How do I bring this up politely?

[faithfulbird]

My husband recently bought an expensive toy for my DD aged 3. My husbands sister video called him and saw it. Her daughter who is 7 immediately went uncle I want one too. Hubby was like you're to old for it and then felt guilty. Now guess what? He's going to buy it for her. At first I was okay with it but was irked because sister in law is very greedy and sly. Plus we've never spent that much on a present for our own daughter. It was her first time. Hubby didn't have a permanent job and she had to wait till money came in. It's not fair on my daughter. If my husband treats her and his niece the same what is the point? Things will become meaningless. She has her own dad who should buy her stuff. Plus we just gave them a lot of presents clothes, shoes etc last time we saw them. Took them out to eat etc. Never expect anything in return. How do I tell my husband to leave it for now? We'll get her something later. She lives overseas btw.

How do I tell my husband to leave it for now? We'll get her something later.

You literally just say “we’ll leave it for now. We’ll get her something later.”

Meh life's too short.
He is an uncle as well as a dad.

He is an uncle as well as a dad.

Which is an entirely different relationship. Nieces and nephews don’t get the same spent on them as your own Dc and certainly not just because they see something and demand it!

If niece asks again say they were sold out

I messed it up by saying well if you're going to get her something then get her brother something too. It's only fair. I wish I hadn't because I was just so shocked. The child and her mother have a habit like this. They'll want anything you have. Should I just be like don't get it now...get it later? Or should I make a fuss about how our daughter got that for the first time...because I know I will...it's just horrible...

I don't want hubby to take it personally because I know he will. Like I'm jealous of the kids or something or mean hearted. I'm not. I just don't like them being greedy, wanting whatever my daughter has. It's all about the delivery of my words I guess. So what shall I say?

Threaten to buy something really expensive for your mum/dad/sibling/whoever on your side of the family. That'll shut him up.

just say I assume you only said yes to niece because you were put on the spot by her. With hindsight I am sure you agree it's just not on

Give her some money towards it, she can then either save up or her parents can add the rest.

I'd not start playing that game In my book I want doesn't get but in this case Id have been telling her it was something to ask her Daddy /Mummy for

Eh? What's the present? It's a pretty sizeable age gap so I'd assume most 7yr olds wouldn't be that interested in a 3yr olds toys? I'd just have said 'aww, maybe your mum can get you one too, if you like it?'... Not 'Oh yes, yes, I'll buy and ship one to you directly then' 🙄. Just say 'No', it's in a 7yr olds understanding to comprehend that for example they may love ponies, but nobody is buying them one on that basis.