One of my friends who I adore and have known for a long time is not a great conversationalist! I don’t mind generally and I have fun with her regardless, but I wondered if anyone else had friendships like this and if they ever feel like they are hard work/one sided.
Something that I find a bit annoying is that she will never ask me anything about myself. Even down to reciprocating questions such as me asking ‘how was your day?’ Her reply will will never include ‘how was yours?’ At the end.
I am the conversation starter always when we are together. I generally don’t mind as I am quite happy to ask her about stuff which I will then contribute to as she answers. I’m also genuinely interested in her life. But she never makes small talk, asks about my life or for my opinion on anything.
In terms of her replies to my chat - she’s really open and seems to enjoy telling me about her life and answering my questions about dating/work/whatever and we often laugh while chatting about her stuff (I’m basically saying it’s not ever awkward). She wouldn’t ask for my advice directly but frequently says stuff like ‘I don’t know what to do about subject I asked her about’ which then opens up the space for me to give her my opinion.
I recently thought that I might be possibly overbearing in our conversation (I am chatty!) and she might not be able to get a word in - so tonight on our walk I made the conscious effort not to jump in and fill silences with more chat and give her the chance to say something. She didn’t say anything all and we walked in silence for a lot of the walk. I honestly don’t mind this and know being in comfortable silence with a friend is a nice thing - but it did get to a point where I was like ‘if I don’t say something soon, we won’t speak again until we say goodbye!!’
Also - I do think she likes me and enjoys my company - she is very proactive about arranging to meet up, and over text she is actually quite chatty! She will message me funny pics etc and tell me she can’t wait to see me when we have plans.
She has a lot of other friends, but we are all separate. She seems to have a lot of strong 1:1 friendships but no group and never seems to ‘mix’ her friends up so I have no comparison to make on how she chats to other people.
Anyone else in a friendship like this? Any interpretations on why some people can’t make good conversation if it isn’t shyness!? Is it just self-centredness?