And on top of everything else now, visitors!

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

For the last 4 months I've worked full time in a challenging job, simultaneously been a child-carer /teacher full time, cooked almost every meal we've eaten, done the cleaning my cleaner should have been doing, done the cleaning that ordinarily didn't exist with us all out at work/school/nursery during the week, and engaged in a never ending cycle of loading and unloading the dishwasher.

And now, to top it all, we can have visitors again. I know I should be thrilled, I know many people are desperate to see loved ones, but on top of everything else I know have to make the house presentable, myself presentable, and my DC presentable, actually no not possible when until now the only saving grace is that I've known that nobody will pop round, and even if they did they weren't expecting to come in.

The cleaner is recently back but only for 2 hours (otherwise keeping DC out from under her feet whilst simultaneously working was a non-starter) which isn't making a huge difference to how much needs done.

Urgh.

I know I'm being unreasonable, and unsociable, and unkind but I really feel like another thing I'm meant to do has been added to the list and I was barely coping to start with.

Just because you’re allowed to have visitors doesn’t mean that you have to. Has someone asked to visit you/ is there someone you want to see inside your home? If it’s easier and doesn’t add any extra stress to your life why not just continue to meet outside if possible?

I feel a general expectation now june, there is a degree of catching up with various people (e.g. relatives, but the sort who have 'visitor' status, not close family) to be done.

I feel bad too, whilst I'm quite happy with my own company relatives really want to see us, and it feels very churlish to put them off now.

Tell them you are only socialising in the garden and just clean the route to the downstairs loo! It has to be one of the positives of lockdown, not being visitor ready! Or go to them. 'Oh no we have had enough of the house we will come to you/meet at the park.'

Are you referring to yourself as a childcarer/teacher meaning you've been looking after your DC?

You don't have to if you don't want to - lots of people still feel uncomfortable about seeing others.

I hear you!

I know exactly what you mean! I get that this has been an awful time and have felt bad benefitting from a horrible situation but not being able to have a constant stream of visitors turning up (sometimes unannounced) has been utter bliss! I am starting to feel the pressure a lot bit too OP. Nobody has directly asked me but I've started picking up on subtle hints from friends and relatives. I like you am happy in my own company and with DH. All you can say is that you are still shielding and not having any visitors or visiting anyone for a while yet.

There's a real time shortage too, I'm sure there's lots of us juggling what feels like 3 jobs and having a couple of hours to myself would be simply amazing without making time to entertain others. God I sound so selfish but I'm not sure I can cope with much more.

I'm an introvert (as in I don't derive my energy from others) and I've loved wearing a face mask and social distancing. The doorbell has gone quiet (apart from Ms Hermes who leaves on the mat and legs it) and nobody has pestered me to meet up/go out/do lunch etc, etc. I feel private and anonymous in my big mask and glasses and I'm dreading having to emerge after 4 months. I don't want to touch near strangers (or, even worse, have them move in for a hug or air kiss) or indulge in meaningless chat. My close family is enough for me - god, I'm a miserable old cow

I absolutely agree. I have kind of been simultaneously doing 2 full time jobs (my actual job and teaching my DC). There isn't time for cleaning the house. I used to do that on my days off work in the week (it's a shift job so I usually work on weekends and have days off in the week) while DH was at work and DC at school. That hasn't happened since March. My mum invited herself round later this week. I don't have time to get the house in a suitable state for other people to see. I also don't have the mental strength and headspace for other people.

Hiya op...

Just stop!!!!!
I had a load of this as lockdown started to ease! My dp is so bloody polite he kept letting people in, we started having his 'friends' actually just walking in and expecting to have a drink/chat whatever.
.....so, I got a big black marker and wrote "NO VISITORS" on a piece of paper and stuck it to the door....
I would share a photo but waaaayyyyy too outing.

Since then op, no unexpected visitors.

And ive learned "No"
Just simply "No, were not having any visitors"
Ive said there's a clear sign on the door, if the door is knocked and i dont want to answer i don't.

Ive learned my boundaries and not to let CF overstep them any longer.

Its certainly put people straight and in place, do it for you. Do it for your own sanity!

......if all this fails, tell them someone in your household has shown slight covid symptoms and are isolation for 2 weeks and to fuck right off

Tell your visitors no. Seriously.

Just because they can pop by, doesn't mean its ok for you.

Yeah just cough as they come up the drive

I hear ya.

I loved being able to meet up outside only. I don’t want people back in my house.

@lifestooshort123 yep, it's been great hasn't it!

Thanks everyone.

I think people mean well, but if you naturally enjoy the company of others and have a less hectic life in lockdown I can see why they think it's ok. It's a bit like post-birth visitors, the peak visitor flow seemed to coincide with the worst possible time to have to entertain people!