My lovely friend lost her DH a month ago in horrific circumstances. We've been trying to support her, whilst being acutely aware that nothing we can do or say can make this better. We’re making sure she eats and attends her basic needs and occasionally she will come out for a short walk, but otherwise she is, understandably, utterly heartbroken and unable to function. They had no children and she feels she has nothing to live for and no desire to build a new life. She has frequent suicidal thoughts but has said she will not go through with them.
She’s signed up for a well-known bereavement support group but is not finding it helpful as she says most people who post there are mirroring her own feelings of hopelessness and desperation, feeding into her belief that it will not get better and that she will be in unbearable pain for the rest of her life.
She is still young (mid thirties).
GP has prescribed sleeping pills as without them she cannot sleep / has horrific nightmares and flashbacks. Bereavement counselling has been mentioned but she is not ready.
I’m posting here (with her permission) as I wondered if any posters have been in a similar position to my friend, and if so, would you be comfortable sharing your stories, ideally positive ones; not that you “got over it” or anything like that, but about how you found the will to build that new life, the one you never wanted? Also, what kind of medium to long-term support did you find helpful / unhelpful? It feels cruel to leave her in such pain without trying to do something to help, but at the same time it feels cruel and far too soon to encourage her to try and do things. We've made tentative plans to start going running next week to keep up her physical health (hopefully with a some kind of positive mental effect, however small) but that's as much as I think she can manage at present.
Thanks 