Struggling to support DH

[Thisyearcandoone]

To cut a long story short, he's worked his arse off during lockdown, one of only a few staff who were not furloughed. He did this in our lounge as we don't have space for an office. I worked also and home educated both the kids. DH worked his bloody socks off, lost weight, stressed etc.
Now, he's under the redundancy process. It's awful, two weeks into a 5 week process. His stress is through the roof. I am genuinely at a loss as to how to support him. I've done all the practical stuff, CV, job searches, payment calculations etc but he is so stressed and on such a downer I just don't know what else to do. Me and kids can literally cannot do or say anything right. Summer hols start Fri and I'm just dreading it.
How can I support him through this?

I can't help you I'm afraid, but came on to say I know exactly how you feel. My DH has not had work since March, has a mother with worsening dementia & lots of other stuff going on. He barely smiles these days & I don't know how to handle it any more.

I hope your DH finds work soon

Oh lord that is very hard.
Clearly OP you have been doing your best but at a certain point you need to tell him that he can't continue to dominate the house with his stress.
He has to learn to manage it.
The children can not become distressed because he is not controlling his moods.

Be sympathetic but very very firm.

Having limitless sympathy will cause you long term resentment when you have been trying so hard.

He needs to buck up and calm down.

Making the whole family go through hell will not change the situation.

All it will do is alienate you and the children.

So sorry, hope things improve soon.

We did have a talk last night and I explained how I felt and how I was struggling to support him.

He invited a couple mates around and had a beer in the garden while I went cycling and he seemed much happier when I got back - maybe knowing he has support from friends as well as me and family helps?

The whole thing is shit show - two weeks to go until we know if he is redundant. Just wish they would say now. Summer hols have started and he's working in the lounge. Wish me luck!!!

To a certain extent - and I don't mean this as harshly as it sounds - you are enabling him in this though. Why isn't he looking for jobs etc?

I'd also suggest that he goes to see the GP to see if he can get any (temporary?) help with anti-depressants.

Sounds like you have been having a tough time too, so you also need to make sure you're looking after yourself. How much is your DH helping you?

OP, well done for telling him how you feel.
Many people are under huge stress working from home and manage not to make life hell for everyone around them.

Wishing you the best👍