What time do you expect your 16 yr old to be home by?

[BrandNewShinyThings]

DS has been meeting his mates at the park, he's been coming home later and later, I've said 10pm latest to be home. He bikes there and back, he's got lights. Just curious what time you expect your 16 yr old to be in by?

I don’t get the park hate either even into the evening / night, where are they meant to go at the moment? Everywhere’s closed and it’s not remotely healthy for them to be in all the time

10pm seems about right then, thanks

@helloworlditsme

I don’t get the park hate either even into the evening / night, where are they meant to go at the moment? Everywhere’s closed and it’s not remotely healthy for them to be in all the time

Quite. I was worried about his mental health a few weeks ago so I'm delighted he's contacted his mates and they're having fun together.

DS is about to turn 16. I would generally say 10, but would allow later for a good reason, eg going to see his friend playing in a band, event was at a church hall. He is allowed later if we agree where, and a time to be home.

I think it depends on the situation/what they’re up to.

Midnight from coming back from a gig.

Maybe 9:00 if hanging out in the local park. I’m not a huge fan of kids just hanging around especially after dark.

On his bike? 10 pm. At a friend’s house - later

Sometimes he Loiters Around The Park.

When mine were 16, they'd be expected to be in before dark, except for all the evenings they were doing something specific.
It isn't about bed time, it is about 'hanging around.
In the day / early evening hey could meet mates in the park but not randomly at night.

These posts terrify me , it's still just over 4 years until my daughter is 16 , but the thought of her still out at 10/11/midnight !! I'm sure a lot will change and she will mature a lot in those years but parenting a teen seems scarier than any other stage so far .

8.30 seems ridiculously early for 16! When I was 16 in 1990 I had to be in around 11. Other friends of mine could stay out later. By 17 I could come in any time I wanted. I remember often rolling in around 3 or 4am. They were the best years of my life, full of adventure. 8.30!

@emelsie

These posts terrify me , it's still just over 4 years until my daughter is 16 , but the thought of her still out at 10/11/midnight !! I'm sure a lot will change and she will mature a lot in those years but parenting a teen seems scarier than any other stage so far .

Its knowing when and how much to let go that is difficult, especially when its for the first time. I think this has been a difficult time for teenagers, at a time when they would normally have finished their exams and be spreading their wings, instead they have been shut away from the world for weeks. I'm actually really proud of DS, he had the courage to reach out to his friends despite expressing his fears to me that they might have forgotten him during lockdown. He has had anxiety issues over the years and I'm actually delighted he's out and about, its just navigating your way around putting the boundaries in place. He's a god lad and if I said be home by 9pm he would do it, but will stick with 10pm for now and see what happens.

DS (15) does exactly this. Bikes to park with mates, occasionally along to next village. He's supposed to be in for 10.00pm...but frequently phones to say time ran away with them and they're pedalling home now. Always in by 10:30..

@BlessYourCottonSocks

DS (15) does exactly this. Bikes to park with mates, occasionally along to next village. He's supposed to be in for 10.00pm...but frequently phones to say time ran away with them and they're pedalling home now. Always in by 10:30..

That is reassuring thank you

My 16yr old can stay out till 10pm during the week, but 11pm at weekends.

At the moment while it's light nights dd who is nearly 16 has to be in by 10, we live in a village and she walks home with her friend who lives on the next estate.

Yes I can imagine it's difficult getting the balance right , I think i will find it hard , but sounds like you are doing a great job and it's great he is getting out and socialising with friends rather than stuck on screen all evening .

In the circumstances you're describing, I think 10pm is perfect. The summer I turned 16 I'd be clubbing with friends till 2am on a Saturday. I was far more street smart than my ds is currently at 14, and the world is very different now, but I completely agree that teenagerdom is as much a learning experience for parents as it is for them!

Ds(16) is usually out until 10ish. It isn't a firm deadline, he and his friends are usually at the astro turf playing football not just wandering or hanging around, it is a safe area and there are no signs of problems in his group with drinking etc, so if he's a bit later I dont have a problem.

At 16 he's officially an adult in Scotland.

My ds is almost 16 and sounds very much like yours op. He hangs out with a good bunch of lads, usually playing basketball or at the park/fields. He's usually home by 10pm on a weeknight, maybe 10.30 at weekends