Same sex parents

[Deen198]

Hello
Can anyone help with same sex parents who are not married but starting a family. I will be carrying my girlfriends child with a sperm donor. Its unclear If my partner will have any legal rights or will be allowed to be named on the birth certificate if we are not married. Can anyone help please?

I haven’t been in your situation but have a close friend that has. She had 3 children by ivf and her partner (not married) is named on their birth certificates.

There is a section on LGBT parents under parenting where you might find some info.

Not in your situation exactly, but my DW and I are considering this, so have some knowledge on the subject.

From what I know, if you're married then the non biologocal mum is automatically named on the birth certificate, but if you're not married, it becomes more complicated.

I know you used to have to legally adopt to be recognised as a legal parent.

Are you planning on marrying in the future, OP?

Did you use official channels (a clinic) for your donor sperm or was it a private arrangement?

If you used a clinic your partner will also legally be the babies son/daughter, if you didn’t use a clinic and had a private arrangement with someone then your partner isn’t automatically the babies parent.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/gay-health-having-children/

I think from what you've said you're looking at "shared motherhood", where you use your partners egg and a donor sperm, and the resulting embryo is transferred into your uterus and you carry the baby?

If so, you'll have to do it at a clinic, and they'll make sure the correct paperwork is signed according to whether you're married or not.

I don't think this is an option via an NHS fertility centre, but is a standard option for most private clinics. It's not cheap though unfortunately, at our clinic (Midlands) it's in the region of £1000 for initial consultation and blood test, £1000 for donor sperm, £7000 for the actual treatment and anywhere in the region of £500 - £1000 for the drugs. Our clinic is part of a chain and displays the prices on the website.

Between us we've been through most types of fertility treatment that 2 women can go through (apart from fresh shared motherhood, although we did try a few times to get DW pregnant with my embryos) so happy to answer any other questions. We now have a lovely DS and are trying for our second child.

Also meant to say I know people who have found a donor and done home insemination and because they weren't married the non-bio mum has had to apply for an adoption order through the courts. So there are options for you if you don't want to go via a clinic.