Do you ever look around and wonder where everyone else suddenly found adulthood?

[DollyMixtureLulus]

I can't work out how to have a relationship.
I'd love a dog but it wouldn't be fair on it to live in a flat and I work too many hours. I also don't think I could afford insurance etc.
I'd love to travel but also can barely afford it.

Yet I look around and see my peers living in 4 bedroom houses, with extravagant weddings, amazing holidays, pets, etc.

Do any of you know the secret?!

I'd love a dog but it wouldn't be fair on it to live in a flat and I work too many hours

That IS adult thinking, though! You're being mature and responsible and not getting a dog at the moment, because you're putting the needs of the dog before your own wants. I hope you can get one in future and I'm sure you will someday - it's a fairly modest goal after all.

I think adulthood arrives gradually. What age are you OP?

Their parents give them money or they inherit it. Watch Location... they all seem to inherit their money or have been saving for years

I'm 29 in a few weeks. I feel adulthood should be here by now

What do you mean by you can't work out how to have a relationship, OP?

Do you mean you've had relationships but none of them have worked out? You don't get past the second date? You feel you lack social skills? You've got sex issues? Something else?

You don't get past the second date? You feel you lack social skills? You've got sex issues? Something else?

All of the above, plus a whopping inferiority complex and the self esteem of a chocolate teapot.

Adulthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! Enjoy your freedom while you can, and don’t settle for anyone less than you deserve.

Their parents give them money or they inherit it.

For many, many of us, that is simply just not true. I worked my arse off and didn't waste my money from a young age.

All of the above

If it makes you feel any better, I'm similar... and I'm ten years older so I wouldn't worry!

I think work on your self esteem and social skills - I like self-help books but there's plenty of advice online too.

Is there something specific you feel you're going wrong with socially, or do you think it's your lack of confidence?

I know social media etc but my peers seem to have so much disposable income. I live so much more frugally.

Is there something specific you feel you're going wrong with socially, or do you think it's your lack of confidence?

My social life is in a bit of a bad patch, tbh. My friends have all settled down, so spontaneous nights out are a thing of the past. I'm crap at organised dating. I'm aware it's going badly and that's making the cycle get worse.

Hmm, have you tried the Meetup app? I find going to interesting things with likeminded people is good because you don't have that 'first date interview' scenario going on and can just relax and form friendships. There are singles groups, but there are also all sorts of random hobby and learning and social groups too, and you don't know where they'll lead.

There are lots of financial benefits to being in a couple so I wouldn't measure yourself against them (or anyone for that matter).

It is hard as people couple up, but as much as I'd love to halve my outgoings, I've resolved not to settle down until I find someone amazing. I've dated a lot of losers and weirdos over the years, and I'm sure I fall under that category for many of them too!

I'm sure I fall under that category for many of them too!

Don't beat yourself up

I haven't heard of Meetup. I'll take a look, thank you.

Most people post only the good stuff.. Imagine how long it takes to get the ahem perfect photo. Its all utter bollocks.
Be happy with you.. Dont aspire to the perceived perfection of others. Chances are they want what you have.. Total waste of your time

Good lord Dolly - I'm significantly older than you (so significantly that I'm not prepared to disclose!) and I'm still waiting for adulthood to arrive! In fact, just this week I had the following convo with my dd (25):

Dd: I worry about you when you say things like that.
Me: Don't be daft, you don't need to worry about me, I'm supposed to worry about you. I'm the adult here you know.
Dd: Well yes, biologically you're the adult but ...

So I'm sure you have plenty of time, and it will happen, but don't rush it!

36 with two kids and a DH. We have grown up things like a tax man, shares, savings, and health/life insurance but I still wonder who left us in charge some days.
I often feel like our friends are more adultier and wonder when I'll be a proper grown up!

Blimey OP I thought you were going to say that you were 40 not 29!

Parents lending a deposit for a house helps. Combined finances make a big difference. Two can live as cheaply as one and all that. Having well paid jobs and getting promoted

All this happened to me after turning 30.