Compulsive liars - why do they do it and do you know any?

[Dyingflowers]

By the time I ended out ten year relationship I didn’t know who my ex was. Big lies, small pathetic lies. Multiple conversations around the same lie, keeping the lie up even when when he’d been found out.

Why do they do it? Do you think they feel shame? I don’t think my ex did. I think he just got annoyed I’d found him out.

Do you think compulsive liars can ever change?

I think they do it for attention, the must be very insecure. And it’s a compulsion

XH

He's lie about anythung and everything. And if ever caught out was always blaming me for the need to lie because I'd give him such a hard time. I didn't - it was a way to grind me down towards giving him a free pass IYSWIM. Because even when a trivial issue and I was being exceptionallly clear that I wasn't bothered by the issue but the lie, his narrative didn't change.

He had a long affair too. That probably was a final factor which meant lying became his personality.

I know someone with a :factitious personality disirder'. She told so many lies leaving a trail of destruction behind her including the removal of two of her children due to emotional harm. She's still at it now having flitted to the other side of the world. Awful woman. Was offered help but chose to run instead.

Ex would tell all sorts of lies.

Various reasons for it. Usually to benefit his ego. More often than not, it was to make something normal sound dramatic so he could tell everyone this big dramatic story and be the centre of attention. Other times it would be so he could change plans at the drop of a hat. He'd deny making arrangements, he'd tell people he was ill, he'd say his kids were ill.

Loads of people believe him. I've found a lot of people just take for granted that people are generally telling the truth. Since I noticed it though, I now see that it's constant. Every time he talks about some new drama I can see the holes in his story. I heard him a couple of weeks ago and his story contradicted itself. I mentioned it to a friend who pretty much said he wouldn't have noticed the contradiction but it's obvious now I've mentioned it.

I think he's just an incredibly selfish man who desperately needs attention from people. One day all the people he's lied to and used will see it too.

I think a lot of people don't have a super clear boundary between imagination and memory. They start telling a story about what happened and end up just telling a good story. But most people have a grip on what 'really happened' for the most part and are aware when they've gone off the truth in general, if they think about it.

But apparently 10 -16% of people have this quirk where they come to believe their own lies, by telling them. www.scienceofpeople.com/9-things-know-liars/

My ex was like this, "why tell the truth when a lie will do" seemed to be his life's motto. So glad he is my ex now, it was exhausting being married to someone whose word could never be trusted.