Brother in law invited us to his birthday party in 2 weeks

[Stillmonday]

.., but I don't feel it's safe. I don't want to go, we have an 18 month old toddler so impossible to keep him away from everyone.

Trouble is I don't want to offend.

How do I politely decline? I already accepted when they invited us a few months ago before covid.

What is he planning?

They won’t be offended, just be honest.

If they are offended, fuck ‘em! You can’t win with people like that.

Does your husband want to go as this will affect how you can get out of it.

Last minute illness like D&V?

Where’s he planning on having it? If he doesn’t need to pay in advance, you could see how the situation is nearer the time, before making a firm decision. Why can’t you just tell him that?

@Babs709

They won’t be offended, just be honest.

If they are offended, fuck ‘em! You can’t win with people like that.

This. 👆

‘I’ve found this whole thing extremely tough so to help us cope we’ve decided to stick firmly to the government advice, particularly given the little one and his/her lack of ability to distance. Sorry, but looking forward to celebrating with you later in the year when we’re more comfortable in big groups.’

It's at his house and they've invited a big group of friends. It just doesn't sit comfortable with me. I'm actually surprised they are still going ahead with it.

They've just messaged me again asking if we are going, really not sure how to word it..

Well it’s against all the advice so just say you’re keen to stick with the rules and social distancing.
He is an idiot

No thanks. Still a bit nervous about big groups. Hope you have a great time and we see you soon. Stillmonday

No one should do anything they feel uncomfortable with. Just reply saying sorry, toddler doesn't understand social distancing and it will be too stressful.

I wouldn't feel at all comfortable and I wouldn't be going. You're only allowed 1 household to mix at a time so I'd say you're continuing to follow the guidelines and are unable to attend.

Don't go if you're not comfortable.

Whatever the official line is at the moment, the unwritten code seems to be 'I don't mind if you don't mind' ie do not do anything you're not ok with.

He's taking risks, you don't want to. Just say you're still distancing.

As PP says, if he gets offended he's a dickhead. Fuck that. If he doesn't respect your boundaries: dickhead.

It's all very well and good if groups of people want to fly under the radar and have gatherings that don't adhere to the law if they are able to make informed decisions but how can you make an informed decision about a group of strangers?

Would you be ok if DH went without you?

Personally, I would say no.