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Original poster

Could you make an activity that happens at 6pm on a week night?

63 replies

Barnyandella80 · 07/07/2020 10:25

I’m fed up with having lived in a town for almost ten years and still having no social life or friend locally.

Since lockdown has eased I’ve joined an exercise type activity that happens at 6pm on a week night. I’m loving it. For the first time in ages I have some social life and it’s brightened up my world.

But once DH and I are back in the office (currently WFH) I won’t be able to go. On the days I’m in the office I don’t get home in time, and even if I can arrange to WFH that day (which I think would be possible) DH would never be home in time to watch DS. (I wouldn’t trust a stranger to babysit and don’t know anyone I could ask).

I’m a bit gutted. DH thinks this is the norm and most people (with kids) probably couldn’t make an activity that happens 6pm on a weeeknight (it’s local not far to travel).

Could you?

OP posts:

Prettybluepigeons · 07/07/2020 10:29

I might be able if I made the effort but I have adult children so I am in a different position.

I think you need to find a way to make this work for you . Saying you don't trust anyone else to ever look after your child is a bit daft! Find someone now so you have time to get to know them properly. Who looks after your child while you work?

EasilyDelighted · 07/07/2020 10:29

Yes, but I have fully flexible work hours, short commute and teenagers who can be left alone. Having said that I probably couldn't because I spend my evenings ferrying them around to swimming, football etc. DH can also be home by 6 if he needs to.

EasilyDelighted · 07/07/2020 10:31

If you could sort the WFH but maybe you could find a local teenager to mind DS?

EasilyDelighted · 07/07/2020 10:32

Sorry, I know you've said you don't know anyone to ask. Have you got neighbours with teenagers?

weebarra · 07/07/2020 10:32

No. I work and have three DCs. I pick them up from after school club at 6.

BlingLoving · 07/07/2020 10:35

When I worked in the City and DH was a SAHD, he joined a running club. They had sessions at 7pm twice a week. usually, I didn't leave the office until 6:30 so couldn't be home in time. But I felt it was really important and DH and I agreed that for the one day - his preferred training day - barring a massive crisis, I would be home and would leave office at 5:45 to make it. For Thursdays we were more flexible - I tried to make it but didn't set it in stone.

At first it was hard, but it very quickly became part of my work routine.

Is it possible your DH could accommodate you in a similar way?

Otherwise yes, you need to find a local babysitter who can cover for you between your departure and his return. It's silly to refuse to trust anyone - people have b babysitters all the time. You need to find one you're comfortable with and establish a routine.

Darkestseasonofall · 07/07/2020 10:37

I wouldn't be able to commit to something at 6pm post lockdown due to childcare etc.

Maybe you could find something else, easier said than don't I know, but if you're setting yourself upto fail you'll just feel sad.

Are there any Saturday morning park runs locally, or things you can do with DC to make other parent friends?

unicornparty · 07/07/2020 10:41

Yes I make running club at 6pm (pre lockdown)

UltimateWednesday · 07/07/2020 10:42

We were talking about this the other day in the context of my running group. We usually meet at 7pm, which lots of people think is too late. Currently (since groups of 6 have been allowed) we meet at 6pm but all the London commuters are wfh.

I think there will be quite a heated debate about whether to put it back or not.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 07/07/2020 10:46

No. No childcare issues, but not home from work at 6.

GloriousTechnicolour · 07/07/2020 10:48

No. One of the things I have enjoyed about lockdown is doing online exercise classes, as I could never make them previously.

Both DH have jobs and commutes that just don't get us home in enough time, and 2 small DC to get to bed and someone has to be in the house. When DH is working in the office he is out of the house 12-14 hours. I was finding it incredibly lonely and dissatisfying pre-lockdown but I can't really see anyway to change that when everything returns to normal.

lifesalongsong · 07/07/2020 10:49

No, 6pm would be about the worst time for me, not enough time to get back from work and sort out a meal. My DC are secondary age so no childcare issues but it would be too disruptive to our evening routine

BlingLoving · 07/07/2020 10:50

Also, I think it's this realisation that so much social/exercise/cultural activities were inaccessible for people who worked in the office that I think will be the big shift post Covid and drive more remote working - people are really starting to understand how losing hours of a day to commuting is a waste. Ditto, taking 20 minutes to put together a meal to stick in the slow cooker so that you don't need to do actual cooking in the evening is a lot easier when WFH etc.

I really hope it's a long term thing and that our out-of-work lives all improve as a result.

mindutopia · 07/07/2020 10:54

Most people I know without kids work until 6pm, so I think it would be tricky for a lot of people. Me personally, no I wouldn't probably do a regular activity at 6pm just because it would be so disruptive. I work long hours and do lots of travel. If I'm WFH on a given day, it's because I actually want to see dh and dc, not miss another dinner together. I think if I worked a normal 9-5 job though, it would be a bit easier.

Pelleas · 07/07/2020 10:55

Yes, as long as it was local.

Original poster

Barnyandella80 · 07/07/2020 10:59

*Also, I think it's this realisation that so much social/exercise/cultural activities were inaccessible for people who worked in the office that I think will be the big shift post Covid and drive more remote working - people are really starting to understand how losing hours of a day to commuting is a waste. Ditto, taking 20 minutes to put together a meal to stick in the slow cooker so that you don't need to do actual cooking in the evening is a lot easier when WFH etc.

I really hope it's a long term thing and that our out-of-work lives all improve as a result*

I whole heartedly agree

OP posts:

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 07/07/2020 11:01

I could only make a 6pm class if I worked from home. DH wfh a lot even before lockdown and only went in for meetings, so he was usually home by mid-afternoon and logged back on. Therefore he’d be there for the kids. On days I was at the office, though, I wasn’t leaving until around 5.30 and didn’t get home til about 6.15.

AriettyHomily · 07/07/2020 11:01

No it was a struggle pre covid to make a 730pm gym class

sittingonacornflake · 07/07/2020 11:03

Nope. Single parent to a 2 year old and that's bath time. In fact I can pretty much do nothing ever thanks for asking!

DinosaurOfFire · 07/07/2020 11:03

No, I am a SAHM but my dh wouldn't be home in time for me to also leave and arrive at said activity. I only commit to things that start at 7pm or later in the evenings. My kids are all under 8,and I can't easily leave them with a babysitter due to to additional needs, they could be babysat by family or close friends but those people also work and couldn't be with me by then.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 07/07/2020 11:03

Would be doable here. Most kids activities are 4 /5 /6 pm.

But we aren't a commuting /big city area.

lampygirl · 07/07/2020 11:49

If I’m in the office I can safely make 6.30 but 6 is a touch and go push. If I’m on site then no chance to either unless it’s an early start early finish day. I have a 20-30 minute commute too. I can usually make the 6pm cycling club stuff if I take my bike and kit to work in the car, change at work and drive to the start, but not if I have to come home first.

I do wonder if the general amount of commuting in this country is necessary at times for definite.

Marketgarden · 07/07/2020 11:51

Before wfh I could not make a 6pm activity.

Atinytrolley · 07/07/2020 11:57

How old is DS? At an exercise type class I used to go to someone brought their DS. I think he was about 8 and he just sat at on a bench at the side (we were in a hall) with a book/tablet. Could that be an option? Or if dh will be back soon after 6, could he pick ds up from where you are? These only work if DS is old enough of course.
How flexible are DHs work? Could he go in a bit early and leave early on that day?

SnuggyBuggy · 07/07/2020 12:02

Like others say, couldn't guarantee DH would be home. Could have done pre children as I finished at 4 and was home by 5.

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