 🙈

Dd 6 is going to live in our house forever. She is going to have a baby and still live here. Baby won't have a daddy though because that would mean kissing on the lips which is disgusting.

9yo: Daddy, ever since i've known you, you've had a beard.

Totally deadpan. What a Wally

My niece said "Look, mum. I've known dad longer than you have. "

?

"You've just known him since college, and I've known him my whole life."

She is nine