Help!! In law favouritism

[Littlelantern]

Please help.... how do I get over in laws favouritism between their children and grandchildren. Sounds petty but there’s just a lot of stuff accumulating. How do you stop it eating you up and try to let it go?

I backed away and took my dc with me. We visited after school for an hour twice a week after I realised the difference in treatment and before dc were of age to notice.
Sil's dc were installed at mil's house for her getting in from work...
Mil eventually agreed to suggest sil didn't come the 2 hours a week we did. Sil never spoke to me again.
Monetary sil's dc were taken places /bought lavish gifts /received weekly pocket money. Mine got a basic gift at Xmas and birthdays..
When me and dh split the 2 older ones never saw his family by choice.
20 years post split ils have rewritten history and talk fondly of my dc. They never knew them!!

I’m sorry you’re going through this, because it hurts.

I found this article and read it over and over, particularly when I felt hurt. I also dropped all expectations and that helped, but took time!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.inquirer.com/philly/living/20161002_In-laws__favoritism_will_be_maddening_only_if_you_let_it_be.html%3foutputType=amp

My DDs nan is an absolute horror bitch for this. The worst of it is that she adores my DDs older half sisters as well as her cousins. I refused catholic boarding school when she was 2, and left ex for being a cheating and abusive arsehole and will never be forgiven. The previous ex did things so unforgivable they would be outing but her kids have always been treated like gold dust. Then exes sister had her kids, and mine was shunted even further out.

Things like all the grandchildren gets £100s or toys and games and clothes for occasions. DD will get a bag with unwrapped t shirts in a size far too big or small that she wouldn't be seen dead in. Other kids stay over and spend days and days there, DD was asked not to visit in case she had germs. The other kids are mauled for hugs and kisses and DD gets a pat on the head.

DD loathes her. From age 5 refused to attend Xmas etc at her house, refuses to make cards or anything because the disparity is so clear.

I used to go mad but I explained she's a vile old witch and it wasn't personal. It's punishing me, and to an extent her father who is not the golden child. Not DD, who has plenty of other people who adore her. My new in laws are amazing with her and spoil her silly so it matters less. The less I take notice, the less she cares. Not much else I can do.