3 year old eating habits

[bc1234]

Hi, sorry if I am posting in the incorrect place
I just need some advice and tips as I just don't know what else to do
My toddler is 3 at the end of this month, I'm really struggling with her, she refuses to try or eat anything new at all, she kicks screams tantrums, won't sit at the table etc.
She will eat plain food: cereals, hummus, crackers, ravioli pasta, banana, crisps, yoghurt etc, she's struggling with constipation but she just won't try anything new, she is SO fussy and I just don't know what to do, she loves milk and would live off it if she could
I have thought about seeing someone privately to help etc with her habits and behaviours but I don't know where to go with it!
Any help would be so appreciated i have been tearing my hair out for so long
Thank you xx

Have a look at Sarah Ockeell-Smith’s gentle eating book. Very helpful.

Give your DD a recipe book and together stick post it notes on the pages of the things she’d like to try. Then, when you make something that she’s expressed an interest in, show her the book to remind her that she chose it. I did the choosing from the recipe book thing with my Dc and they chose stuff like tuna burgers, sweetcorn fritters, enchiladas etc...
Also take her shopping and let her choose out the fruit and veg. One success I've had is with broccoli. My son wouldn't touch it with a barge pole until I got him to pick the one he wanted at the supermarket. Then we came home and he washed it and broke it into pieces and popped it into a saucepan. He made a lot of mess and water went everywhere, but he also had great fun and has eaten broccoli ever since.
I also found that when they cooked it they'd try something more adventurous. Even quite small children can help in some way.
Use exciting names for foods e.g. we call chicken in sauce 'sticky chicken' or soup 'surprise soup' or green beans 'squeaky beans' (can you hear them?) and ham up the name ... Playing with food doesn't have to be a bad thing. A child is more likely to eat a food that’s colourful, cut into fun shapes or with a dip. My children eat things that they wouldn’t normally eat if it’s on a skewer! We also had a cheese fondue at New Year and they were dipping things that they’d normally turn their nose up at. We also used to pretend we're dinosaurs eating trees when we eat broccoli – adds a bit of fun to the meal!
We've explained about vitamins and minerals and how they help your body grow and stay healthy. My DD will now eat mushrooms because she is desperate to be a big girl. And DS will flex his muscles when he's eaten a lot of veg!
A child needs to be somewhat hungry to enjoy their meal, so try offering only water or diluted juice for drinks and snacks of fresh fruit or veg between meals.
When mealtimes are becoming a misery or a battle ground then change the scene. Have tea in a tent or at a small table on tiny chairs with teddies attending.
Take a basic food that she loves e.g. bread, and add new things to it bit by bit – so try bread and cheese then eggy bread, then eggs and soldiers.
Introduce a new food very gradually alongside a food she already eats, and don’t rush from one food or texture to the next. I used fish cakes to gradually get my DS to eat fish. First I started with about 90% potato and only 10% fish! I gradually increased the proportion of fish to potato and I don't think he noticed.
I also got him eating eggs by starting with savoury pancakes and gradually turning them into omelettes! I also did fried rice with only a tiny bit of egg in at first and slowly increased the egg. He now is fine with scrambled egg on toast and omelettes, and I've started doing quiches, but he still won't touch boiled, poached or fried.
We moved from chicken nuggets to nuggets with less breading to pieces of a grilled chicken breast and eventually to chicken with noodles or rice.
Stick with it. You've probably heard it before: apparently a child has to try something 6 times before they accept it and ten to 15 times before they like it.

Even if she doesn’t accept the food the first time you serve it for dinner, she might the next time. Apparently it can take up to 10-15 tastes of a new food before your child gets used to it, so it’s worth persevering to widen the range of things she will happily eat.
Serve small portions. Children might be overwhelmed by a large portion of a food that’s unfamiliar or not their favourite. Also you’ll waste less food.
Try to eat all meals together. Your DD is more likely to copy good eating habits from other family members.
If you know another child who’s an adventurous eater, invite them round for tea – watching them eat different food might just encourage your dd to join in.
Many children will use food refusal as a way to get your attention or a reaction. If she’s not underweight, eating at least some foods from each of the groups, then you shouldn’t worry too much. If she sees you get agitated, or if you try to force her to eat, this could make the situation worse. Also, try not to worry about her making a mess!

DS has restricted eating due to ARFID and ASD, he sees a dietician but their advice is applicable to all children, not just children with additional needs.

• don't make mealtimes into a battle. There should be no persuading, no begging, no cajoling, no "just taste it" or "just one more bite"

• serve meals family style where possible where everyone helps themselves from shared dishes in the centre if the table, that way everyone can control the amount and combination of what they eat

• a meal should be put out and then after a reasonable amount of time, say 30-40 minutes, cleared away without comment. Obviously don't clear it away if they're still eating but if they're refusing to eat or have only eaten a tiny bit then it's pointless dragging it out

• the main meal of the day should have two courses, a main meal followed by a basic dessert such as fruit or yoghurt. For us this meal is dinner. The second course is given alongside the first and there are no strings or conditions attached, they get the dessert regardless of how much main has been eaten as it is one complete meal. The idea behind it is that the child gets enough calories across the two courses

• following on from the above, never use food as a bargaining tool, a reward, or a punishment

• make sure every meal has 1-2 'safe' foods that you know will almost definitely be eaten that way there is never nothing that the child can/will eat

• if nothing is eaten or very little then try stretch them to the next meal time before offering anything else but if they are very hungry or it's going to be a long time until the next meal (e.g., from dinner through to breakfast) then around an hour after the reject meal you should offer a basic snack such as fruit, toast, cheese and crackers, veggie sticks and dip, etc.

• involve the child in meal prep, encourage them to touch, chop, stir, etc

• lastly, make sure they get two cups of milk and a good multivitamin daily to cover all of their nutritional bases and know that for the majority of children this stage passes sooner or later.

Sorry if this seems basic as the other suggestions seem to be much more in depth, but have you tried a sticker chart? My 3 year old will do anything for a sticker. So choose a new food once a week or every few days e.g. sweetcorn. That day explain that at dinner time you're going to try sweetcorn. Talk a little bit about where it comes from, what colour and shape it is etc. let her chose what she wants to have it with and be very positive about it. If she tries it (even a tiny teeny bite) then she gets a sticker. If she decides she doesnt want to try it "OK that's fine, maybe next time you will get a sticker " nd let her eat the rest of her dinner.

I am just suggesting what I think would work with my 3yo but it's not an official method or anything.

Thank you all so much for these suggestions I'm going to give it all ago a see how we get on... I've tried so much and I really worry that she's just not getting enough, she used to be really good and I don't know where or how the picky eating developed, it's like anything new on her plate she won't touch and won't eat pieces of fruit or veg unless it's banana or melon
For example she will have porridge for breakfast, so I will offer her strawberries or another different type of different fruit on the side and she won't entertain it, I have offered it numerous times too as I was trying to stick to the ten times rule

Do I gently encouraging trying new things when they are on her plate? Or leave her to try it in her own time

Honestly can't tell you how helpful these posts are thank you for taking your time to suggest these

One of my DC had no interest in food and ate only a few items for their whole childhood. It’s no use offering new foods or getting them to choose or growing tomatoes if they’ve never touched any fruit or vegetable.
I was told never to battle over food and after the first ten years I stopped worrying. My DC grew tall and healthy and gradually added new things to eat once grown up.
There’s vitamin C in tomato sauce and my fussy eater also ate chips, bread and fish fingers. Nothing else.