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Section 7 and Final Hearing

17 replies

NameChangerinDespair · 14/07/2020 16:44

I have been told the recommendations of the Section 7 today, though I haven't yet been given a copy of the report. They are recommending that they remain in the care of my ExH, even though I have been the Primary Carer since he left four years ago. He retained them after routine contact at the start of lockdown, I think having been given a strong nudge to do so by SWs. He didn't allow me to see them for seven weeks. There was some LA involvement but the Children had remained with me in our home whilst I was doing what was needed and I have fully engaged with what they have asked of me personally and the house. It's a long story ... Does anyone know of similar cases where the Judge has gone against Section 7 and the Children have been returned? I am very despondent.

Also in Legal but here for traffic.

OP posts:
NameChangerinDespair · 14/07/2020 19:36

Bump

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NameChangerinDespair · 15/07/2020 17:06

.

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LoisLittsLover · 15/07/2020 17:10

It's reasonably rare in my experience for a judge to completely ignore the recommendation. They may tweak recommendations around frequency of or arrangements for contact, but to ignore a recommendation for residence arrangements is rare. If they don't agree it would be more usual for them to seek different information or an adendum report.

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NameChangerinDespair · 15/07/2020 22:46

Thanks @LoisLittsLover. The whole process has been telescoped as they will be moving Cities/Schools if he retains Residency and they need to know by mid-August. There won't be time for further reports.

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NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 16:09

Pls. I am feeling so hopeless.

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LoisLittsLover · 16/07/2020 16:59

Are you both representing yourselves?

NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 17:10

He has a Solicitor. I have a Solicitor and have provisionally booked a Barrister. We haven't yet been given the report, just told a summary of the recommendations, and so my Solicitor hasn't been able to see how it has been done, if there are obvious omissions, that sort of thing.

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brababab · 16/07/2020 17:20

Name changed for this. There's a group on Facebook called survivor diaries. The lady who runs it is a family sol and will help. I found it when I was in a similar position. Was very helpful. I found her through YouTube.

brababab · 16/07/2020 17:21

Was there any domestic abuse involved?

Badmemorieshouse · 16/07/2020 17:25

Can you more details so that we can help? Understand if you don’t want to, but without more information it’s impossible to advise

lakesidesummer · 16/07/2020 17:35

It would be unusual for a recommendation to be ignored, particularly if there had been social services involvement along the way.
What advice are you getting from your legal team?

NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 20:08

@brababab is it just if there has been domestic abuse? He broke my finger years ago but I never said it was him. He was arrested once for DV on his new Partner and the Police called out a second time

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NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 20:29

@Badmemorieshouse I am a hoarder by instinct and have always had a lot of stuff. However, especially in the wake of my Ex leaving and having 4 Children under 9, going back to work FT, various court cases as he stopped paying the mortgage, challenged CMS, etc. etc. the house got out of control. It was horrid, I admitted to it. However, my Children were still clean and fed, high achievers, personable, engaged, etc. SWs became involved. My ExH had left lots of DiY undone, which didn't help.

At first, they focused on the house but then on more nebulous things, like my mental health. Hoarding is often related to loss, and I had had a Stillbirth. The second set escalated from CiN to CPP, even though there had been substantial progress in the house since the date involvement started. Even now, the Children remained with me in the house as I worked on it, nothing was said at the ICPC about removing them and I have met all the targets I had to from it in the correct time.

I had flagged-up only six weeks or so in that there were communication problems with the second set and, at the ICPC, asked for different ones, which wasn't granted. They seemed to take my ExH at his own estimation and, at things like Core Meetings, shut me down when I tried to raise things.

Then, just as lockdown started, my ExH retained them after routine contact, according to his second ExH, at the instigation of the SW.

He left me for someone else and has been pretty uninvolved over the last four years, mucking around with contact, money (even with CMS), prioritising his Step Daughter ... now, suddenly, he wants them to move City and Schools.

Also, my 13 year old has gone from merely being an awkward Teen to rejecting me, refusing contact, being horrible, saying, unchecked, how I have been a complete failure as a Parent. Again, I have been engaged in things like parenting courses, admitting that there is always stuff to learn and when I had reacted to her lashing out by lashing back, it hadn't been appropriate but, again, this had been known about by the SWs, and they had still been left with me.

As I said, I haven't had the report but, as far as I can tell, the SWs haven't spoken to people like School and never to me about their context and support systems here, that sort of thing.

For over four years, I feel I carried all this alone, and worked hard for my Children, even if I didn't get it all right, with my ExH actively making things harder and now, it is only what I failed at that is being noted and he is being seen as a hero.

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NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 20:37

Forgot to say, the Hoarding Specialist and CBR Counsellor are both very positive about my engagement and long-term, sustainable changes, but Ineas only put in touch with them by the SWs in late April ...

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NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 20:43

*I was

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Oddgirlout · 16/07/2020 21:52

Hi OP, bumping this for you. Xxx

NameChangerinDespair · 16/07/2020 22:24

Thanks, @Oddgirlout

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